


Under the Bridge

by Suituuup



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drug Addiction, Eventual Romance, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-07-05 10:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 65,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15861396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suituuup/pseuds/Suituuup
Summary: As an ER attending, Dr. Chloe Beale dealt with many addiction cases on a near daily basis. But the girl in the faded red cap was different. She just didn't know it yet. AU.





	1. Chapter 1

Chloe was running late.

It was raining outside, and she was running late.

She had a hangover, it was raining outside, and she was running late.

Talk about a good start to her day.

"Morning sunshine."

The bright voice gave her a startle as she tried to put her sock on properly, bouncing on one foot across the parquet floor. She looked at the voice's owner; her best friend, Tom.

"Ah, not so shining."

He laughed as her look turned to a glare in result of his comment.

"I am _so_ late," Chloe grumbled, hastily walking to the kitchen to find herself a glass. Tom set his cup down onto the counter and grabbed her upper arms gently, guiding her to sit down in front of a tall glass of water, some aspirin and her travel cup presumably filled to the rim with fresh coffee.

Chloe looked up at him with the brightest smile she could currently manage with her splitting headache.

"Have I told you lately that you are my favorite best friend?"

Tom huffed and pulled a chair back to sit down across from her.

"Wouldn't hurt to hear it more often. How's the head?"

"Killing me."

Chloe popped the pills into her mouth and downed the glass of water a second later.

"Thanks. I have to go."

She grabbed her travel cup, thankful for not having to stop by the coffee shop with how late she was running, and bent down to press a quick kiss in Tom's hair.

"See you later weirdo," she called affectionately on her way out of their kitchen.

"Later, bestie!"

* * *

Rainy days usually meant busy days at the New York Presbyterian Hospital. Chloe reached it with ten minutes to spare before the beginning of her shift, mind assaulted by the chaos going on in the Emergency Hall the second she stepped through the sliding doors.

She came to a screeching halt to avoid being run over by a rushing gurney, and almost got vomit on her favorite shoes, over the span of just two minutes.

These first two minutes before every shift usually gave her a good idea of how her day would turn out.

Chloe pushed the staff room door open and dropped her bag onto the bench separating the two rows of lockers. She opened hers and grabbed a hanger, draping her soaked rain jacket over it. Hopefully it would dry by the night, or at least, stop raining by the time she was finished.

"How's the head?"

Chloe groaned and turned around to face none other than her friend, Stacie.

"I wish people would stop asking me that," she grumbled in annoyance, wordlessly reprimanding Stacie with a glare.

Turning back to her locker, she grabbed an extra set of dark green scrubs and pulled it over her long-sleeve top.

"So, did you end up at his place or yours?"

"Duh, _his_ ," Stacie answered as if it was the obvious option. "You know I never bring anyone back to mine. What if they're clingy and end up never leaving?"

Chloe stifled a laugh as she pulled her hair out from underneath her scrubs' collar and lifted it into a sloppily-done bun.

"Are you _ever_ going to settle down, Stace?"

"Dunno," the leggy brunette shrugged, blowing a bubble with her gum. "Besides, you're one to talk, Ms. Workaholic."

Chloe sighed and sat down on the bench to slide her feet into her sneakers; there was no way she was going to make it through her shift otherwise.

"I'll work less when I find someone worthy enough of my time."

" _Oooh_ , feisty," Stacie commented, wiggling her eyebrows with a smirk. "I really don't think that's the way you should do it. Work less first to go out more and expand your chances of actually meeting someone."

"Did that yesterday." Chloe stated as a matter of fact, tightening her laces before standing up.

"For the first time in like, three months," Stacie pointed out, and Chloe couldn't contradict her.

Chloe's social life had been put on hold since she became an attending. Her work was her life, so most of her friends were colleagues from the hospital. She and Stacie knew each other the longest, having attended the same university and been friends essentially since Freshman year.

"Or…"

Chloe narrowed her eyes in anticipation. Stacie usually came up with the craziest ideas.

"You could meet someone at the hospital."

"No." Chloe cut her off insistently, pointing a menacing finger her way. "You _know_ how I feel about interwork relationships."

"That's not what I meant," Stacie amended, agitated by the redhead's response.

Chloe reached into her locker for her pager, stethoscope and notepad, which she respectively hooked to the inside of her scrubs, slang around her neck and slipped in the front pocket of her lab coat.

"I was more thinking along the lines of a cute patient. Or a firefighter," Stacie gasped at her own brilliant idea, eyes suddenly twinkling. "There _are_ some pretty hot ones."

"You _just_ got laid a few hours ago and I can still feel your hormones all the way over here," Chloe commented with a laugh, hand waving between she and Stacie. "You're insatiable."

She slammed her locker closed and started towards the door, followed by her friend.

"And I'm sorry, but I don't think me meeting a cute patient is going to happen."

"You never know, Chlo," Stacie said with a shrug. "Love happens in the most unexpected places."

Chloe pulled a face and mimicked a gagging gesture, drawing a laugh from the other attending. Her features grew more serious the minute she stepped in front of the board, eyes flitting over the surface until they caught her name and the nature of the case.

_Arm injury._

She grabbed the corresponding chart and documents and walked to Exam room 15.

"Hi there!" she greeted happily to the mother and her son. "My name is Dr. Beale. What seems to have happened?"

"I fell off the monkey bars and my arm hurts," the little boy, aged six, according to the chart held in her hands, explained sweetly.

"Ouch," Chloe grimaced, rolling her stool in front of the boy. Upon closer examination and a bit of gentle prodding, a dip in his forearm, indeed, indicated a fracture. "Alrighty, I'll order an X-ray to make sure, but I'm almost positive that it's broken."

She stood up and smiled gently once she realized the frightened look that passed over the boy's face.

"No need to worry though, buddy. I'm the best doctor there is in this hospital, and you'll get to have an awesome cast! You can even choose the color!"

The boy's eyes lit up at that, and it reminded Chloe just how much she loved her job.

"I can?!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Of course!" she dotted a few words onto the chart and looked to his mother, who still hadn't said anything since she'd entered the room. "I ordered the X-Ray, hopefully it won't be too long."

"Thank you," the woman said politely, returning Chloe's smile.

Chloe felt her hangover lessen as the day ticked by. It wasn't as busy as she thought it would be, but still busy enough for her shift to fly by.

As darkness steadily fell upon the New York City skyline, Chloe fought a yawn and reached for her next patient's chart. She looked down at the information and purpose of the visit.

_Chest pains._

Chloe pushed the door to the exam room open, taking in the person sat on the bed a couple feet from her. The girl couldn't be much younger than Chloe. She was dressed in dark jeans, an oversized sweatshirt and a faded red New York Yankee cap was screwed on her head, hiding the woman's features in its shadow.

A dog lay at her feet, some sort of border collie mix, but Chloe couldn't tell for sure. She didn't even know that dogs were allowed in the ER, but as long as the animal behaved, she didn't really mind.

"Hello," Chloe started cautiously, tilting her head to the side. She didn't get a verbal response, and stepped closer.

She dealt with drug addiction cases on a near daily basis and could spot them out after mere seconds. She looked down at her chart and spotted the name of the patient, but figured it was a fake one and chose no to use it.

"My name is Dr. Beale. What seems to be the problem?" she asked, not bothering with friendly chatter.

If this woman wanted to act detached, she could be cold, too.

"I got chest pains," the woman explained curtly, jerking her chin to Chloe's chart. "Suppose it says so on here."

"Okay," Chloe drawled out, setting said chart on to the bed. She took out her lamp from the front pocket of her coat and switched it on. "Could you take off your cap, please?"

The brunette mumbled something Chloe couldn't make out, but eventually conceded and took it off. Chloe felt her own breathing itch in her throat when the woman's eyes met hers.

Their color couldn't be clearly defined. They were a shade of grey, with specks of dark blue surrounding the pupils. Said pupils were barely dots in the ocean of grey. The white that surrounded her irises were bloodshot, and dark circles tinted the skin underneath her eyes.

What took Chloe aback, however, was the sadness and apathy somehow blended together in those orbs. It sent a jolt of pain to Chloe's chest.

She snapped out of her daze and shone the light into the woman's eyes.

"Can you take your sweater off? I need to listen to your heartbeat."

The petite woman hesitated, but eventually nodded, sliding her arms through the sleeves and pulling her sweater over her head. The second it came off, Chloe's eyes shot down to catch the track marks marring the girl's skin.

The patient wrapped her arms around herself and Chloe realized how skinny she was now that she only wore a tank top.

It was mid-october and the temperatures had considerably dropped, yet a thin layer of sweat made her skin glow, confirming what Chloe suspected the moment she entered the room; the girl was in withdrawal. From what drug, Chloe didn't know, but she continued her exam to find out, listening to the woman's faint heartbeat, and taking her BP and other vitals.

"I don't think there's anything physically wrong with you," she concluded, eyes flitting to the clock over the door. "I can order a chest x-ray if you'd like, but there will be a few hours wait."

The girl sighed, behavior turning agitated. She had pulled her sweatshirt back on the second Chloe was done and was now shivering.

"I-I just need something for the pain," she stammered, using her sleeve to wipe off her runny nose.

"What are you on?" Chloe eventually asked, tired of beating around the bush and feeling like this was all a waste of time. She'd rather cut to the chase. "Cocaine? LSD? My guess is heroin."

"I don't know what you're talking about," the girl muttered, hands running up and down her jean-clad-thighs, eyes focusing on anywhere but Chloe's. "I just need something for the pain. Like-like morphine."

Chloe looked at her incredulously. She would be more understanding if her patient showed some will to quit. Judging from her denial, Chloe knew she was just here to get her fix, probably from lack of resources to get anything on the streets.

"Did you think this was a drug supermarket? I can't give out morphine to everyone that stops by! Especially since you seem fine, except for the fact that you are in withdrawal!"

The woman recoiled at that, and grabbed her cap, shoving it roughly onto her head.

"I don't even know why I came here. You call yourself a doctor, but you can't even give me medicine."

Chloe gritted her teeth, stung by the accusation. When she became a doctor, she took an oath with herself to always help people at the extent of her capabilities.

Chloe grabbed the patient's arm gently to stop her from leaving.

"The only thing I can do is prescribe you some buprenorphine to relieve the cramps and sweating, and give you an address for a rehab center."

The brunette scoffed, wrenching her arm from Chloe's hold and Chloe felt her patience vanish into thin air.

"Buprenorphine? What kind of joke is this?"

The headache Chloe had managed to suppress from her hangover was now back full force, unpleasantly pressing on her front lob.

"Take it or leave it. I'm not giving you any morphine."

Chloe observed the girl cautiously while she debated it over in her head.

" _Fine,_ " the woman spat out begrudgingly. "Can I have some buprenorphine?"

Chloe nodded shortly.

"Stay here. I'll be back."

Chloe left her to get to the ER pharmacy and retrieve what she needed.

When she got back into the exam room, she found the girl doubled over in pain and clenching her stomach. Chloe's eyebrows furrowed as she closed the distance between herself and the bed, laying a gentle hand over the girl's back in wordless comfort.

"Just breathe through it," she instructed, hand moving in soothing circles. "Inhale through your nose deeply, exhales through your mouth slowly."

To Chloe's surprise, she did as she was told and eventually straightened. Chloe moved to grab a glass and poured some water in it. She handed it, along with a pill, to her patient.

"Thanks."

Chloe nodded, slightly taken aback. Her eyes softened as she yet again witnessed the pain etched in the girl's features. She reached in her pocket and handed her a leaflet.

"This is a really good rehab center uptown," she stated gently. "It _is_ possible to get better, when surrounded by capable professionals. I know the person who runs the center. There are few spots opening up, but if you really want to give it a shot, I can help you get in."

The brunette looked at the leaflet clenched in Chloe's hand, then back at Chloe, expression unreadable and lacking from any emotion.

"I don't need help."

Chloe expected that answer, but that fact didn't prevent anger from pouring into her veins.

"Alright, then. The next time you come here, don't expect any help."

The girl glared at her, the muscle in her jaw snapping.

"Fine."

She untied her dog's leash from its knot on the bed rail and patted his head.

"Come on, boy."

The dog happily followed its owner, stopping too when she did by the door, and turning around to face Chloe.

"I can see the judgement in your eyes, Dr. Beale. I've seen it many times before." She spoke in a soft tone, bitterness nowhere to be heard. "But in the wise words of Atticus Finch: 'You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. Until you climb in his skin and walk around in it.'"

Chloe felt her mouth gape open, gaze unable to leave the door long after it was shut.

Eventually her eyes flickered to the window.

It was still raining.


	2. Chapter 2

Chloe's work life resumed to its normal pattern the next day, and for the three weeks that followed.

She dealt with withdrawal cases, each time hoping (which was kind of twisted, when she thought about it) it would be her Jane Doe from the other time.

She still felt incredibly guilty and couldn't stop thinking about what the brunette had said before she left.

Chloe had never been called a judgmental person before. On a daily basis, she was called kind and open-minded by her colleagues and patients and drew a sense of pride from it.

Being called judgmental had left a sting to her normally bright mood that she couldn't wash off.

So maybe she wanted to apologize just to be back at peace with her mind. Call her selfish.

Or human.

"Ugh."

Chloe laughed and turned to see Stacie dragging her tired feet across the linen floor of the staff locker room. The brunette dropped beside her.

"Yeah."

Chloe agreed with the unspoken complaint. They had pulled a thirty-six-hour shift in result of a school bus accident. Chloe didn't feel the exhaustion until she had sat down on the bench in front of her locker.

Her feet hurt, her eyes stung, and her brain felt mushy.

But not of those were able to overshadow the undeniable relief she felt from saving every kid in that bus. Some would probably drag physical consequences from the accident, but they were all alive, thanks to the incredible work pulled by Chloe, Stacie and their teams.

"We did good today, huh?" Stacie commented, as if guessing exactly what Chloe had been thinking.

"We rocked." Chloe smiled and scraped enough of strength within her to push herself back to her feet. She had to get home at some point. The comfort of her bed compared to the on-call one was undeniable. "I don't know if I wanna sleep, take a shower, or eat."

"Well, I would advise you take a shower first," Stacie stated, nose wrinkling in mocked disgust. "You kinda stink."

"Fuck you," Chloe bit out, though the laugh escaping her mouth made her comeback particularly weak. "Thankfully I don't have anyone at home waiting for me, so. I can stay in my filth if I want to."

Well, she lived with Tom, but they had a sort of bros relationship so neither of them cared if the other stank.

"Aw." Stacie deadpanned before standing and pulling her scrubs over her head. "We should have a double-date tomorrow night."

"Um, _no_."

Chloe would _never_ trust Stacie with her love life. The few blind dates the tall brunette had set up for her turned out to be disasters.

"I'm already having dinner with Tom, anyway."

Stacie stared at her with a raised eyebrow. "Tom is freaking hot. But he's not the type you want to bone, right?"

Chloe felt her face catch on fire. She cleared her throat, but her voice still came out as a mortified squeak.

"No, definitely not."

"I'm glad I have a hot lesbian friend like you," Stacie added, and Chloe felt her blush move down to her neck from lack of space left on her face. Only Stacie talked that way about Chloe's sexuality. "I've never had one of those."

"Thanks, I guess?" Chloe said uncertainly, glad for the rush of fresh air drifting through the open door when one of their colleagues walked in.

Chloe turned back to her locker and pulled a fresh T shirt over her head, enjoying its immaculate state. It was free of sweat, blood or vomit, unlike the scrubs she had just discarded to the laundry bin.

"So Tom _is_ free, right?" Stacie pressed, a glint in her eyes as she shut her locker.

"He isn't with anyone right now." Chloe confirmed, shrugging on her jacket and wrapping her scarf around her neck. She checked her phone, grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

Chloe expected that topic to be brought on earlier by her friend, or by Tom much earlier than now given the time the pair have known each other through Chloe.

"If that does happen," Chloe continued, letting Stacie walk through first after pulling the door open. "Please don't make this awkward."

Stacie's eyebrows flew to her hairline in surprise, and it was a curious sight. "Does that mean I have your approval?"

Chloe giggled, shuddering lightly at the chilly temperature. Fall had definitely settled in over New York.

She didn't know how she felt about Tom and Stacie going out, but she wasn't one to dictate who her best friend chose to do it with.

"What are you, fifteen?" She teased, shaking her head as she wrapped her arms around her upper body. She made a note to herself to start commuting to work with a heavier jacket than her leather one. "I'm not Tom's mom."

"No, but you're his best friend. That counts for something."

Chloe sighed and rolled her eyes, deep-down hoping she wouldn't regret her decision later and that it wouldn't leave either of her two closest friends heartbroken.

"You have my approval."

* * *

Chloe cut herself off mid-laugh when something caught her ear. A beautiful voice, drifting through the street along with guitar strums.

It was coming from the corner on Hancock Street and Tompkins Avenue and growing louder as they walked.

Tom's story got propelled somewhere to the back of her brain as she chose to focus on the sound rather than his voice.

They came up around the corner, Chloe's eyes immediately locking on the singer with the familiar, faded red New York Yankee cap.

"Hold on." She said, blindly reaching out to stop Tom with a hand on his arm, eyes too busy scrutinizing her Jane Doe. She noticed Tom look at her in her peripherical, but he didn't say anything.

Chloe watched, transfixed, as her Jane Doe from three weeks ago in the hospital captivated a dozen people gathered around her with her flawless voice and near-perfect arpeggio skills.

"She's good," Tom's voice in her ear was registered by her brain during the bridge, and Chloe felt herself nod, without being able to rip her eyes from the girl.

She was good indeed. Like, _incredibly_ good.

As the song ended, Chloe was brought out of her reverie by the applause reverberating around her. Her hand felt too numb from the cold to do the same, or perhaps it was because of the fact that her limbs had turned to leaden from her state of awe.

Several clinks and clunks followed from people dropping coins in the brunette's open guitar case. Chloe watched as she crouched down, pocketing the money she had made.

"Can you give me a minute?" She requested, glancing at Tom. She approached cautiously, waiting for the girl to stand back up before announcing herself.

"Hi."

Grey eyes were cast up to meet hers and had the exact same effect on Chloe as the last time. She heard her breathing itch and blinked twice in slow succession.

"I-I don't know if you remember me but-"

"Dr. Beale!" The girl interrupted her with a stamp of certainty in her tone that made Chloe's mouth move wordlessly in surprise. Her eyes twinkled, and her cheerful demeanor threw Chloe off. "I remember you."

Probably not for the right reasons, Chloe mused to herself, wincing slightly.

"Right," she drawled out, choosing to look down at the scuff of her shoes lest she got bewitched by that ocean of greys once more and lost her footing. "I thought about what you said, and I wanted to apologize. You were right, I judged you without knowing your story and I'm sorry for that. It was unprofessional of me."

To Chloe's bewilderment, the brunette let out a curt laugh. "No need to put your panties in a twist over it."

 _Well_ , that got familiar awfully fast.

Chloe felt blush rushing to her cheeks and the unfamiliar weight of embarrassment settle over her shoulders. Her eyes flit around them, and thankfully the only witness of the exchange was Tom, the people that had stopped to listen already on their way elsewhere.

Something belonging to amusement graced the woman's features. "Apology accepted."

"Would you like to get a coffee?"

Chloe found herself asking, without really knowing why. The girl was a stranger, and probably very troubled, but she couldn't shake the insistent voice in her head that wanted her to get to know her.

She was intrigued by her personality and drawn to her bond to music.

Chloe's offer seemed to burst whatever opioid spell the woman was under. Her smile dropped, quickly wiped out by a frown.

"I don't need no charity," The short woman replied, rolling her shoulders back. She lifted her hand, the few bills she had made clenched in her palm. "Got plenty of dough right here to buy myself all the coffees I want."

"It's not _charity_ ," Chloe retorted, the woman's rude attitude sending a spike of irritation within her. "Just a form of apology. And do you think I'm dumb enough to believe that money will be spent in coffee shops?"

"Not your fucking business." The woman spat out, eyes shooting venom as they locked onto Chloe's. As Chloe blinked, those eyes moved behind her. "Your boyfriend is waiting."

Chloe glanced back towards Tom, who waited patiently a few feet away, hands buried in his pockets, pretending he couldn't hear their entire conversation.

"Not my boyfriend."

Why would she clear that up to a stranger? She had no clue.

Why was she wasting her time for a person who clearly didn't like her? She had no clue either.

The woman raised an eyebrow at that but remained silent as she crouched down, resuming to picking up her coins.

"Whatever rocks you boat. I don't give a fuck who _you're_ fucking _._ "

Chloe gasped and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring down at the girl. "Are you always so rude?!"

The smirk slipping onto her lips made Chloe's blood boil in annoyance. "Well, are you always so annoying?"

Chloe's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You're a bitch."

Insulting someone in the streets? That was new.

"Ouch." The brunette let out, sarcastically laying a hand over her heart. "Burn."

Chloe huffed in frustration, and that only appeared to fuel the other woman's amusement.

"Whatever," Chloe snapped, setting her jaw to stop any other profanities from slipping out. "Goodnight."

She turned around to walk back to Tom, her step briefly faltering upon the girl's cheeky reply,

"Night, Red."

It was exactly a block further down that Tom voiced his curiosity. Chloe had been sulking and replaying their argument in her head. She really couldn't be bothered to explain the situation.

"So, what was that about?"

"Nothing." She grumbled, all the while knowing deep down Tom wouldn't let it go.

"That's the Chloe Beale universal word for 'I want to talk about it'."

He infuriated her too, sometimes. Always right, that guy.

"She's such a bitch!" She barked out, perhaps too loudly judging from the odd looks thrown her way by passerby's. "I just wanted to apologize, and she flat out insulted me."

"Okay, hold on," Tom said, lifting his hand as he looked at Chloe with knitted eyebrows. "Back up, I feel like I'm missing an important piece of the puzzle. _How_ do you know this girl?"

"She was a patient of mine a few weeks ago," Chloe started, slipping her hands into her pockets. "It's just got a bit heated and my reaction was unprofessional. Hence the apology."

"How unprofessional are we talking?" Tom pried gently.

"I let some stereotypes alter my best judgment."

Tom slang his arm around her shoulders lovingly, pulling her into his side. "You provided her with care, right?"

She looked up at him, slightly offended. "Of course I did! I was just… bitter and impatient about it." A sigh made its way through her lips. "I didn't try to understand her situation."

She knew she was being incredibly vague, but her tie to medical-confidentiality prevented her from saying more about the nature of the case.

"Don't sweat over it," Tom offered, squeezing her shoulder. "You did the right thing in apologizing, she was a bitch about it, then she's not worth the effort."

As they rounded the corner of their streets, Chloe let her mind drift back to her Jane Doe, and no matter how wise Tom's words were, she couldn't seem to let it go.

She had to see her again.

* * *

"Hey Beale," Chloe whipped around at the familiar voice. Rachel, EMT and former girlfriend of hers stood behind the ER reception desk.

"Hi!" Chloe grinned and walked around the counter, pulling the paramedic into a light embrace. "Long time, no see! How have you been?!"

"Great. Busy," Rachel reached inside her shirt and pulled out a ring looped through the chain around her neck. "Got hitched."

"What?!" Chloe exclaimed, eyes growing as wide as saucers as she held her ex at arm's length. "Who's the lucky girl?"

"A lawyer I pulled out of a car accident."

"Very romantic." Chloe commented with an impressed nod. She and Rachel had dated for six months, before mutually deciding they worked better as friends. "Congratulations, you deserve it."

"Thanks, Chloe." The Latina gave her an honest smile. "So! When are you coming back in the ambo with us?"

"I don't know, but I would love to!"

"Morning Dr. Beale," Chloe's chief of service, Dr. Abernathy-McKadden greeted as she came to a stop next to them. "I see you're already on your way."

Chloe frowned in confusion. "Pardon?"

The blonde woman titled her head to the side, "You didn't get the memo? You're riding with Ambulance 34 today."

"I am?" she asked, then shook her head. "I mean, right, okay!" She turned back to Rachel, "Give me two minutes?"

After grabbing a bottle of water from the staff room and ditching her lab coat, Chloe giddily climbed in the front of the ambulance next to Jesse, Rachel's young ambulance partner, while the other woman got behind the wheel.

"Hey Swanson!" She gave him a quick hug and they fist bumped while Rachel rolled her eyes at their antics.

"Hey Beale, good to have you back on board."

Chloe brushed her hair back from her face and pulled it into a high pony tail. "Good to be back!"

Jesse reached behind the seats and tossed her a cobalt blue jacket that wore the white letters EMT on the back. Chloe shrugged it on and sighed contently, leaning back into her seat. It felt nice to leave the ER and taste another kind of hustle and bustle.

She loved her city and relished the thrill of winding through its streets to get to people in need as fast as possible.

"What's next?" Chloe asked breathlessly as she climbed back inside the ambulance after leaving an elderly woman who had fallen down the stairs (minor injuries only) in the care of Lenox Hill Hospital.

The end of the day was near, but the rush of adrenaline in her veins prevented any form of fatigue from showing its ugly head.

"Stab wound, Montague Street."

Jesse's tone turned serious and his posture grew stiff.

"What is it?" Chloe asked, not understanding the change of demeanor.

"One of the scum neighborhoods of Brooklyn Heights." Rachel answered for her rookie partner, who had visibly blanched.

"Oh."

As the ambulance rolled to a stop, Chloe realized it was one of the many homeless areas in Brooklyn. She noticed a police car had already been dispatched on scene and squinted her eyes to see if it was Tom's patrol.

Not recognizing any of the officers standing close to the victim, Chloe grabbed her bag and pushed through the crowd gathered around the scene.

She stopped short when she recognized her Jane Doe, leaned over their victim and talking softly to him. Chloe shook her head to focus her thoughts and knelt on the ground, snapping a pair of gloves onto her hands.

"Sir, can you hear me?" She asked, hovering above the man, whose face looked very pale. He nodded, and Chloe wasted no time in cutting off his shirt, revealing two stab wounds; one in the stomach and the other in the sternum.

"Okay, Swanson, let's hook up the monitor and get a line in. Jensen, I need some gauze."

"B-Beca," the young man stammered, and Chloe looked up to find him staring at Jane Doe.

"It's okay Benji," Chloe's former patient, presumably named Beca, murmured as she ran her hand repeatedly over Benji's hair. "It's okay."

Benji mumbled something incoherent before his eyes slipped shut, and the monitor, which had been steadily beeping until now, flatlined.

"You need to move," Chloe urged Beca, lightly pushing her back with her arm so she could start CPR. "Jensen, tube him!"

As she started to administer CPR, Chloe vaguely registered one of the officers grasp Beca's arms roughly and her debating against his hold, trashing and shouting profanities.

"Come on." She whispered, already breathless from the effort of pumping onto his chest. "Don't you die on me now. Let's push one milligram of atropine."

"I got a pulse!" Jesse exclaimed after a long minute, eyes locked on the monitor screen. "Weak, but it's there."

Chloe breathed out in relief and moved quickly to cover the wounds to prevent more blood seeping out. Jesse brought out the board and they rolled him onto it and lifted him onto the stretcher.

As Chloe climbed into the back of the ambulance once their patient was loaded, she looked back to see Beca still being restrained by the cops.

"She can come with us," she called out to them, and held her hand out for Beca to grab. Chloe hauled her up, and waited for her dog to jump in, too. As the door closed and the ambulance started down the dirt parking lot, Chloe looked at Beca sternly.

"Sit here and don't move while we work on him. I promise you we'll do our best."

To her surprise, Beca immediately nodded, sitting back on the bench, eyes never wavering from her friend.

* * *

Chloe let out a heavy sigh after splashing some water onto her face. She blindly reached for a towel and dried her skin, before grabbing extra scrubs and pulling them over her head.

She left the staff room and caught the elevator just before the doors slid shut, pressing the button that would lead her to the surgical ward.

Stopping by the cafeteria, she grabbed two large cups of steaming coffee and padded to the waiting room.

She spotted Beca easily, as the room wasn't so crowded at this time in the evening.

"Hi again," Chloe greeted cautiously, tilting her head to the side. Beca lifted hers from where it had been laying in her hands and glanced up at her.

The redhead extended one of the cups towards her.

"Thanks," Beca mumbled, wrapping her palm around the cup and plucking it out of Chloe's hand. "Why aren't you in there?"

Her head jerked towards the flapping doors leading to the OR in wordless direction. Chloe sat on a chair, leaving an empty one between herself and Beca. She brought her knees to her chest, resting her own cup on top of them.

"Because I'm not a surgeon," she explained simply, fiddling with the paper wrap of the cup. "But your friend has got the best team fixing him right now."

"Isn't that what they all say?"

Beca wondered aloud, fiddling with a loose thread on her dog's leash. Her eyes flit to Chloe's, perhaps to judge whether she was lying.

"Look, your friend's injuries are serious, I won't lie about that. However, I'm being honest when I say he's in the best care possible at this hospital."

"Okay." Beca complied quietly, snapping her gaze back to her coffee. "If you say so."

"I know so," Chloe assured her with a smile that Beca couldn't see. Chloe's own eyes traveled down to her dog, who was contently laid by her feet.

"What's his name?"

Beca followed her line of gaze. "Jazz."

Chloe's heart fluttered; she was right into thinking that the brunette had a strong bond with music.

Her dog lifted his head at the mention of his name, resting it back on his paws a second later once he had realized he wasn't being called for.

"I can't lose him," Beca said faintly, hands wringing around the leash. A few tears spilled from her eyes and dripped onto her thighs, drops appearing on the dark denim. "He's the only one I got. He's always had my back."

Chloe sat back for a moment, slightly taken aback by the woman in front of her, suddenly stripped of the shield she had put up both times Chloe had interacted with her. She looked so small and fragile, and all Chloe wanted to do was wrap her up in a hug.

She refrained though, and settled on scooting onto the chair next to her, and laid a hand over the woman's shoulder.

"Beca," Her name rolled off Chloe's tongue naturally, as if she had said it a hundred times already.

She couldn't tell Beca she wouldn't lose her friend, because Chloe didn't _know_. She couldn't make her a promise that she herself didn't have the power over.

So she remained that way, whispering sweet nothings to try and calm Beca down.

"Can I get you anything to eat?"

"No." Beca shook her head immediately, reaching up to wipe at her cheeks hastily. She locked eyes on Chloe. "Why are you doing this?"

Chloe's brow furrowed in confusion. "Doing what?"

"Staying with me when I _know_ you've got better things to do."

Chloe sat dumbfounded, stung by the sudden cold emitting from Beca's voice. "I-I just thought you could use a friend."

"Well, I don't," Beca stated icily, her invisible shield materializing around her and preventing Chloe from seeing though her as she cast her eyes back out of reach. "I'm not the type of person you want to be friends with."

Chloe pursed her lips, trying to reign in whatever it was she was feeling. Frustration, astonishment, inquisitiveness, or an odd mixture of all three.

"I think I'm responsible enough and old enough to know who I want to be friends with."

Beca scoffed, orbs rolling to the ceiling in bewilderment. "You don't get it, do you?" she asked, and Chloe couldn't tell if the question was rhetorical or not. "We live on two _entirely_ different planets."

"What's so bad about being different?" Chloe countered, eyebrow cocked in wonder. "You don't get harmony if people sing the same notes. Only notes that are different can harmonize. I think that applies to people, too."

Chloe knew music would somehow peak Beca's interest. Beca's silence and dumbfounded look confirmed her theory, and it encouraged Chloe into continuing.

"Besides, if like you said, we both live on different planets, then how come we keep meeting each other?"

A flash of amusement flit in Beca's eyes as she glanced at Chloe, and the redhead felt Beca's shield crack in different places, letting thin sun rays filter through and warm Chloe's heart.

"I guess the universe must be on the blink."

Chloe let out a musical laugh.

"Yeah, that must be it."


	3. Chapter 3

For the first time in a while, Chloe felt a sort of levity surrounding her as she walked to work that morning. The two days off she was granted did wonders on the state of exhaustion she had been dragging since that thirty-six hour shift a week ago.

As she walked across the ambulance bay, her feet slowed down to a half-stop when she spotted a familiar figure huddled on a bench just outside of the hospital doors. The dog laying at the foot of the bench left little doubt to whom the figure belonged.

Chloe checked her watch, making sure she was well ahead of time for the beginning of her shift and made the short distance to Beca.

She laid a hand on the woman's shoulder, and took a hurried, frightened step back when Beca shot up and almost smacked her in the face with a swinging hand.

Chloe brought her hands up in surrender, eyes widening.

"It's just me."

"Oh," Beca moved to a seated position and pushed her hair back from her face, slipping her red hat on. "Sorry I-I must have fallen asleep waiting for you."

Chloe's eyebrows hiked up in surprise, shoulders slumping from their tense position.

"You were waiting for _me_?" she had a hint as to why Beca might be there, and it left an unpleasant taste in her mouth and made her arms fall to her sides in disappointment. "I can't give you any more pain killers."

"That's not-" Beca cut herself off and shook her head, pausing momentarily as if to fight off a wave of nausea. "I need your help with Benji."

"Oh." Chloe was the one to let out this time. She sat down next to Beca and folded her hands onto her lap. "Was he released?"

Beca nodded, her expression somber as she stared at the ground.

"Six days ago."

"Six _days_ ago? He was released the morning after his surgery?!" Chloe asked in bafflement, not believing what she was hearing.

Beca shrugged and wrapped her thin jacket tighter around her upper body. Chloe briefly wondered if those were the only clothes she owned. They looked familiar to the other time Beca came to the hospital.

"That's usually how we're treated around here."

" _We_?"

Beca sighed, as if pained to have to clear that up for her.

"Homeless people. We can't really afford medical insurance, so we're quickly sent on our way."

"I'm sorry about that," Chloe found herself stating softly. "This shouldn't happen."

She tried to ignore the little voice in her head telling her in a sing-song, mocking manner that it was exactly the way she had treated Beca a month ago, but it was insistent and made her swallow painfully in guilt.

From the glint in Beca's eyes, the brunette seemed to be thinking along the same lines as Chloe, but her mouth closed without a sound.

"Could you maybe come check on him after your shift? If-if that's not too much trouble."

Chloe wasn't used to Beca being so polite and nervous, and it spoke greatly of her attachment to Benji.

"Of course I can," Chloe agreed, as if she was ever going to refuse helping somebody in need of her care. "Will it be safe? No offense, but your friend was stabbed in the street."

"As long as you didn't recently get some crack from a dealer and still owe him some dough, you're in the clear," Beca said lightly, but the longing in her eyes made the sarcastic pleasantry fall flat on its face. "Sorry, that wasn't…" she trailed off, fists clutching by her side as she debated over the right words to use.

"Look, I wouldn't ask for your help if that meant putting you in danger, Red." Beca added with a small smile which gave Chloe some sense of trust toward the petite woman. The nickname unraveled something foreign, yet pleasant in the pit of her stomach. She still had to pinpoint what it was. "I know I'm an asshole, but I'm not _that_ much of one."

Chloe pondered on it for a second, chewing on her bottom lip. "Okay, I'll come."

She remembered the paralyzing discomfort that had turned her insides upside-down the moment she had stepped of that ambulance the last time, and added as an afterthought,

"I'll bring a friend with me though, just in case."

Beca's expression was unreadable. She shrugged, unfazed.

"Fair enough."

* * *

Chloe's shift was painfully slow, with only minor cases being brought in. The lack of thrill and rush made itself be felt through the middle of the day and Stacie's absence definitely made Chloe's day much duller.

As her shift came to an end, Chloe strode to the pharmacy, punched the code in and opened the door. She grabbed all the things she thoughts she might need while tending to Benji: gauzes, painkillers, antibiotics and a suture kit.

As she stuffed her pockets with the supplies, Chloe shot regular glances out the window, making sure she wasn't seen by fellow staff members. She tried not to let her mind dwell too much on the fact that she was breaking so many rules from her contract right now. Whenever her mind drifted to it, it also drifted to Beca, and that somehow made all other thoughts vanish instantly.

Beca was still in the same spot as this morning, looking as though she hadn't moved a muscle the entire shift, perhaps to make sure Chloe would stick to her word. Chloe also spotted Tom standing against his personal car ten yards away and waved shortly at him to indicate she had seen him before she made her way to Beca.

"Ready?" she asked with a tilt of the head toward Tom's car. She didn't know if she felt ready herself, but now was too late to backtrack. The brunette nodded, stood up, and tugged on the leash to get Jazz up.

Tom would probably not be too happy about having a dog in his expensive car, but he wouldn't let Chloe down now (okay, so she might have purposefully left that detail out when she asked him for his help).

"Tom, this is Beca," she introduced as they stopped near the car, hand waving between them. "Beca, Tom."

"Nice to meet you," Tom greeted, extending his hand towards Beca, who looked at it in disgust and shoved her own into her pockets. In a whirlwind of anger and bewilderment, she turned to Chloe.

"You called _him_?" She shouted, and Chloe blinked dazedly, caught off guard by the sudden verbal aggression. "A fucking cop?!"

Chloe recoiled and stared at the other woman with wide eyes. She briefly wondered if Tom and Beca had had an encounter before, but she figured Tom would have told her after they both saw Beca the other week.

"Jesus fucking Christ, I can't fucking believe you!"

Chloe's mind felt too assaulted by the string of profanities being spat at her to register Beca walking away, until Tom nudged her in a silent prompt to go after her.

"Beca!" Chloe shouted, running for a couple of strides to reach the departing brunette. "Wait!"

She grabbed Beca's elbow in hopes to stop her, but it was quickly wrenched away from her fingertips.

"Don't fucking touch me!"

Beca's harsh tone made tears prick behind Chloe's eyes, her hand immediately falling limp by her side in shock.

"Why would you call a cop?! Do you hate me that much to stab me in the back?"

"No!" Tears filled Chloe's eyes to the rim, dangerously close to toppling down her cheeks. She couldn't find a coherent explanation as to why she was getting so worked up about it. "Tom is a cop, yes, but he's also my best friend. He's just here to help, I _promise_."

"How am I supposed to believe you?" Beca asked lowly, shoulders slumping. Her anger seemed to have vanished in favor of quiet desperation, and it made Chloe's heart heavy in her chest. She could take anger any other day, but watching Beca crumble was painful.

Beca sniffled and glanced down at her feet. Her dog whined, clearly distraught to see his owner upset, and scratched his paw against Beca's thigh.

"Because I gave you my word that I would do my best to save your friend. That still stands today."

"I don't even know your first name and I trust you with my best friend's life," Beca mused with a scoff, tugging her eyes upwards to the starry skies. "How do you do that? Making strangers trust you in the blink of an eye?"

Chloe shrugged, allowing the smile begging to show itself finally stretch on her lips as butterflies erupted inside her belly. She had managed to blink away her own tears and resisted the urge to wipe Beca's for her.

"Because people trust doctors, I guess. Even bad ones. But lucky for you, I'm the best one I know."

A curt laugh escaped Beca's mouth as she finally reached up to dry her tears, putting a stop to the tingling in Chloe's fingertips.

"Come on," Chloe prompted, twitching her head behind them. "Let's go check on Benji."

As they walked back to the vehicle, Chloe buried her hands inside her pockets and glanced towards Beca.

"Chloe."

Confused eyes met hers. "Huh?"

"My name's Chloe."

She watched from the corner of her eye as Beca mouthed her name, as if testing its swiftness on her tongue, and that only made the butterflies flap harder, sending spikes of giddiness all the way down to the tip of Chloe's toes.

"So, I gotta ask," Tom abruptly broke the silence in the car as he stirred onto Brooklyn Bridge. "I might start undercover assignments soon and-" he stopped at Chloe's uncontained snicker, giving her a sideways glare in silent scolding that made her purse her lips.

His eyes moved to the rearview mirror to look at Beca.

"How _did_ you know I was a police officer? Was it my clothes? Did we meet before and I don't remember?"

"It was your attitude," Beca answered nonchalantly, and Chloe's ears perked up in curiosity. "You acted all tough and the way you stand screams cop to me."

Tom took the opportunity of a red light to incredulously stare at Beca through the mirror once the vehicle had stopped. "The way I _stand_?"

"Lose the hands on the hips, man."

Chloe burst-out laughing, Tom's glares be damned. His mouth gaped open in wordless astonishment, and that made her double over. Tears leaked from the corner of her eyes, and she reached out to wipe them, stomach muscles sore from laughing so hard.

"I'm sorry," she said, but Tom's scold told her he didn't believe her, rightly so. She giggled and heard him mutter incoherent things in miff. "Okay, I'm done, I'm done."

Chloe immediately sobered up as they parked on the same spot as the ambulance did a week ago. Being there in the dark made it even more intimidating and she was glad she made the decision to bring Tom along, despite Beca promising it was safe.

She saw Tom stare ahead of them through the windshield, uncertainty settling on his features. He reached out to the glove compartment, but Chloe grabbed his wrist, shaking her head slightly. She knew his gun was stored there, and didn't think it was the best idea to have a weapon with them.

Mainly because she told Beca he would be there as a friend and not a police officer, and the last thing she wanted was to break the brunette's trust.

And also because Beca had given Chloe her word and Chloe chose to trust it, over that voice inside her head that told her trusting a drug addict might not have been the best decision. Tom sighed and nodded, retracting his arm slowly. Chloe was glad Beca was already out of the car to witness their exchange.

Chloe stepped out of the truck, grabbed her bag with the supplies she 'borrowed' from the hospital and handed a torch lamp to Tom.

Beca led them to the back of the covered parking lot now turned in some sort into some sort of open-air shelter, towards a space in the corner where Benji lay on his side, covered by a thin blanket. They passed a dozen of people on the way, and Chloe didn't want to feel that way, but she couldn't restrain the shudder that traveled down her spine in discomfort.

"Hey Benj," Beca's soft voice felt strange to Chloe's ears, much like her gentle gestures felt foreign to Chloe's eyes as Beca tended to her recovering friend. Benji looked alarm upon seeing them. "They're only here to help you, I promise."

Chloe swallowed with difficulty, the shadow of her own promise over her shoulders burdening them with excruciating weight. She set her bag down and knelt on the ground, smiling at Benji softly in hopes to reassure him.

"Hi Benji. Can you lie on your back, please? I just want to check your stitches."

The man nodded, rolling onto his back with a wince. Chloe snapped a pair of gloves onto her hands and lifted his dirt covered shirt before taking off the gauzes.

"Are you in pain?" She asked, fleeting her eyes up to Benji, whose head shook.

"I'm okay."

From the state of one of his wounds, Benji was either lying or took something strong to kill the pain.

"Did you _take_ something for the pain?"

When Chloe's question remained unanswered, she glanced up at Beca with an interrogatory head tilt.

"Did he? I need to know before I give him anything. Some medicine can't be mixed with other substances. If I don't know what he took and I prescribe the wrong medication, he could _die_."

Beca sighed, her own eyes locking on Tom, who averted his.

"Heroin. He used heroin for pain relief."

Chloe nodded, trying to remain impassive and do her job.

"Okay. Thank you for telling me."

After changing Benji's wounds dressings, Chloe covered him back with the blanket and stood. She heard Benji's quiet thank you before his lids slipped shut in exhaustion.

"He needs to drink a lot of water and other fluids, like soup. Staying hydrated is vital," Chloe explained to Beca as the trio walked back to the car. She opened the passenger door and set her bag on the seat, taking the orange prescription bottle and dropping its contents in a zip back to avoid the bottle being traced back to the hospital. She wrote the needed information on it and handed it to Beca. "Here are some antibiotics for the infection."

Worry-filled orbs stared up at her.

"In-infection?"

"Yes. The wound in his stomach isn't looking too good. Have him take one of those twice a day for the next five days. It's very important that he stick to it." Chloe reached inside her bag and pulled out another orange bottle, running through the same process. "Here are some pain killers. It's not as strong as morphine, but will be more suitable than heroin. Heroin might feel good for a while but the aftereffects take a toll on the system. And right now Benji needs all the energy he can get to battle the infection."

She paused, realizing this was a lot of information to take in, especially in Beca's distraught state.

"Do you understand?" She asked to make sure. "No more heroin until he's better. These painkillers are for him only. They should make his fever drop."

Beca nodded, visibly shaken by the whole ordeal. Chloe understood. She didn't know how she would cope if the same thing happened to Tom. Chloe took her pen off the seat and scribbled something on a piece of paper.

"Here's my number," she said, extending it towards Beca who took it with trembling fingers. "Call me if his state worsens. Day or night. I might not be able to come right away if I'm on shift, but I'll try my best."

"Thank you," Beca replied quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she cast her eyes down. "Just… thank you."

"You're welcome," Chloe chanced a squeeze to Beca's shoulder, glad when she didn't recoil from her touch. "Do you need a ride anywhere?"

"No," Beca stated softly with a slight shake of the head. "This is my home."

Chloe looked back to the area covered in tents and makeshift houses. She shuddered unconsciously at the mere thought of living there and immediately regretted it upon witnessing the flash of hurt in Beca's features.

She opened the car door and turned back to Beca.

"I'll see you around, yeah?"

"If the universe keeps acting up, then maybe, Red."

Chloe thought she heard a touch of teasing in the brunette's voice, and it made her smile. She waved shortly and climbed inside the vehicle, buckling up as Tom reversed.

As he stirred onto the main road in direction of their home, Chloe leaned over the central console to kiss his cheek in gratitude.

"Thank you."

"Anytime," Tom said with a small smile, and glanced at her at a stop sign. "She's a drug-addict, isn't she?"

Tom's tone conveyed his concern and Chloe sighed.

"I…" She hesitated, but quickly figured that after tonight's activities, her oath to medicine could be thrown out of the window at this point anyway. "Yeah. At least I think so. She came to the hospital showing clear withdrawal symptoms a month ago. She didn't seem high this time, though. But then again, some people hide it very well."

"Right," Tom drawled out.

"It was weird that she knew you were a cop right away. Are you sure you've never seen her before?"

"Not that I recall," Tom reached for her hand, dropping a quick kiss on her knuckles. "Promise you'll be careful, okay?"

She turned her hand over and squeezed his, feeling utterly lucky to have such an amazing person in her life.

"I promise."


	4. Chapter 4

Chloe didn't like the month of November.

Apart from Thanksgiving, which had just passed, it was her least favorite time of the year.

The fallen orange leaves had turned the trees bare and the skies were covered in thick grey clouds that could only forecast rain, the temperatures still beingl too mild for snow.

She had come back to gloomy New York City after spending an amazing few days down in Oregon with her entire family. Being back amidst the hustle and bustle of the metropole felt like a slap to the face, especially when she had to dive directly into a hectic shift.

"Lunch?" Chloe looked up from dotting notes down on her chart and nodded at Stacie, who had just finished her shift, while Chloe had to pull through another five hours.

"Totes," the redhead said with a sigh, signing the form and handing it to the nurse standing next to her with a short smile. "Those are the tests that need to be run. Thank you!"

Chloe hurried by the locker room to grab her coat and scarf, pulling them over her scrubs. She checked that her pager was still tucked in the inside of her pants, just in case she was called for an emergency during her lunch break.

"So how was your Thanksgiving?" Stacie asked as they stepped out of the sliding doors.

The chilly wind made Chloe wrap her leather jacket tighter around her body and note to herself to start wearing her winter coat instead.

"It was great, I got to-" Chloe faltered mid-sentence as she caught sight of the brunette standing by the ambulance bay, leaning against a pillar and staring blankly at the concrete ground. "Hold on a sec, Stace."

She walked over to Beca and tilted her head to the side, almost as if to study the other girl.

"Beca? Hi,"

"Oh, hey," the shorter woman acknowledged Chloe with a curt smile and a jerk of the chin. "I was waiting for you."

Chloe's eyebrows flew up to her hairline in surprise. She didn't think it would ever get old.

"You were? You could have asked for me inside!"

" 'S fine," Beca shrugged, looking down as she shuffled back and forth on her feet. "I just wanted to thank you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Benji is doing better and that's all thanks to you, so…" Beca trailed off and sighed, glancing up at Chloe. "Look, I can't afford paying you and I'm sorry about that-"

"Stop, please," Chloe cut her rant off, chancing a hand on Beca's forearm. The brunette looked down at it but didn't pull away. The moment was short, and Chloe let her hand drop to her side after a few seconds, fingers tingling. "I didn't decide to become a doctor for the money, or else I would have had a reality check a long time ago. I was happy to help, and I'm glad Benji is doing better."

Beca nodded and slipped her hands inside her pockets, an awkward silence settling over them both. Chloe chewed on her bottom lip, her brain debating on whether to take the leap.

"Are you… doing anything right now?"

"Um, no."

"Have you had lunch?"

"Nope."

Chloe offered Beca a smile.

"Let's have lunch, my treat."

Chloe had listed several arguments to convince Beca to have lunch with her, knowing the younger woman wouldn't accept so easily.

"I come to thank _you_ and you offer to get me food?" Beca asked cheekily, and the glint in her eye comforted Chloe into taking the chance. "You're really stubborn, aren't you?"

"Yep," she replied, accentuating the pop of the 'p'."And I promise it's not charity either." Chloe made sure to add that with haste, feeling like she should add the air quotes as the things she did for Beca never felt like charity to her, unlike what the brunette liked to assume. "I just want to get to know you."

Beca seemed to debate it for an excruciating thirty seconds, which Chloe spent fidgeting, teeth biting down on the inside of her cheek.

"Alright, then."

Chloe grinned, but she faltered when she remembered Stacie was still waiting for her.

"Oh!" she turned around a took quick strides toward her friend, looking at her apologetically. "Sorry, do you mind if-"

"Have a nice lunch with you friend," Stacie told her, adding a wink for good measure that had blush rushing to meet Chloe's cheeks. She knew she was in for an interesting talk (more like Stacie prying information from her) when she got back to the hospital. "Take your time, I'll cover for you."

Chloe chewed on her lip, looking back and forth between the hospital entrance and Stacie. She didn't want Stacie to work later just for her benefit, but then again, she didn't know when she would be able to see Beca again. A Beca willing to spend time with her, that is.

"Are you sure?"

The tall brunette huffed.

"Yes! Just bring me back a bagel or something, I'll eat when you're back." Stacie said, already walking backwards toward the doors. "Now get your cute butt out of here!"

"Alright, alright, jeez," Chloe said sarcastically, pretending to be annoyed, but smiled at her friend, giving her a quick wave. "Thanks! See you later!"

"You didn't have to ditch your friend for me," Beca commented after a while, once they had fallen into step with each other down the street, towards a deli Chloe was particularly fond of.

"No worries, I see Stacie all the time," Chloe assured her with a wave of the hand. "We work together and we're also really good friends."

"She must be wondering what you're doing hanging out with me."

Chloe twisted her head in time to see something belonging to self-consciousness settle over Beca's features.

"She isn't one to judge over appearances," Chloe stressed immediately, then felt her eyes widen over what she had just said and what it implied. "Not that you look homeless I just-" she huffed at her own awkwardness. "Holy hell."

"Chill out, Red. It's fine," Beca's use of her nickname was proof to Chloe that it was _indeed_ fine. Upon looking at Beca, Chloe saw amusement on the brunette's face, probably from hearing her curse. "I know I don't look like I've just walked down the runway."

Chloe cackled at this.

"Who does?" she asked non-rhetorically. "Besides, I kinda like that red hat on you."

Beca didn't respond, but ducked her head, her face hidden from Chloe's vision for a few seconds. The hat wasn't wide enough to hide her reddening cheeks though, and Chloe had to stifle a laugh.

"Are bagels okay? I figured since you have Jazz that we should probably do take-away, and I like bagels."

"Any food is fine, Chloe."

The weight of that statement only dawned on Chloe's shoulders a few seconds later, when she remembered how skinny Beca had looked during their first meeting. It wasn't so obvious now with her baggy clothing, but Chloe couldn't shake off the image from her mind. She winced internally and didn't dare say anything else for the rest of the walk out of fear of putting her foot into her mouth and ruining any chance for a pleasant time.

"So I gather you are a Yankees fan?" Chloe asked, eyes flitting upwards to Beca's faded red cap.

They had just settled on a table in the nearest park from Chloe's work. Jazz had contently laid down by Chloe's feet, his chin resting on her sneaker. She wasn't really a dog person, but this one was really growing on her.

Beca took off the hat and set it on the table, racking her hand through her dark tresses. Chloe found herself mesmerized and only snapped out of it when Beca spoke.

"Yeah. Well, my grandpa was. He used to take me to each game when I was little, and I eventually took a liking to baseball," Beca smiled fondly, seemingly losing herself in her own memories as she ran her thumb over the embossed logo. "I remember the day he bought me this hat. Yankee fans usually wear navy ones, but red was my favorite color as a kid so I insisted that it be this color. He was a bit appalled but got over it once I promised I would never become a Red Socks fan."

Chloe laughed mid-way through her bite, which was probably very attractive witnessing. She hurriedly wiped her mouth from any cheese cream and took a sip from her soda.

"Tom is a Yankees fan as well. I've never gone to a game though, I don't really know the rules."

"It's quite simple if you have someone with good knowledge explain it you. Like Tom."

Or someone else.

Chloe blinked at her own thoughts and chose to take a big bite from her bagel to muffle anything clumsy that her brain-to-mouth filter might fail to catch.

"Ha," Chloe breathed out, twisting her jaw. "Tom is the least patient person I know."

"He seems like a good guy," Beca mused while picking at the salad sticking out from her bagel, before adding, "For a cop."

Chloe giggled.

"I'm still astounded you managed to figure out he was a cop just from looking at him."

"I, um, I lied," Beca admitted, casting her eyes to the table. "I knew who he was. But I didn't say anything because I was afraid you might not come and help Benji if I did. I thought I recognized him when I first saw you guys in the street but I wasn't sure, until the other day."

Chloe frowned, straightening slightly.

"But he didn't know who _you_ were. How…?"

Beca let out a sigh. "I wasn't arrested or anything, I'm not a criminal. I just…" She paused and picked at her food. "That's a story for another time, Red."

Chloe accepted that, despite her dying desire to listen to that story. Thankfully it didn't show on the outside, but her heart was suddenly thumping madly inside her chest at the prospect of seeing Beca again, even more now that the brunette was the one to initiate it.

"Fair enough," she replied, narrowing her eyes slightly. "I like mystery."

There was no time for an awkward silent to develop, as Beca was the one to speak next.

"So, what made you become a doctor?"

"Ah, the loaded question," Chloe assessed with a smirk. "I remembered when I started med-school, all I was in for was the cliché, 'I want to help people'. But that kinda evolved through college. I wanted people to be able to trust me, y'know? To be more than just the person who would find a solution to their health problems. I wanted to help with their emotional pain as well, and have them trust me enough to confide in me."

She paused to make sure Beca was still following.

"I like interacting with my patients and making sure they are truly okay when I let them go. That's why I was appalled when you told me Benji had been released so quickly after surgery. That's definitely not how I work, and I know that's not how my colleagues work either," Chloe sighed, rubbing the crease between her eyebrows. "The decision to discharge him must have come from the administration."

Beca shrugged, her nonchalance obviously justified by the times she had been treated that way.

"He's fine now, thanks to you."

"Is he really?" Chloe asked, biting down on her bottom lip. She couldn't see how this type of injury would completely heal in the kind of environment Beca and Benji lived in. "I can come check on him anytime if you want me to. I'd be happy to," she added, then held her hands up before Beca could reprimand her. "Still not offering charity. Just my abilities as a trauma doctor."

Beca's head shook.

"As much as I appreciate the offer, I don't think it's a good idea."

Chloe's brow furrowed.

"Why not?"

Beca abandoned her food on the table in favor of wringing her hands, an unreadable expression settling on her face.

"There's been some… tensions, ever since the time you came. People wondered who you were and how come I knew you and… let's just say some people get jealous and worked up easily when they are hungry or, or," Chloe didn't miss the hesitation in Beca's voice. "On drugs."

She sighed and picked at the aluminum foil wrapped around her bagel.

"They somehow knew about the painkillers and I just don't think it's a safe environment for you."

Chloe was suddenly torn between feeling grateful that Beca was looking out for her and worrying for Beca's safety.

"Okay, I won't come," Chloe agreed, uneasiness spreading in her chest upon Beca's words. "Are you safe, though? Are people…picking on you?"

"No more than usual," Beca admitted with a shrug after taking a sip from her coffee. "Living on the streets isn't all rainbows and lollipops, you know. It toughens you up after a while."

"No, I know," Chloe amended quickly, feeling slightly dumb over her childish wording. "I just… I'm concerned about you and your well-being."

The brunette raised an eyebrow.

"Is that you or the doctor speaking?"

"Me. As your _friend_."

Beca rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless.

"You don't give up easily, do you?"

Chloe gave into a wink.

"Nope."

"I'm okay. I'm used to the way I live."

"If you say so," Chloe eventually yielded against her better judgement. "Will you tell Benji I said hi?"

A smile slipped back onto Beca's lips at the mention of her best friend.

"Of course. He's very grateful to have been treated by the best doctor there is."

"I'm not-" Chloe interrupted herself, letting out a long breath. "I'm not the best. I know that's what I said but that was in a spur of confidence kind of thing. I make mistakes, every doctor does at one point in their career…" She paused, meeting Beca's curious eyes. "I'm good at my job but I'm still a human being. I'm bound to make bad calls. Luckily what Benji suffered from was easy figuring out and I'm sure about this call but it's not always that way."

"I know. I used to watch _ER_ all the time when I was a kid. I don't know if it was accurate, but they made mistakes, too," Beca said with a laugh, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Why did you want to become an ER doctor?"

"I like the rush," Chloe answered immediately, not a doubt left on her mind about that. "I love traumas and being the first doctor people will see. I almost took the EMT diploma, but I went for medical school instead. It was probably the hardest eight years of my life, and now I barely have time to do anything besides working, except eating and sleeping. But I love my job more than anything in the world and wouldn't trade it for anything."

Chloe couldn't accurately add _anyone_ to that equation, given the fact that she had been single for the last two years. Her past girlfriends weren't very understanding that she had to leave in middle of dates for emergencies, or pull thirty-six-hour shifts from time to time. Chloe somehow accepted that it was the way she chose to live her life, and the rewards her job gave her didn't leave her with much regrets.

"You're quite something," Beca observed, picking up her food once more to resume eating. Chloe noticed she was being very slow at it, only taking small bites here and there.

"Thanks."

Beca huffed slightly, giving the redhead a sheepish eye-roll.

"I didn't say it was a compliment."

"Well, if something can be meant as a compliment, I'll take it as such. Life is too short to listen to unconstructive criticism."

"You're so weird," Beca told her with a shake of the head, but the smirk on her lips told Chloe she was only joking. At least Chloe _hoped_ she wasn't misinterpreting the whole thing. Then again, she barely knew the girl. "But I like weird."

"Two compliments in a row? Oh, my."

Chloe wondered if they were flirting. She wouldn't mind if they were. She felt her own eyes widen upon hearing her thoughts and tried to simmer them down.

"And you call me weird, but I'm not the one who goes blurting book quotes at people they've just met."

A genuine laugh escaped Beca's mouth, and Chloe tried to reign in the butterflies flapping away in her stomach. They were getting out of hand and being very distracting.

"Yeah, I'll admit that was unusual."

Chloe hummed.

"You read a lot, then?"

Beca nodded, the smile she got whenever she talked about something important to her stretching her mouth. "Yeah. Anything I can get my hands on. I feel like literature is good for the soul, y'know? Kinda like music."

"I know what you mean. Music is very important to me," Chloe agreed with a nod. "I wish I had more time to read though. And whenever I do, I seem to pick up books that aren't that good of a read so I let it go before I even finish it."

Beca raised an eyebrow at that, before she bent down to retrieve something from her backpack. She slid a worn copy of _To Kill a Mockingbird_ across the table.

"I promise you'll like this one," Beca said, tapping the cover. "Unless you've already read it; it's a classic after all. It taught me a lot."

"I haven't," Chloe told her, grasping the book with both hands. She ran a palm over the battered cover. It sure seemed to have been read quite a lot. "I can't take your book, Beca."

"It's just a loan, you can give it back to me when you're finished," Beca said with a small wink. "I guess you gotta help the universe from time to time, right?"

Chloe felt a huge wave of warmth flood her and her brain was suddenly arguing with her body to simmer it down.

"Besides, I know it cover to cover. It should be enjoyed by someone else."

Chloe didn't know what to say, so she settled with a quiet, "Thanks."

Chloe's giddiness over the exchange was suddenly broken by a change of demeanor in Beca's features. After slipping the paperback into the large pockets of her coat, she just then noticed the short woman was shaking and had turned slightly paler over the course of their conversation.

"Are you okay?" Chloe asked in concern, laying a hand atop Beca's forearm.

Beca seemed to fight off a wave of nausea, as it took her long seconds to answer.

"I'm…" she trailed off, eyes screwing shut. She swallowed with difficulty a while later. "Fine."

"Beca-"

"I need a fix," Beca finally blurted out, and Chloe was now the one battling her oncoming nausea. The tiny happiness bubble she found herself in burst, the harsh reality of the situation smacking her in the face, leaving her dizzy. She took her hand off Beca's arm, as if burned, and immediately kicked herself for it.

"Oh."

Beca grimaced and dropped what was left of her bagel onto the table.

"I should go."

"No, Bec, you don't have to go."

"I _need_ to go, Chloe. You don't understand what it's like. You've never been dependent."

"No, you're right, I don't know what it's like," Chloe rolled her shoulders back and stared at Beca defiantly. "You made that very clear the first time you showed up at the hospital. I want to understand, though."

She tentatively laid a hand over Beca's, glad when the brunette didn't make any move to pull away, and willed her tone to be softer despite the bitterness screaming to take control of her words. Lowering her head, Chloe attempted to meet Beca's fleeing eyes and locked on them.

"Make me walk in _your_ shoes."

Beca seemed to ponder on it for a moment, and just as she was about to reply, Chloe's obnoxious pager went off. She grumbled something under her breath, letting go of Beca's hand to look at the screen.

"Shit, I have to go, I'm sorry," she swung her leg over the table bench and pointed a finger at Beca, "This conversation isn't over."

"Alright," Beca managed a smile, though it was faint. "Thanks for lunch."

"My pleasure," Chloe bent down to pat Jazz's head and kept herself from giving Beca a hug, settling for a short wave. "Don't be a stranger, okay? You know where I work. If you ever want to have coffee or something, I'll make time. Heads up, though, the coffee from the staff room is pretty much crap."

"Okay," Beca nodded, gathering her backpack and putting it over her shoulders. "Bye, Red."

/

"So," Stacie asked after Chloe dealt with her emergency back at the hospital. Chloe was surprised to see her friend still there. The glint in her eye told Chloe where this conversation was going. "Who's the cutie?"

"What?" Chloe asked, feigning confusion, even though she knew she couldn't fool her friend. She avoided the brunette's eyes and took a chart from the pile.

"That girl you had lunch with," Stacie unneeded clarification made Chloe think back about her time with Beca, and a smile slipped onto her lips on its own accord. "You _like_ her!"

"What? No!"

 _Did she?_ Chloe had no clue. Beca was complicated, and troubled and far too closed off for Chloe to even know if she was attracted to her.

Chloe tried to escape her own thoughts, choosing to focus on the results she had ordered before leaving for lunch instead.

"We're just friends."

"Oh, okay then," Stacie conceded, leaning back against the counter of the desk. "She looks familiar, but I can't tell from where. What does she do?"

"She does?" Chloe asked. She would have remembered if she had seen Beca at the hospital before their initial meeting. "She isn't working at the moment."

Stacie hummed but didn't say anything for a while. "Guess what?"

Chloe's eyes met Stacie's briefly. "What?"

"You remember that brunette who was hanging out with Steve when we went out last time?"

Chloe hummed non-committedly, going back to her chart.

"Vaguely."

Stacie reached into her pocket for her pad, and Chloe watched curiously as she scribbled a number onto it after looking it up on her phone.

"Here. She says you're cute and that you can call her if you want to meet up."

"Oh," Chloe glanced down at the piece of paper being extended to her. She grasped it between her fingers. "Thanks."

Chloe slipped the paper into her pocket, knowing damn well she wouldn't use it anytime soon.

And _there_ was that first clue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things start to get serious next chapter and onwards so, brace yourselves.


	5. Chapter 5

Chloe registered the front door opening and closing, but it didn't steal her attention from the lines she was reading.

"Morning," Tom greeted, making a beeline for the fridge to get himself a beer. Chloe raised an eyebrow, finally looking up from her book.

"Isn't it a bit early for beer?"

Tom rolled his eyes, sitting across from her.

"Don't patronize me, Beale. I just finished the night-shift. This feels like seven P.M. to me."

Chloe nodded in understanding, eyes flicking back to her book.

"Since when do you read?" Tom asked, frowning.

"Since Beca lent me this book," she explained naturally, wincing internally as soon as the words flew from her mouth.

"Beca, huh?" Tom wondered with a smirk, leaning back in his chair. Chloe held her breath for the inevitable. "You guys going steady?"

The redhead ground her teeth together, eyes casting upwards to glare at her best friend, who simply chuckled in response because he knew he was on thin ice.

"Shut your face. We're just friends."

"Mmm," Tom hummed, but remained silent, to which Chloe was thankful. She didn't need anyone fueling her already confusing thoughts about Beca. Her brain was already making sure the small brunette was on the forefront of her mind every day (who was she kidding, more like every hour).

"I need to get to work," Chloe said after checking her watch. She slid a bookmark inside the page and shut the book. She stood up and rinsed her coffee cup in the sink before grabbing her book from the table, intending to read it on her subway ride.

"Tell Beca I said hi."

Chloe rolled her eyes and gave him the finger, growling when he smirked back.

The thing about Beca was, Chloe never knew when or where their next encounter would be.

/

"Are you actually fucking insinuating that I'm stealing!"

Chloe's step faltered by the door. It was nearing nine pm and she had just got off an excruciating long shift in the ER. She decided to stop by the 7/11 convenience store on the hospital street corner to get some snacks and beer.

She had wondered when the next time she'd see Beca be. What she didn't expect though, was to find Beca yelling at the cashier.

"I'm not insinuating anything, I saw you put that bag in your pocket!"

"I can't believe you would accuse me of-"

Joe, the owner of the shop, crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at Beca.

"Give it back or I'm calling the cops."

Beca huffed, spat out a number of insults under her breath, and reached inside her large coat pocket to retrieve the small bag of bread.

Chloe stood, dumbfounded by the scene unfolding before her and not knowing if she should just stand there or offer to help. Beca paid for the rest of her items-a bottle of water and a small bag of dog food- and turned to the door without another word. She bumped into Chloe without acknowledging her, head ducked towards the ground and red hat blocking her vision. She was out of the door without mumbling even an apology.

"I swear, those homeless people, always so rude," Joe muttered under his breath, but his face brightened the moment he spotted Chloe. "How you doin', Dr. Beale?"

Chloe blinked out of her stupor.

"I'm good Joe, thank you," she hurriedly marched to the counter and fished out some dollar bills from her pocket. "I'm actually going to buy that bread."

She grabbed a couple of bags of chips from the shelf behind her and decided to forego the beer.

"Ring this up, too, please."

Chloe's foot repeatedly tapped on the floor as she waited for her items to be rung. Her eyes kept flitting to the door, wondering which way Beca had gone and if she would be able to catch her up.

Getting antsy, she eventually slammed well enough money to cover for the three items and shouted a "Keep the change!" at Joe on her way to the door.

As she stumbled onto the sidewalk, she twisted her head left and right, until she spotted a familiar figure walking a few hundred yards away. She took off in a light jog, slowing down to a walk when there were only a few yards separating her from Beca as to not frighten her.

"Beca?" she cautiously called out.

The brunette stopped and visibly stiffened, before glancing over her shoulder.

An annoyed sigh flit through her lips, accompanied by a glare cold enough to make Chloe's insides freeze over, if she didn't know it wasn't all just a façade over the beautiful soul inside.

"What do you want?"

"Bitter much?" Chloe commented, falling into step with Beca as she resumed walking. "Here."

She handed Beca the bag of bread, but hadn't anticipated such a strong reaction.

"The fuck?!" Beca said loudly, eyeing the bag of bread as if it was evil. Chloe jumped slightly. "I told you I don't accept charity!"

"Beca, please," Chloe implored, gently grabbing Beca's elbow. The shorter woman stopped and let her head hang. Chloe extended the bag towards her a bit more forcefully. "Just take it."

Beca eyed Chloe, then the bag, before she grabbed it and tore it open a second later. She took out several slices and bit into them hungrily, chewing rapidly as if to make it go down into her presumably empty stomach as fast as possible.

Chloe watched on, her heart breaking a little over the sight. She wondered how long Beca had gone without eating. Too long, probably, to have set her pride and shame aside the way she had just done in favor for food.

"I was thinking of getting a coffee. Would you like to join me?"

Chloe asked after a moment, tilting her head in direction of the bar tucked in the next street corner.

"I've just finished my shift and I'm too wired to sleep. But I don't want to keep you from going home."

"No, I…" Beca hesitated for a beat, eyes cast down to her shoes. "I could use some company, too," she paused and narrowed her eyes, though a lopsided smile now adorned her face. "As long as it's not charity."

Chloe laughed lightly and shook her head, burying her hands into her pockets to seek for some warmth as they started down the street towards the lit sign.

"It's not, because you'll have to keep up with my stories for a while. And you'll get to pay next time."

The brunette scoffed, but Chloe knew it was simple banter.

"Next time? Don't get too ahead of yourself there, Red."

Beca opened the door and motioned for Chloe to step in first. The bar was quiet, save for a few patrons milling about by the counter and two young guys playing pool near the entrance. They found a small table in the corner and settled down.

"Is it cool with you if I get a beer?"

"What? Yeah, of course," Chloe suddenly remembered she meant to buy beer at the store. "I'll actually join you on that."

As Chloe shrugged her jacket off, she noticed that Beca remained in her coat and hat, hand grasping the handle of her backpack that sat at her feet, as if ready to run the second she had the opportunity to.

"Where's Jazz?"

"He's keeping Benji company while I'm away," Beca explained, pausing when the waitress brought them their drinks. "He's acting as guard dog, even though I'm not sure he knows that's his duty."

Chloe chuckled.

"And how is Benji doing?"

The soft smile Beca sent her warmed Chloe's insides. It seemed like Chloe had managed to knock down that emotional shield once more.

"He's better, I think," Beca let go of her bag to slide her drink towards her before taking a sip. "At least that's what he tells me."

"That's good, I'm glad," Chloe replied with a smile of her own, nestling her chin in her propped-up hand as she looked at Beca. "Have you known him for a long time?"

"Um, yeah, since I was eighteen. So…" Beca thought for a second. "Eight years."

"You're twenty-six?"

Beca raised both eyebrows, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Hey, you can count!"

Chloe felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

"Shut up."

"Yes, I'm twenty-six," Beca confirmed with a nod. "You?"

Chloe pulled a face.

"Ugh, turning thirty in a couple months."

Beca tilted her head to the side.

"What's so bad about turning thirty?"

"Nothing, I just…" Chloe let out a sigh and cradled her glass with both hands. "I thought that by that age I would have settled down and maybe have kids on my own. But here I am, still single and working too much."

Beca choked on her sip, sputtering a bit as she set her drink down.

"You're single?"

"Um, yeah," she laughed at the dumbfounded look across Beca's face. "Is it that hard to believe?"

"Kinda," Beca offered simply, along with a shrug.

Chloe decided to push her luck. Her interest was now too peaked for her to just let it _go_.

"How so?"

"You're really going to make me say it, aren't you?" Beca asked with a playful glare. Chloe shuffled on her chair, giddiness taking over her limbs. "I didn't think people like you were ever really single. You know, the beautiful type."

Beca blushed at her own awkwardness, and Chloe took a sip from her beer to cool off. The air around her had suddenly turned to a hundred degrees, and so had her cheeks.

The redhead cleared her throat. "Thank you."

Beca shrugged again. "Just stating facts."

"So that wasn't meant as a compliment, then?"

The brunette snickered, features softening.

"Maybe a little bit."

Chloe was starting to like that flirting thing, even though she willed her heart not to jump to conclusions. It felt natural, and it brought a sort of levity between them, much like that last time at the park. She realized Beca had shed her coat during the conversation and smiled. Maybe they could have a pleasant, friendly time after all, without Beca being on the brink to flee.

"I don't know what your 'beautiful' standards are like, but I've just pulled a fourteen-hour-shift, I've got bag under my eyes and I stink, so."

"So? Beauty comes in many forms," Beca retorted thoughtfully, and Chloe found herself straightening in her chair, hanging on every word. "It's not so much the physical looks that I find important in someone but rather their kindness. Their ability to make other people smile. Like you do."

Chloe's heart was probably flatlining by now, and she thought it a wonder she was still breathing soundly.

"A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely," Beca paused, frowning slightly. "Not, not that it applies to you. The ugly part, that is. What I meant to say it that I think it's more important to value someone by what's inside rather than focusing on their looks."

Beca winced, shutting her eyes briefly.

"That was cheesy, wasn't it?"

Chloe choked on her own saliva, barely able to blink away from the woman sitting across from her. She really was an enigma. An enigma Chloe definitely wished to find the solution to.

"No," Chloe managed after a while. "You're good with words."

Beca's head shook.

"I just borrow them. The last part was from Roald Dahl, actually. From a book called _The Twits_."

"Here we go again, blurting out book lines," Chloe rolled her eyes, but threw in a wink just in case her sarcasm wasn't obvious. "Quit bragging, Bec."

Beca huffed, shoulders slumping like a frustrated child.

"I'm not-"

"I'm just joking," Chloe assured her with an honest smile. "Where does this love for literature come from anyway?"

"My, um, my mom used to read a lot. I guess I got it from her."

From the change in Beca's demeanor, Chloe quickly figured her mom was not in the picture anymore. She nodded and remained quiet, feeling like the subject shouldn't be addressed this early in their friendship, or whatever they could call it.

"Well, I'm only halfway through _To Kill a Mockingbird_ but I really like it," Chloe said, deciding to go for a lighter direction. "I almost missed my subway stop this morning because I was too sucked into it."

Beca laughed, and a comfortable silence soon settled between them, until Chloe couldn't ignore the questions hammering her brain since they last met a week ago.

"Can I ask you a question?" she asked tentatively, nibbling on her bottom lip.

From the wary look Beca gave her, Chloe figured she knew what she was about to ask. "I guess so."

"I'm just confused..." Chloe trailed off, the words dying on the tip of her tongue. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Are you using now?"

Beca's flit to their surrounding. The other patrons were too far away to even catch a glimpse of their conversation.

"Chloe…"

"I'm sorry but I fail to understand. You were in _withdrawal_ the first time I saw you. And now you seem fine and I just… I don't get it."

Beca started to wring her hands.

"I don't think-"

"You were about to explain some stuff to me the other day," Chloe patiently pointed out, pointer finger pushing on the table surface. "I'm just trying to _understand_."

"Yes," Beca said quietly, choosing to focus her eyes on the rim of her glass. Chloe blinks. "I'm using now. I only use the amount I need to get through the day. Not more, not less. I know how much I can take to feel light and free of pain."

Chloe nodded, biting on her tongue to keep herself from asking what kind of pain Beca was referring to. She was perfectly aware that she was walking on thin ice. She knew Beca could bolt at any moment if she pried for too much information. So she sat back, and resumed listening.

"The time I went to the hospital was different. I was going through some shit and used more than usual for several weeks. Took me a while to get back to normal amounts."

Chloe nodded and was about to speak, but Beca beat her to it.

"Don't you think I've tried to stop?" Beca's voice grew shyer as she finally glanced up at Chloe, eyes holding the same amount of sadness Chloe had grown used to. "Don't you think I tried to fight the addiction?"

Chloe remained silent. She didn't know if she was supposed to give an answer, and that were the case, she wouldn't know what to say.

"When I first started using, each pill felt like being covered with a soft blanket, like being wrapped up in a cocoon where all my worries would just vanish, y'know?" the sadness was brushed away by a twinkle in Beca's orbs as she uttered the words, and Chloe suddenly felt sick. "And I relished that feeling. It gave me a sense of happiness I had never tasted before."

Chloe swallowed the lump in her throat, not daring to interrupt Beca's story. The brunette sighed and took off her hat, racking her hand through her dark tresses.

"You know those two cups of coffee you drink every day?" Chloe nodded, leaning a bit more across the table in curiosity. "What if I told you that starting tomorrow, you can never have another cup of coffee again for the rest of your life? You might feel capable of overcoming the need right now because you've already had your fix for the day. But when your alarm rings and you get into your morning routine, you'll give in. And then you'll justify your actions by convincing yourself you could stop anytime if you wanted to, you just don't _want_ to. But it's too late. You're hooked and it's too hard to _stop_."

Beca sat back in her chair and let her words settle in Chloe's brain. Chloe had studied and read a lot about drug use and dependence. A three-minute-conversation with Beca was worth more than hundreds of books, medical magazines or essays on the subject.

"But not impossible," Chloe mused, tilting her head to the side. "Like I said, with the proper professional help…"

"You don't _get_ it, do you?" Beca said, not so harshly but with a hint of impatience and frustration in her tone. Chloe clamped her mouth shut. "I'm too far gone. Besides, I'm happy the way I _am_ , I'm happy the way I _live_."

Chloe could feel her eyes widen in puzzlement. Something wasn't right.

"You're happy… _starving_ for food?"

She couldn't shake off the image of Beca desperately throwing herself on that bag of bread. It was most likely to be burned onto her mind for a long time.

"How long had it been since you had last eaten, Beca?"

"I dunno," Beca's expression went back to nonchalance. Like eating wasn't her priority. Beca pursed her lips in thought before shrugging. "Sometimes I lose track."

"You-" Chloe faltered, jaw dropping in utter disbelief. "You lose _track_? Beca-"

" _Why_ do you care?" Beca interrupted, eyes flashing in sudden anger.

Chloe was getting confused by Beca's sudden changes of demeanor, and it was only now that she could witness the effects of the drugs on her. Severe mood swings, itchiness, irritability. It was as if she was now talking to a completely different person and the switch was happening right before her eyes and she was helpless to do anything about it.

"Why is it so important to you that I stop? There are _thousands_ of drug addicts in this city who probably _want_ to stop, Chloe."

Chloe recoiled, her mouth moving wordlessly while Beca stood up and flung her backpack over her shoulders unceremoniously, drawing stares from the few people lagging by the counter.

"I'm _not_ one of them, so why don't you find someone that really needs help, so you can babysit _them_ instead?"

Beca shot her a glare as she adjusted her backpack, and span on her heels in direction of the door. Chloe sat still, dumbfounded, staring at the table surface. Eventually, her heart caught up with what had happened and pulled itself out of its fog, suddenly screaming at her limbs to chase after her.

Screaming at her brain to go fight a losing battle.

Chloe always told herself she would listen to her heart and not her brain.

She was up and moving a second later. She slammed a few bills on the table for the barely consumed drinks, and grabbed her coat from the back of her chair, knocking it down in the process. An apology directed to the waitress flew out of her mouth as she exited, eyes already on Beca's trail.

When she stepped out of the door, Beca was nowhere in sight.


	6. Chapter 6

Chloe felt funny. And not the good kind of funny that made you feel light. The kind of funny that made your limbs feel like leaden, and your vision double, unable to focus.

She had let Stacie convince her to go out with her at this up and coming club in Brooklyn. As neither woman was on shift the following day, Chloe agreed.

Boy, was she regretting that, now.

Exhaling slowly didn't bring any relief to her dizzy state and she folded on herself, bracing her hands onto her knees, trying to concentrate on a crack on the sidewalk to clear her vision.

"You okay there?"

Chloe straightened, battling against the oncoming headache. The voice was male, and the shape was definitely male too, but that was all Chloe could make out. She blinked several times in rapid succession, but it didn't make the image registered by her brain any clearer.

"Just feeling a bit dizzy," she mumbled, surprised by how dry her mouth and furred her tongue felt. "I might have drank too much."

That was the thing though, she had had only two cocktails and usually held her alcohol better than that.

"Do you need a drive home?"

The guy's voice was unpleasantly slick, and Chloe's brain screamed at her not to agree.

"No, I'm-" she stopped as a wave a nausea hit her and gagged, but didn't vomit. "I'm fine."

She registered his arms around her and wanted to lift hers to push him away but the strength to do so had seemingly left her body.

"Get off," she murmured, voice shy of any of the intimidation she had aimed for, placing her hands on his chest and giving a push that barely made him stumble.

"Let go of a beauty like you?" he husked out into her ear, and she felt his hands squeeze her hips. "I don't think so."

"No!" She managed to gasp out. That was all her brain could come up with.

No, no, no. She didn't want this.

"Leave me alone."

"My place is very nice," he continued, and her vision cleared enough for her to catch his smirk. It made her insides churn once more. "You'll like it."

"I think she asked you to leave her alone."

That voice! Chloe knew that voice. It was familiar, and she had wondered when the next time she would hear it come.

"Get lost, midget!" the tall guy bellowed, and Chloe wanted to punch him in the gut for speaking that way to Beca.

Beca. That was _it_. The voice belonged to the petite brunette with the grey eyes and the red hat. And the dog. Chloe was 90% sure she had a dog, too.

Chloe mustered the energy to lift her head, looking for evidence that her brain wasn't playing tricks to her. Her eyes caught the red shade and a bark echoing into the empty street confirmed her suspicions.

"Get away from her."

Beca's voice was calm, yet stern, and it made Chloe's racing heart slow down to a normal rhythm.

Her blurred vision caught a movement of battling hands, the guy's leaving her body a second later.

"I told you to fuck off!"

The man's shout was interrupted by a collision noise and a cry of pain a second later, before Beca's voice assured Chloe she wasn't the one hurt.

" _You_ fuck off."

Chloe's mind and working senses were assaulted by all the noises she couldn't associate clear pictures with, and her ears were muffled by barks, more shouts and eventually, running footsteps.

"What seems to be the problem?" a gruff voice asked. Chloe could make out a burly shape.

"This man abused my _friend_."

A beat of silence followed the departing of two sets of shoes on the sidewalk.

"Beca?" Chloe asked cautiously as she blinked again, enough times for the blurriness to eventually vanish. Beca appeared in her line of vision, closer to Chloe than the redhead had anticipated.

"Yeah, it's me."

Chloe noted gentle hands gripping her elbows and was led to sit down on a step. She slumped against the door recess, feeling utterly exhausted and confused.

"What's going on?" Chloe asked, fighting against the insistent drop of her eyelids and the numbness seizing her muscles.

"I think your drink was spiked," Beca explained, and Chloe felt slightly calloused fingers against her cheek. "Hey, don't fall asleep on me, Red."

Chloe smiled weakly at the nickname she had grown accustomed to over the last month.

"Do you have any of your friends inside?"

Chloe's eyebrows knitted together. She remembered coming here with Stacie, and then Stacie leaving with someone after making sure Chloe was fine on her own. Chloe had told her she wanted to keep dancing. She didn't know how long ago that interaction had occurred.

"No."

That was all she could say before the drinks she had consumed rose into her throat, mixed with whatever she had eaten before going out, and landed on the pavement by Beca's feet, narrowly missing the brunette's sneakers.

Chloe coughed and sputtered, before straightening up and heavily leaning back against the door.

"I'm sorry," she cried, bringing a shaking hand to cover her mouth.

"It's alright."

That familiar softness in Beca's voice was back, the one Chloe had witnessed when she tended to Benji. Beca's fingers raked through Chloe's hair, pushing it back from her sweaty forehead. "Do you live far?"

Chloe's street name flew through her lips out of habit and Beca hummed.

"That's too far to walk," she said after a beat. "Do you want me to call Tom? That's your friend's name, right? I'm not- I'm not good with names."

"You remember mine, right?"

Chloe's mind was too fuzzy to sort out priorities. Or maybe assuring herself that Beca remembered her name _was_ a priority.

The brunette chuckled, the vibrant sound reverberating inside Chloe's skull and chasing away her oncoming headache.

" _Chloe_ , do you have your phone? I'll call Tom."

Chloe lifted her hand, only to let it drop back against her thigh out of weakness.

"'S in my front pocket."

"I'm gonna reach for it, okay?"

Chloe nodded, lids slipping shut as she felt fingers slip past her pocket to grasp her phone.

"What's your pin code, Chloe?"

0331? 3031? 3103? Chloe couldn't remember.

"It's my birthday," she offered quietly, feeling drowsiness take her further and further away from the current situation.

"Jesus Christ," she heard Beca mutter. She sounded annoyed. " _When_ is your birthday?"

"Birds sing a lot on my birthday."

"So you're going to make a riddle out of it?" Beca's tone was light and it made Chloe giggle. She felt hands cup her face once more, and those grey eyes once again put her under their spell. She blinked, finding it easier to focus on those beautiful eyes than on the crack in the sidewalk in an attempt to ground herself. She had just started counting the different dots of blue in Beca's irises when the brunette interrupted her.

"Chloe, focus, please? You were born in spring, then?"

Chloe frowned, racking her brain for an answer. When had it turned so blank?

"Yeah, I think so."

"Okay. Were you born in March?"

"March!" She straightened up, eyes flying open. "Yes, that's it. I was born in March. The 31rst, I think."

"Okay," Beca was silent for a moment, while she punched in the date. "Good job."

Chloe grinned at the compliment and let her head loll to the side in exhaustion. She heard the conversation Beca was having on the phone, but it sounded too far away for her to make it out.

"Tom said he'll be here in ten minutes."

Panic sized Chloe's chest as her hand shot out to grasp Beca's arm.

"Don't leave me, _please_."

"I won't, I promise," Beca stated softly, sitting on the doorstep next to her while leaving a respectable space between them. "You need to stay awake though, okay? You can sleep once you're safely at home."

"Mmkay," she replied as a chill went down from the base of her neck to her tailbone, making her shudder and wrap her arms tighter around herself. "I'm cold, Bec."

She didn't know where that nickname came from, but if felt natural on her tongue. She closed her eyes and heard a zipper, before something heavy and warm was laid on her back and wrapped around her shoulders.

Chloe turned on instinct towards Beca's open arms, seeking for more heat as she molded against Beca's side. She felt the shorter woman tense against her, but then an arm came around her to loosely snake itself around her back, and Chloe let out a sigh.

The added warmth didn't prevent her from shaking, though. Out of cold, fright or muscle spasms, she couldn't be sure.

"Jazz," she heard Beca call and felt a small tap against her thigh. "Up."

She startled at the added weight in her lap, but relaxed once she realized it was Beca's dog, shuffling until he was rolled onto a ball against her, providing Chloe with extra warmth.

She threaded her fingers through his fur and rested her head against Beca's shoulder.

"You called me your friend," she whispered after a while, lifting her head to try and meet Beca's eyes. "Earlier."

"Dammit, I was hoping you had forgotten about that."

The light teasing tone in Beca's voice made Chloe laugh.

"Not a chance."

"What can I say?" Beca mused, "Maybe it's just hard not to be friends with you."

"Told ya," Chloe slurred, smiling lopsidedly. She gave in to a shiver and felt the hold around her tighten, as well as a palm producing friction up and down her rigid back. "I finished your book."

"You did, huh?" Chloe nodded sleepily, falling farther into the embrace provided by Beca. "Did you like it?"

Chloe hummed. " 'Twas good."

The roaring of a car stopping along the curb broke the moment, and Chloe felt the dog flee from her lap as Beca stood, gently pulling her up.

"Hey," Chloe saw Tom's worried face and gave him a reassuring smile. He pulled her into his arms, squeezing her tightly. She heard him sigh in relief and felt his lips in her hair. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Chloe breathed out and turned to Beca once Tom had released her. "Can I hug you?"

Beca's expression changed to one of uncertainty and surprise, but she eventually nodded, averting her eyes to the ground. Chloe wrapped her arms around her loosely, shortly, too shortly for her liking. Her heart was still craving for more when she let go, and there was a distinctive tingle in her limbs to reach out fore more but she refrained; she didn't want to overstep Beca's boundaries.

Small steps.

"Thank you."

Beca squeezed her arms as she let go.

"No sweat, Red."

* * *

Chloe woke up five hours later with a startle. She shot up in bed, drenched in sweat, and barely made it to the toilet across the hall to vomit.

"Dammit," she mumbled, letting her forehead rest against the ceramic bowl to cool down.

This didn't feel like the normal hangover after one too many drinks. Her limbs felt incredibly wobbly and out of strength, and her head was swimming in unwavering fog.

Once she was sure she could walk to the kitchen uninterrupted by her unstable stomach, she made the short distance and sipped at a glass of water.

The clock indicated her it was only six A.M., so she turned back in an attempt to go back to bed. An unfamiliar red and navy blue heap draped onto the back of the couch caught her eyes as she walked by it. She faltered and gripped it between her hands.

It was a hand crocheted blanket, and upon running her fingers over the material, Chloe remembered having it around her shoulders last night.

As she was about to drop the blanket back over the couch, a lettering caught her eye.

_BM_

Chloe heard and felt the gasp leave her lips as bits and pieces of what occurred formed a puzzle, shifting in her mind until it was complete, and she could remember close to every detail.

Wrapping the blankets around her shoulders, Chloe padded back down the hall and stopped by Tom's door when she saw light fluttering from beneath the doorway. She knocked softly and waited for his approval before coming in.

"Hi," she greeted quietly, shuffling to his bed and laying down next to him. He lowered the sound of the TV and opened his arms, letting Chloe rest against his side.

"How are you feeling?"

"Besides the headache and nausea, I feel fine."

She felt his lips on her forehead briefly.

"You kinda scared me."

"Sorry," Chloe admitted sheepishly, looking up at him. "To be honest, I kind of scared myself too."

"It was a good thing this Beca girl happened to be there at the right time."

"Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how to find her and thank her," she sighed, rolling the edge of the blanket between her forefinger and thumb. "And give her this back. She probably needs it more than I do now."

"Have you seen the weather?" Tom asked her, both eyebrows raised.

"What?" Chloe replied in confusion. "No."

Tom climbed off the bed and pulled the curtains back. It was still mostly dark out, but Chloe's eyes could make out the white covered buildings and the heavy snow still falling from the sky. Only then did she pay attention to the news on the TV. She shot up in the bed, blinking at the screen as she read the title.

NEW YORK CITY HIT BY MAJOR SNOW STORM

The breaking news made Chloe's head swim dangerously, and she thought for a second she might throw up again. All her thoughts flew to Beca, where she might be and if she was safe.

She looked down at the knitting laid on her shoulders and screwed her eyes shut.

She needed to find Beca.

Or she needed to be somewhere where Beca could find her.

"I need to get the hospital."

"What?" Tom asked skeptically, hands set on his hips. "You're not on shift."

"I know," Chloe said as she stood and looked around for her stuff, before realizing she wasn't even in her own room. "But that's the only place Beca knows where to find me."

She threw the door open and crossed the hall to her own bedroom, Tom hot on her steps.

"You can't be _serious_!" he exclaimed in astonishment.

Chloe threw her t-shirt over her head, not caring that Tom was in the same room while she was topless. They had seen each other's junks more times they could count. She grabbed a bra and hooked it around her chest, slipping her arms through the straps.

"Dead serious."

She shrugged on a long-sleeved shirt and an oversized sweater.

"You can't work in your state. Your drink was _spiked_ , Chloe. I don't think you're in condition to treat people."

"Dammit," she muttered under her breath, bringing a shaking hand to her forehead. He was right. She probably still had drugs in her system that could alter her judgement or her physical capacities. "You're right."

She shook her head to try and clear the thoughts from her foggy mind.

"I-I still need to go down there. What if she needs my help and I'm not there?" Chloe wondered aloud, voice wavering at the prospect of Beca needing her. "She saved me yesterday, Tom. I could have been raped- I could have-"

"Hey, hey," Tom said gently, closing the distance between them to wrap his arms around her. "Breathe, sweetie."

Instead of breathing, Chloe let out a sob and crumpled against his chest.

"I can't bear letting anything happen to her I-" she stopped herself mid-sentence, long enough to draw in a huge gush of air into her lungs. "She's too important to me."

"I know," Tom's lips pressed a kiss to her forehead, his hold tightening around her body. "I know."

Chloe eventually pulled away and wiped her face clean of tears, trying to collect herself. Breaking down was certainly not helping Beca.

"I'll drive you to the hospital on my way to work, okay?" Tom offered, squeezing her hands. "Hopefully the main roads have been plowed by now."

Chloe nodded and let out a puff of breath.

"Okay."

Chloe spent the entire day at the hospital, jumping here and there on minor cases once she felt energetic enough. The oncoming blizzard had already made many victims.

As eleven P.M. sounded, Chloe's eyes were battling to stay awake. She pushed herself to her feet and walked to the reception desk.

"Hey Amy," Chloe called out gently. "I'm off to sleep in the on-call room number five. I'm waiting for someone that might come here. She's a woman about this height," she indicated with a hand at her eyes level, "brunette, with grey eyes and a red New York Yankees cap. She has a border collie dog. If you see her, come wake me up, yeah?"

"You got it Dr. Beale," Amy said with a military salute. "Now go and have some rest."

"Yeah, I'll try."

* * *

Sleep never came.

Chloe made it through another shift, eyes always somehow trained on the doors, hoping to see the brunette walk through them.

The storm lasted four days. Chloe went to work every day, arriving early and lagging behind well after her shifts. She checked her phone constantly, desperately hoping to see a text or a missed call from an unknown number.

At the end of her last shift of the week, Chloe walked into the staff room with a heavy sigh, dragging her feet to her locker, exhausted and heavy-hearted.

"What's up with you?" Stacie commented upon seeing her. The tall brunette was just starting her shift. Chloe sat on the bench, letting her hands drop by her sides. She twisted her head toward the window.

"The storm stopped?"

Stacie looked at her quizzically. "Yeah, like an hour ago. Are you sure you're okay?"

Chloe shot to her feet, fatigue and sleepiness forgotten as she pulled her locker door open.

"I have to go."

She didn't bother taking her scrubs off. Throwing her lab coat into a ball at the bottom of her locker, she then grabbed her coat, Beca's blanket and her bag, shouting a hurried goodbye at Stacie as she left the room.

She got into a cab to get to the street corner between Hancock Street and Tompkins Avenue, hoping, praying for Beca to be there.


	7. Chapter 7

As Chloe stepped out of the car, she felt a huge gush of air leave her lungs in relief. Beca was there, a hundred yards from her, huddled in a coat and a beanie as she sat on the ground.

Chloe jogged to her, careful not to slip on the mix of mud and icy snow now covering the sidewalks.

"Beca!"

The brunette turned her head at the motion of her name, and gave Chloe a sleepy smile as she got to her level. Jazz was curled up in her lap, clad in a dog blanket.

Chloe crouched down in front of Beca and cupped her face gently with both hands, not really caring about boundaries as she assessed Beca's current state. "Are you okay? I was worried about you, with the storm and-"

Beca brought her hand up, palm curling around Chloe's wrist. Her touch was freezing cold on Chloe's skin and her fingers were tinted yellow.

"I'm okay, R-Red."

But given the chattering of her teeth and the drowsiness of her eyes, Chloe knew Beca was far from okay. Chloe took one of her mittens off with her teeth and grabbed Beca's hand, pressing two fingers to her wrist. Her pulse was faint and slow, while Chloe's picked up with worry.

She wasn't sure if Beca was suffering from slight hypothermia or was just high. Or both.

Either way, she couldn't -and _wouldn't_ \- leave Beca in the middle of the street when temperatures barely reached 10 degrees.

"You're _not_ fine," she told Beca with a slight scold. Grabbing Beca's blanket from her own bag, she wrapped it tightly around her shoulders. "We need to warm you up."

Chloe got up, hailed another cab, thankfully finding one under a minute, and turned back to Beca to help her up.

"Where we goin'?" Beca slurred, a shiver visibly running the entire length of her body.

"Someplace warm," Chloe replied, and to her surprise, Beca didn't give any objection, verbal or physical, when Chloe gathered her into her arms, and helped her to the cab.

She grabbed Beca's guitar case and backpack off the sidewalk and climbed in after making sure Jazz was in too, shutting the door behind her and giving the driver her address.

The cab ride was short, but still long enough for Beca to slump against Chloe in light slumber. Chloe kept her arms around her once they were out of the vehicle, up the stairs and through the door of her apartment.

She guided the brunette down the hall, and opened the door, letting her through first. Rummaging through the cupboard underneath the sinks, Chloe pulled out a couple of fresh towels while the brunette sat on the edge of the toilet seat.

She was trying and struggling to take off her coat because of her cold fingers. Chewing on her bottom lip, Chloe moved to turn on the shower to warm up the room and shut the door, before moving to crouch down in front of Beca.

"I'll-I'll help you."

After peeling off her own coat and tossing it to the side, Chloe gently pried Beca's hands away from the buttons of hers and undid them for her one by one, slipping the garment off Beca's shoulders a second later.

She helped Beca lift her arms above her head and pulled off her sweater too. Beca's arms resumed to their position around herself immediately as she still shook from the leftover cold, even though the bathroom was gradually filling with steam and turning into a sauna. Sweat was starting to gather on Chloe's forehead from the heat.

Next, she bent down to undo the buckles of Beca's biker boots. She struggled with it and imagined Beca would have never been able to do it with her numb hands.

"Bec, can I take off your jeans?" Upon Beca's nod, Chloe straightened on her knees and undid Beca's belt buckle, before slipping the garment past Beca's hips and rolling them down her thighs. "Okay, just your shirt and I'm done."

She grabbed the hem of Beca's shirt, and prompted the brunette into lifting her arms once more to make the task easier. Once the brunette only sat in her bra and underwear, Chloe averted her eyes, but still caught a series of bruises, old and new, marring her stomach and track marks covering the inside of her elbows.

Chloe couldn't ignore the fact that Beca looked even skinnier than the first time she saw her in the hospital two months ago and looked so small now that her body was rid of its layers of clothing.

She grabbed a fluffy towel and wrapped it around Beca's upper body, rubbing her hands up and down the shorter woman's back and arm to bring back some warmth. She knew pulling her under the shower could result into shock if Beca's body temperature wasn't back to normal first.

After several minutes of stimulation to increase blood flow, and checking the water wasn't scalding hot, Chloe helped Beca up and kept her arm around her back, only letting go once she was under the shower spray. Beca staggered, making Chloe get in behind her to catch her without so much as a second thought.

"Okay, it's okay," she told Beca, keeping a gentle hold around her waist as they stood together under the spray. Beca whimpered, eyes slipping close. Her shield had completely vanished. She trusted Chloe, and that fact caught the redhead off guard. "I've got you."

Beca was still shivering and seeking warmth, snuggling as close to Chloe as she possibly could. Chloe's thoughts on her condition were insistent. This wasn't just the aftermath of staying in the cold too long, but also the consequences of heroin use added to starvation.

She took her time, once Beca was able to stand without her support, to wash her with a soapy sponge and shampoo her hair. She tried not to think too much about how intimate the entire act felt, instead choosing to focus on the task as she would as a doctor.

Clothes sticking to her body, Chloe got out of the Italian shower momentarily to grab the towels, and wrapped Beca in a big, fluffy white one, rubbing her hands up and down Beca's arms and back to create some friction and warm her up faster.

She gently guided Beca to sit back on the toilet seat, and eyed the heap of wet clothing on the floor.

"I'll be right back."

Chloe walked to her room and grabbed her old burgundy Harvard Medical School sweatshirt from her bottom drawer, along with some sweatpants and a plain T shirt. She helped Beca dry off and stopped at the sight of her soaked bra and underwear.

"Beca? We need to take your underwear off so you don't catch a cold. I'll turn around."

The brunette was barely responding, back slumping against the back of the toilet and lids steadily dropping under the weight of exhaustion. Chloe chewed on her bottom lip and eventually sighed, deciding that it was best she did it herself. She unhooked Beca's bra and proceeded to pull a shirt over Beca's head, with much difficulty given the shorter woman's increasingly passive state.

With another beat of hesitation, Chloe laid a towel across Beca's lap for a semblance of privacy, and slid the underwear down Beca's legs. She pulled the sweatpants up as fast as possible, lifting Beca slightly to be able to pull them past her hips.

"Okay, almost done."

After struggling to pull the hoodie over Beca's head, Chloe noticed that the woman had fallen asleep on her.

"You're not making this easy, are you?" She spoke to herself, slipping an arm underneath Beca's knees while the other one maintained her back. Lifting Beca turned out to be easier than Chloe had anticipated; she was stunned and heavily concerned by the lightness of Beca in her arms.

After lying her down on her own bed for lack of a guest room, Chloe pulled the covers over Beca's small body and tucked them in. She bent down to kiss Beca's forehead, mainly to check that the brunette wasn't experiencing any fever, but also because it felt like a natural thing to do.

Leaving the door open just a tad in case the younger woman needed her, Chloe took a proper shower herself, and dressed in some baggy clothes.

"Good boy," she told Jazz and patted his head as she walked back into the living room. The dog's tail waggled, and he followed her everywhere while she tended to small things such as putting the washing machine on and tidying the house a little bit.

She had just checked on Beca, who was still sound asleep, and settled in the couch to watch whatever dumb reality show was on, when the front door opened, and Tom strode in.

"Hey," he said, bending down to press a quick kiss to Chloe's forehead. He quickly noted the dog's presence by Chloe's feet. "I take it you found Beca?"

"Yeah," Chloe replied, lowering the sound from the TV as Tom sat next to her. "She's sleeping in my room. She was exhausted, Tom. Like she hadn't slept in days, since the blizzard started."

Tom nodded, resting his forearms against his thighs and folding his hands. His eyes flit to the window, where the storm had resumed. "Well, she should stay here. We don't have a guest bedroom but I'm pretty sure the couch is still the better alternative than the streets."

"Are you positive about this? Like, you wouldn't mind?" Chloe asked hopefully.

Of course it had crossed her mind to offer Beca to stay, but she needed Tom's avail first.

"Well, as long as she doesn't steal anything."

It was meant as a joke but instead made Chloe realize that she couldn't really answer, because she had witnessed Beca stealing before. She didn't know how far the brunette would go to be able to afford drugs. Chloe chewed on her bottom lip. "I'll talk to her about it."

"You okay?" Tom asked, placing a hand over her knee. Chloe snuggled into his side and sighed, absentmindedly watching the Kardashian sisters argue.

"I'm better now," she replied in a small voice while playing with the hem of pullover. "I got really worried though. I really think she was close to hypothermia when I found her. She said she was okay but…"

"You really care about her, huh?"

"I do," Chloe looked down and began picking at a loose skin on the side of her thumbnail. "But she doesn't want me to. She's guarded, mistrustful and still believes that the things I do for her are charity."

Tom hummed. "Is there a chance you… might like her as more than friends?"

"I-" Chloe cut herself off and sighed. While Tom had teased her about it a couple times already, she knew he was being serious this time. "I don't know. Maybe? It's stupid, right? It's just… she comes on all tough but she's actually a beautiful person."

It felt weird to Chloe, admitting out loud that she liked Beca. She had tried to tame her feelings all this time, thinking that it would pass, but witnessing Beca in such a state had been a true eye-opener. She cared more for Beca than she would a simple friend.

"It's not stupid," Tom assured her, squeezing her shoulder. "I think there are less complicated people out there to fall for, but the heart has its own reasons."

"Yeah."

Tom didn't push for more information, and Chloe was glad. Her brain felt mushy, assaulted by all the questions and doubts currently prying their way inside her head.

"I'll order some pizza," he announced, rising from the couch. He stopped in his tracks, eyes cast down toward Beca's dog, before turning to Chloe. "And get dog food down the street?"

"Oh, right. You don't mind? I'm gonna go check on Beca."

"You do that."

When Tom left, Chloe pushed herself to her feet and walked down the hall towards her room, smiling when she heard the tiptoes of Beca's dog trailing behind. She gently pushed the door open and poked her head in, stepping in when she saw Beca was still sound asleep.

Upon seeing his owner, Jazz hopped onto the bed and curled next to Beca's body without an ounce of hesitation.

"Oh, alright then." Chloe laughed, trying not to wince at the fact that her comforter would be covered in dog hair soon. She sat on the side of the bed and rested the back of her hand to Beca's forehead, which was still cool to the touch.

The brunette stirred, blinking sleepily at her. She looked alarmed for a bit, not recognizing her surroundings but seemed too out of strength to move properly.

"You're okay," Chloe whispered, rubbing Beca's shoulder. "You're in my room. Jazz is here too, he's okay. I found you in the street this morning and you were almost in hypothermia so I brought you back here."

"I remember."

Beca's voice was hoarse, and her body slumped back against the mattress.

Chloe's hand traveled down Beca's arm and she set it on her wrist to make sure her pulse was strong. Satisfied with its pace, she glanced at Beca. "Are you warm enough? Do you want something to drink? Or eat?"

Beca's head shook against the pillow. Chloe could tell she was still out of it. Her guard was definitely down, much like earlier in the shower.

"I'm just sleepy."

"Yeah, that's normal. I'll let you sleep. Call me if you need anything. The bathroom is just across the hall."

Chloe stood up and walked to the door, stopping when she heard Beca call her name quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

* * *

Beca ended up sleeping for the rest of the evening, and Chloe eventually crashed in Tom's bed for the night. It was around eleven the next day when Beca finally got up, padding sleepily down the hall while Chloe took care of some bills she hadn't had the time to take care of because of work.

"Feeling better?" the redhead asked brightly, grabbing a second mug off the shelf.

"Yeah, thanks."

She watched as Beca hesitantly shuffled into the kitchen and crouched down to hug her dog.

"I took him out for a walk this morning. He was whining, and I didn't want him to wake you up."

"Thanks," Beca repeated, and Chloe waved her off lightly.

"No biggie. I like him."

Beca eventually stood up, burying her hands into the front pocket of Chloe's hoodie. Chloe briefly thought about how nice her sweater looked on Beca's frame. She also paused on Beca's features, who looked more rested than Chloe had ever seen her before. Her dark hair ran straight, partly tucked underneath her sweater and her face was void of any of the dark makeup she usually wore. It make her look younger somehow; more innocent and vulnerable.

"I think he likes you, too."

Chloe beamed at that, and poured Beca a steaming cup of coffee, sliding it to her across the table.

"I'm sorry about sleeping for so long," Beca admitted after taking a sip, cradling her mug in both hands. "I feel like I'm abusing your kindness. I just… I didn't expect it to turn so cold and it took a toll on me. I was outside since yesterday morning because I uh, I didn't have enough money for food."

"Oh!" Chloe exclaimed, hitting herself on the forehead with base of her hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't offer any food. I have toast or I can make some eggs or I can go down the street to-"

"Chloe," Beca interrupted with a small smile. "Some toast would be good."

Chloe quickly worked on getting some bread from the freezer and putting it in the toaster. She took out some butter and jam, before sliding all items in front of Beca, along with a knife. Beca mumbled a thanks and started to eat.

"You should have called me," Chloe said with a sigh. "I told you you could always come to me if you needed help. That's what friends are for, right?"

"Yeah, I guess I'm still working on this 'having friends' thing," Beca said with a sheepish shrug, tucking a wisp of her hair behind her ear. "I… I didn't have enough coins to make a call and my phone was stolen the other day."

Chloe closed her eyes briefly. It seemed like Beca's karma had given up on her a long time ago.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Beca nodded, though with the same wary expression she got whenever Chloe was curious.

"Have you been outside this whole time? You don't seek refuge in shelters with this weather?"

"Promise me you won't tell Tom on me?" Chloe raised an eyebrow, but nodded. Beca hesitated for a beat before speaking. "I spent most nights inside a church. I know I'm not supposed to and I'm not-I'm not proud of it but I don't like shelters. Rough past experiences."

She didn't say more, and Chloe didn't push it.

"I won't-" Beca stopped, shutting her eyes before resuming. "I'll be out of your hair soon."

"To go back to sleeping in a church and starving for food?" Chloe asked skeptically. She looked out through the bay window. "This blizzard is not about to let on. I think you should stay here until the storm passes."

Beca's eyes shot to her.

"That could be days from now…"

Chloe raised an eyebrow, lifting her shoulder in a shrug.

"So?"

"I can't stay that long."

"Why not?" Chloe pressed, a sigh escaping her lips. "Do you have another city to travel to?"

Beca bit on her bottom lip, gaze moving from Chloe's to the window with an unreadable expression.

"No."

A warm smile slipped on Chloe's lips.

"Then stay," she murmured with a convincing look. "I can only offer the couch but…"

"Are you sure?" Beca asked, transferring her weight from foot to foot back and forth. "You've already done a lot and-"

"I'm totes sure," Chloe interrupted before Beca could list off other excuses not to stay. "Besides, I think you're forgetting you kinda saved me the other day. The least I can do is offer you a place to stay in this kind of weather," she said, looking down to see Jazz asleep by her feet. "And I think your dog, here, has made himself at home."

Beca laughed, eyes moving down as well.

"That's true," she swallowed her bite and smiled warmly. "Thank you, I appreciate it. Like, more than you can imagine."

Chloe winked at her good-naturedly. "Don't mention it. I have the next two days off so I hope you won't mind my company too much."

" _Well_ , had I known that beforehand, maybe I wouldn't have said yes."

Beca's sarcastic comment made Chloe's jaw drop in mock-offense. She couldn't hold the expression long, though, and finally broke out into a laugh. Beca joined too, and the only thing Chloe could think about was that it really was going to be a nice couple of days.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments! Means a lot. Hope you like this one, it was interesting to change it a bit and write from Beca's perspective.

Eyes moving to the window, Beca was glad she decided to stay. The storm had definitely picked up in intensity over the last hour. An hour she spent snuggled up on the couch watching a movie. She didn't have the heart to tell Chloe she wasn't really a movie buff, because her new friend (she still had to wrap her head around the fact that she had a friend) looked overly excited to see this new movie.

And making Chloe sad was like kicking a puppy, Beca had found.

She couldn't quite believe how the cheery woman currently sitting next to her had managed to worm her way into Beca's life the way she did. She had smashed the walls Beca had steadily built around herself and did things to Beca's mind and body that felt foreign for it had been such a long time since she had felt this way.

Giddy, warm all over and at peace whenever Chloe was around.

Beca smiled absentmindedly, gaze jumping from the window to Chloe. To her surprise, the redhead was fast asleep by the other end of the couch, knees curled up to her chest with both hands tucked under her cheek. Beca grabbed the blanket that was draped over the back of the leather couch and laid it over Chloe's body.

She paused the movie and stood up to grab her guitar case which had been tucked in the corner next to the TV. Pulling her guitar out, she sat down on the bench by the edge of the window. Jazz followed her and rolled on a ball on the floor by her feet.

She spent a minute tuning it in and strummed the chords one by one, in no particular tune, simply enjoying the way the chords felt under her fingers. Looking back at Chloe's sleeping form, Beca felt inspiration starting to strike.

Retrieving her notebook from her backpack along with a pencil, Beca sat back on the bench and folded her legs at the knees, placing the notebook on top of her thighs. She started to dot down a few ideas, trying them out on her guitar as she went.

"Whatcha doing?"

Beca jumped slightly, eyes flying to the source of the voice. Chloe was sitting up, lazily rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Beca felt her breathing itch slightly as she took in the scene before her. Chloe's hair was a bit wild and disheveled, until she tamed it down lightly, though it didn't help much. Her sweater had twisted during her nap and hung off one shoulder, revealing a fair bit of skin.

Beca averted her eyes when she caught herself staring and tried to ignore how it stirred something deep within her. "Um, just writing down some ideas."

"You write songs?" Chloe asked as she padded to Beca's spot and sat in front of her, leaving a considerable distance between them.

She didn't try to look at what Beca was writing and the brunette was glad for that. She liked how the redhead respected her privacy, even though it showed in her features and body language that she was fighting off curiosity.

"Yeah."

"The one you played in the street when we saw each other again, that was an original?"

Beca hummed in the affirmative, watching in amusement as Chloe's eyes widened.

"You're very talented."

As always whenever she got compliments (which, she had to admit, didn't happen every other day), Beca flushed, tugged her hair so it was neatly tucked behind her ears, and avoided eye-contact.

"I don't know," Beca modestly replied.

"Can you play it for me?" Chloe requested with a light smile, the hopeful expression in her twinkling eyes made it impossible for Beca to say no.

"Um, yeah, I guess."

So Beca played. She played every song she had ever written in the last eight years to Chloe, even her most personal ones, the ones she had never played in the street before. It felt natural and comforting to have Chloe listen to her play in the privacy of her apartment, eyes slipping shut and head bobbing faintly to the rhythm.

It felt… intimate, somehow. And somehow, Beca was okay with that.

Beca looked up in surprise when Chloe joined into the second chorus of the last song in Beca's registry. The soft, almost angelic voice made her skip one of the chords in her arpeggio, which made her blush while Chloe giggled.

"You have a nice voice," Beca complimented after she finished, laying the guitar on the floor by her feet.

"Thanks! I was actually in an a cappella group in college."

"A Cappella?" Beca asked skeptically. "That's a thing?"

"Of course!" Chloe chirpily exclaimed with a warm smile. "We never won the national championships but weren't too bad."

"There are A Cappella national championships? Yikes," Beca commented with both eyebrows raised, laughing as Chloe's jaw dropped. "I mean, it must be something."

Chloe's eyes narrowed dangerously and Beca's smirk only widened. "You're walking on thin ice, there, Beca."

"I'm sorry," Beca said, biting down on her bottom lip to hold her chuckle in. "Do you have any videos?"

"To have you make fun of me? Definitely not."

"So you do, then," Beca assessed, cocking an eyebrow while observing Chloe's sheepish expression. "You know you want to show them to me. I promise I won't make _too_ much fun of you guys."

Chloe pursed her lips and wiggled them in thought.

"Fine."

The redhead stood and beckoned Beca back to the couch. They both sat down, much closer than before, while Chloe reached forward to retrieve her laptop from the coffee table. She opened a Youtube page, typed in something in the search bar and scrolled down until she found the video she was looking for.

Beca tried to ignore the surge of warmth that washed through her entire body as she and Chloe sat close, shoulders pressed against each other's.

"Cute outfit," Beca observed as soon as the video started. "You would make a good flight attendant."

Chloe's glare made her clamp her mouth shut, though it was by biting hard on the inside of her cheek that Beca managed not to snicker during the whole video. Chloe's adorableness made up for the crappy song arrangement, though, and still made it worth watching.

Beca caught up with her train of thought and frowned. She realized then that she hadn't taken her eyes off Chloe for the entire video, even whenever she wasn't the main singer.

"We were kinda lame," Chloe admitted with a frown when the video ended. "I guess I was too sucked in back then to realize that."

"I mean…" Beca trailed off, wondering how far she could push Chloe's buttons without making her really mad. She did like the friendly banter, though. "If the songs were a bit more from our time, I think it would have helped."

"Yeah, I guess so," Chloe replied thoughtfully. "Anyway, being a part of the Bellas was the highlight of my college years. That's how I met Stacie and Aubrey, my two closest friends. Well, apart from Tom."

"You and Tom met in college, too?"

"No, he's actually a childhood friend. We grew up in the same neighborhood and went to the same middle school and high school back in Atlanta. He got into the police academy here in New York around the same time I got into Harvard, so we decided to move in together."

Beca hummed.

"And who's Aubrey?"

"The blonde one," Chloe pointed to the frozen Youtube screen to show Beca who she was. "Hopefully you'll get to meet her soon."

"You want me to meet your friends?" Beca asked in surprise and slight skepticism. She didn't feel like she was a _'meet my friends'_ material.

Chloe frowned, putting the computer away. She turned so she sat sideways in the couch, Beca mirroring her moments a second later, folding her legs onto the couch Indian style.

"Why wouldn't I?"

Beca shrugged, looking down at her body, as if the action was a good enough explanation to Chloe's question.

"I remember someone telling me not too long ago that beauty came in many forms," Chloe began, and Beca rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "I don't care if the clothes you wear aren't fancy or anything else that might make you self-conscious. And I know my friends won't care either, otherwise they wouldn't have that title, trust me. Besides, I think you're cute."

Chloe added a wink for good measure, and Beca felt that strange pull in her stomach again, except it was much stronger this time and difficult to ignore.

"Cute?" Beca cleared her throat when her voice squeaked. Her reputation was certainly taking a blow. "Um thanks? I guess."

Chloe hummed.

"Anytime."

Beca averted her eyes quickly after that. Chloe was so close in her personal space, and while she didn't feel uncomfortable about it (more like the opposite), she didn't trust herself to be able to resist the sudden urge to kiss Chloe. An urge that had taken her body captive and steadily grew with each second that ticked by.

She couldn't _-wouldn't-_ do that to Chloe. Beca wasn't relationship material and would probably never be. She didn't have any steadiness in her life, nor was she seeking any. The only thing she was committed to, was drugs. They were the only thing that never let her down.

"You have a nice book collection," Beca took the opportunity to change the subject, jerking her chin toward the shelves tucked in the corner of the room.

"Yeah, um…" Chloe chuckled lightly, following Beca's line of gaze. "I'm one of those people who adores spending time in book-shops and buys plenty of books but never gets around to reading them."

"Can I take a look?" Beca asked, fingers already tingling in anticipation of feeling the smooth paper.

"Of course! Knock yourself out."

Beca stood and padded to the mini-library, taking a seat on the carpeted floor to look at the lowest row. She pulled each book one by one and read its description before tucking it back to its rightful spot. She saw Chloe stand in the corner of her eye and soon the redhead was sat next to her.

"If there's one or several you like, I can lend them to you," Chloe said softly. Beca paused with a book in her hand. "I'd rather they be enjoyed by someone than stay here collecting dust."

"Thanks," Beca replied fondly, and placed the book she had just read the description for by her thigh. She reached for a familiar cover on the second shelf and ran a hand over the cover of _Oh, The Places You'll Go_ by Dr. Seuss. "I used to love this one."

Hesitating for a beat, she eventually opened it and flipped the pages until she got to her favorite quote.

"You're off to Great Places!  
Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, so... get on your way!"

Clearing her throat, Beca battled against an onslaught of tears threatening to break through. That drawer in her brain she had desperately meant to keep shut to anyone else other than Benji had opened, and memories began to flood her mind.

"My mom used to say that line to me all the time."

A few tears spilled down her cheek and Beca cursed under her breath, hastily reaching up to wipe them away. She knew that book might be a trigger to past memories but had reached for it anyway. It was dumb to think her tears had been unnoticed, as Chloe's eyes were already on her.

"Beca," she murmured, laying a hand on Beca's wrist. She squeezed it gently and looked at Beca with such soft eyes that Beca could feel her resolve crumbling. Her thumb moved in gentle circles over Beca's pulse point. "Your mom is not with us anymore, is she?"

Beca cast her eyes down to her lap, chewing on the inside of her cheek to try and keep it together.

"No."

She could have stopped there. The only person she told the story to was Benji, and she swore to herself he would remain the only one. Her past made her weak and vulnerable, and she didn't want to feel that way _ever_ again.

But _Chloe_ , she had a way of making Beca want to spill her life story to her. Beca knew that if she started it, there was no going back.

"She um, she was killed when I was eighteen," she started, inhaling through her nose and exhaling slowly through gritted teeth. "My grandpa had this drug store in Bronx and he left it to my mom when he retired. My family wasn't that rich, and my mom had been out of a job for a few years, so she helped my grandpa with his shop until his retirement. When he stopped working, I would help my mom run it after school."

She blinked to clear her vision, mentally preparing herself for the onslaught of emotions that would soon unravel in her chest.

"It was a bit after nine when it happened. I was doing the inventory in the back when I heard the bell over the door. I stayed in the back because I knew my mom was at the desk. I heard some deep voices and then my mom started shouting and I-" Beca stopped abruptly, a sob worming its way out of her mouth.

"You don't have to go on if it's too hard," Chloe told her softly, running a hand up and down her arm.

Beca shook her head and resumed. It suddenly felt like she needed to tell the story in its entirety or she would break from the amount of pain pressing on her shoulders.

"I was about to go back to the main area of the store when I heard a gunshot and I froze. I-I couldn't keep walking, my legs were just not _working_ anymore. I don't know how long I stayed there but… when I finally got myself together, the door was still flapping, the cash register was empty, and my mom laid in-in a puddle of blood on the floor."

Beca registered Chloe's gasp and the way the redhead placed her hand over her mouth in shock. But she couldn't stop to dwell on that, she _had_ to keep going. The images unleashing inside her mind were suffocating, she _had_ to get them out.

"I called 911 and tried to give her CPR but she wasn't responding. I think…" Beca inhaled sharply, for the words she was about to say had never got easier over the years. "I think she was already dead. The police came with the ambulance, and they placed her body inside a bag. I couldn't stop crying. There was a cop trying to comfort me but it was useless. His partner looked… shocked and wouldn't move from the doorway. His eyes were stuck on the blood," She pauses to lock eyes with Chloe. "I remember his face too well."

Beca watched realization dawn onto her eye before she had even said the words.

"It was Tom."

"Oh god," Chloe paused to swallow, letting go of Beca's hand to rest it flat on her forehead. Her face had become paler. "I remember him coming home after one of his first shifts. He said something about an armed robbery in the Bronx. He was in shock and I remember being very concerned for him. Was that- Could it be the same thing?"

"It was in 2012, eight years ago. They never caught them." Chloe nodded, seemingly at loss for words. Beca kept going; she couldn't stop. "My grandpa passed away shortly after. I guess he never recovered from his daughter being killed. I dropped out of school before graduating and quickly found some friends in the street. That's where I met Benji and when I started trying drugs. Marijuana first, some cocaine, but heroin was the only thing that made me forget about the pain." Beca cleared her throat and took a recess. "Music kept afloat for a while, but it only lasted so much time before the dependency took over."

Beca paused, allowing the information to settle with Chloe, aware that it was a lot to take in.

"I'm so sorry, Beca," she eventually whispered, eyes misty as they locked on Beca. "I wish there was more I could say to make you feel better but somehow I don't think there is. I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling right now."

Beca stared at the floor as images from that day slowly faded away.

"Sometimes I wonder if things would have turned out differently if I had kept moving, if I had come back into the store in time to stop them. In time to tell my mom I loved her."

"She knew," Chloe said instantly, her thumb running over the inside of Beca's wrist in a soothing manner. "Our parents know, even if we don't tell them all the time."

Beca nodded and swiped both hands over her face to make sure no more tears were running. "I'm alright. It was a long time ago."

"Doesn't make it less painful, though," Chloe shuffled closer and tilted her head to the side. "I'm gonna hug you now, okay?"

Beca let out a watery chuckle because of course, Chloe felt the need to warn her. She nodded and immediately sunk into the arms wrapped around her frame, quickly relishing the sense of warmth and safety it brought her. The show of affection also brought forth another wave of sadness and the tears were back full force as she finally gave in to the excruciating pain she had been carrying around for years now.

The pain that had been numbed by drugs all this time. The fact that Beca hadn't taken any in the last twenty-four hours heightened that pain. But having Chloe comfort her made it more bearable, somehow.

Beca felt Chloe drop a kiss to her hair and snuggled up closer, it that was even possible given their already close proximity. She didn't know when Chloe started to sing, but it eventually managed to soothe Beca and put an end to her meltdown. She eventually backed away, glancing at Chloe briefly before looking down at her hands in embarrassment.

"Thank you for telling me," Chloe offered with a small smile, blue eyes gentle as they gazed at Beca. "I know it wasn't easy."

"Somehow, it felt kind of good to me, too? To, um, talk about it to someone else."

"I get it. No one should carry that much of pain on their own shoulders."

Beca gave her a faint nod.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Do you want to keep looking at the books or should we finish the movie?"

"I, uh, I actually don't like movies that much."

"You don't?" Chloe asked, eyebrow quirking in surprise. "Why did you agree to watch this, then?"

Beca blushed lightly.

"Because you looked excited and I didn't want to burst that bubble."

"So you're just a big softie then. Is that what I should make out of this?"

"I'm not-" Beca huffed in playful annoyance. "You're breaking my façade, with that cute smile and puppy dog eyes."

Said smile only widened to show pearly white teeth and dimples, and Beca could once again feel Chloe worm her way past her shield.

"Did you just call me cute?" Chloe asked, leaning forward slightly. Beca inhaled sharply, eyes flicking down to Chloe's lips on their own accord.

"No, I said your _smile_ was cute."

Chloe narrowed her eyes yet again, and Beca could feel herself being consumed by the insisting gaze on her. Thankfully, Chloe pulled away before Beca could give in and close the gap between them.

" _Sure_."

The front door opening and closing broke them both out of the moment and footsteps were heard down the hall until Tom materialized around the corner carrying a few plastic bags.

"Hey," he greeted them both and Chloe glanced at Beca one last time before standing up and greeting her best friend back with a kiss to the cheek. Beca waved, suddenly feeling very out of place in Chloe's home, like she was invading her personal life. The fact that seeing Tom brought back so many memories didn't help, either, even though it was anything but his fault.

The three of them had dinner -the Chinese takeout Tom brought back- and watched some show on the television that Beca couldn't pay attention to more than two seconds, her body gradually reacting to the lack of heroin. Her skin was starting to itch, and she could feel beads of cold sweat sliding down her back as she felt her focus fade away from the current situation. Her brain was steadily slipping into darkness, where light could only be switched on with a dose of heroin.

The last thing she wanted was to use while in Chloe's home, especially when Chloe had been nothing short of extraordinary to Beca in the last few days. She didn't want to be disrespectful, but Beca knew it was a lost battle. She knew she wouldn't be able to ignore the screaming ache seizing her limbs for much longer.

It had been that way for years now, and as much as tried to fight it at the beginning, her body was now too accustomed to the rush heroin brought to it to go on without it more for more than one day.

She excused herself from the living room, perfectly aware that Chloe knew what she was about to do when she retrieved her backpack from near the window to take it down the hall with her. She chose to ignore those blue eyes following her moves. She chose to ignore the weight of guilt slowly setting inside her chest.

Locking the bathroom door behind her, Beca sat on the floor and rummaged through her backpack for her syringe and the other items she would need. A spoon, citric acid, a lighter and most importantly, heroin powder.

After looking through her bag, Beca came short of that last item and paused. She swore she had it before Chloe found her in the street the day before.

Feeling a rush of cold travel the entire length of her body, Beca emptied her bag frantically, its contents spilling onto the floor, save for the tiny zip bag where she kept the powder.

"Fuck."

Panic set inside her chest.

She _needed_ it.

She couldn't go on without it.

Beca looked again, and again, unfolded the few clothes she had in there with shaking fingers, but it wasn't there either.

Gritting her teeth, Beca sat back, trying to keep the anger steadily bubbling inside her in check.

She only knew of one person who might have had access to her stuff when she was passed out, and she was going to give that person a piece of her mind.


	9. Chapter 9

Chloe tried to focus on the show playing on the TV rather than on what she knew was unfolding in the bathroom down the hall. As the seconds slowly ticked back, she waited, breathing coming with difficulty and heartbeat thudding hard in her chest in anticipation of the tornado that was about to spin right into her.

She couldn't really explain her bold actions upon seeing that tiny bag filled with white powder drop on the floor. She was just looking through Beca's bag for other clothes for her to wear, and stumbled upon this instead.

She wasn't thinking straight when she flushed it down the toilet as soon as Beca was passed out in her bed. She wasn't thinking of the consequences it might unleash regarding her relationship with Beca. As she did it, she naively thought that it might be what Beca needed to quit. Just a little push.

But after listening to her story earlier, Chloe knew a simple flush down the toilet wouldn't suffice to erase Beca's deep wounds.

Chloe registered the door slamming before Tom did, and was already on her feet when Beca rounded the corner, looking absolutely livid. Like Chloe had never seen her before. She had switched clothes and was no longer wearing Chloe's but her own.

"You had no _right_!" she shouted, the anger in her voice rattling Chloe from the inside as it reverberated against her ribs. "What the actual fuck, Chloe!"

Tom frowned at this and stood up, too, confusion etched in his features.

"What the hell?"

Chloe looked between the two and rounded the couch, her two hands set gently in front of her, in a poor attempt to calm the atmosphere. She stopped a few feet from Beca.

"I can explain."

"I _trusted_ you!" Beca bellowed, eyes wide as she stared at Chloe. The redhead felt herself shrink under the rage emitting from Beca's gaze as her mouth moved without being able to utter a sound. "I fucking trusted you and you went behind my back!"

"What is going on?!" Tom asked, directing his question to Beca first, then Chloe.

"None of your fucking business!" Beca snapped, momentarily breaking eye contact with Chloe to set her blazing gaze on Tom. The man recoiled, but Chloe knew from the tense muscle of his jaw that he was starting to get pissed off.

Jazz, stuck in the turmoil, started to bark in the middle of it all and Chloe just wanted to cover her ears and curl into a ball on the floor at this point. Tom walked closer, stepping slightly in front of Chloe.

"You're hollering in _my_ home, insulting _my_ best friend so I do think it's _my_ damn business."

Beca's eyes were so wide Chloe thought they might pop out of their sockets.

She was pointing at Chloe while her eyes remained on Tom. "She went behind my back!"

"I don't know what she did, but I can assure you it was to help you in some way, like she's done ever since she's met you. She put herself on the line at work to take care of your friend and worries about you all the damn time!"

"Tom-" Chloe attempted to interrupt him but he didn't listen.

"That's how you _thank_ her? By yelling at her and spitting out insults? What kind of human being _are_ you?"

"Tom, stop," Chloe requested, laying a hand over his arm. She looked at him softly to silently tell him she could take care of this. Then she turned her attention to Beca, who had grown quiet. "Beca, can we talk?"

The brunette scoffed, bringing a shaky hand up to push her hair back.

"Fuck this," the brunette spat out, shrugging on her backpack and taking her coat off the rack. She beckoned Jazz to her and patted his head as if to apologize for the scene before hooking up the leash to his collar. "I'm outta here."

"No, Beca, don't go!" Chloe pleaded despite the daggers Tom was shooting at her. "I can explain, we can talk about this!"

"Just _stop_ , Chloe. I'm not worth it. We were never going to work out anyway. You made that perfectly clear by doing what you just did. I told you I wasn't going to change but you chose to ignore that and take matters into your own hands."

Beca shot her a glare before rounding the corner to disappear down the hallway, towards the door. It opened and slammed shut a second later. Chloe cursed under her breath and jogged to the door, slipping her feet into her sneakers.

"Chloe, she isn't worth it-"

"Just!" Chloe cut him off, clenching her fists by her sides to channel her anger. "Stop. We'll talk about it later. I _need_ to go after her."

Chloe ran down the four flights of stairs and was momentarily knocked backwards by the sudden cold that rushed through her when she made it outside. She wrapped her arms around her body while chastising herself for not putting on a coat.

"Beca!" she shouted when she caught the figure on the other side of the street, walking at a fast pace away from Chloe's building. Chloe jogged after her, careful not to slip in the fresh snow. "Beca, stop, please."

Beca whirled around to face her and Chloe came to a screeching halt, not expecting Beca to get into her face.

"What do you want from me!? Just leave me the fuck alone, Chloe. Or is that too much to ask?"

"Yes!" Chloe shouted when Beca resumed walking. The younger woman stopped, head hanging low. "Yes, it's too hard to let you go, because you're too important to me."

She approached slowly and stood next to Beca. Snowflakes were heavily landing on both of them, collecting onto their hair and eyelashes. Chloe caught a wisp of hair that was repeatedly being blown into her face by the strong wind, and tucked it back behind her ear.

"You deserve a better life than you give yourself credit for. And I can't stand there and watch you throw all that away."

Beca shrugged. "So don't watch."

That look of apathy was back in Beca's eyes, hammering on Chloe's heart ruthlessly. The anger had seemingly fled from Beca's frail body in favor of apathy.

Chloe didn't know which was worse.

"Just let me go, Chloe. I can't give you what you deserve. I'm not worthy of your kindness or all the things you seem willing to give me."

Chloe briefly wondered if Beca was testing her, testing her resolve and loyalty. Testing how far she could go before Chloe gave up on her.

"So that's _it_?" Chloe croaked out, attempting to reign her emotions back in. It didn't work though, as she felt her voice thicken over the next words. "You're just going to say goodbye?"

Chloe saw the dilemma happen in Beca's eyes and resumed talking before the brunette could make a decision.

"I know what I did was not okay, and I apologize for that. I don't know what I was thinking, throwing your stuff away like that. It wasn't my place and I should have consulted you before. When I heard your story and why you began to take drugs, I realized that what I did was completely out of place, but it was too late."

Chloe saw Beca's shoulders slump and knew that was the sign of her resolve breaking. Chloe powered through, laying a tentative hand over Beca's forearm.

"You feel it, too, right? That we have something special. Too special to be given up?"

Chloe swallowed thickly as seconds went by during which Beca remained thoughtful.

"I guess," Beca mumbled while looking down at the scuff of her shoes. "But that doesn't mean I'm not mad at you. You pulled a shitty move."

"I know," Chloe agreed with a firm nod, letting her hand drop to her side. "And I won't do it again, I promise. If that's-" she released a long breath and fought against her better judgement to get the next few words out. "If that's the way you want to live, then fine. I can't say that it's easy for me to accept but I'd rather stay in your life than be out of it just because I don't agree with the way you live."

"I don't want to be out of your life, either," Beca admitted quietly, a gentle smile pulling at her lips.

Chloe found herself relaxing for the first time in the last fifteen minutes.

"I'm freezing, should we go back inside?" Chloe asked, giving a tilt of the head towards her apartment building.

"I can't, Chloe. I need to find something," Beca cleared her throat and shivered. "Like, quickly."

"Oh," Chloe let out, feeling dumb for jumping to the conclusion that Beca would come back with her. "Right."

"I'll see you around, yeah?" Beca stated, already walking backward and away from Chloe. Somehow Chloe felt this was an empty promise, and was more meant as a goodbye than anything else. "Thanks for letting me stay."

Chloe sighed and waved, her soul torn between many emotions that she wouldn't quite place. It wasn't disappointment, but it wasn't relief either, and it was eating at her relentlessly. She crossed the street to step back into her building and slowly walked up the stairs. Tom was pacing in the living room when she slid in, occasionally shooting glances at the window.

"Hey," she said softly as she took her shoes off. "I'm sorry about all this."

"Yeah," Tom bit out, hands on his hips. The look in his eye made Chloe recoil slightly. "Why are you even doing this? She's nothing more than an ungrateful _bitch_."

"Don't," Chloe warned him, coming to sit on the couch. She patted the space next to her and Tom eventually sat down with a grumble. "I know you don't understand why I want her in my life, but she's a lot more than meets the eye, trust me."

Tom remained silent.

"She told me about her story today and it made me understand a lot about how she came to be the way she is and why she turned to drugs. She's broken, Tom. Like… her soul is so broken that it can't heal on its own, and that's why I want to help. Because believe me, that girl is kind, smart and so talented, but also drowning under the effect of heroin."

Chloe cleared her throat, momentarily thrown back to the previous day's events.

"When I took her home yesterday, she fell asleep in my bed and I was looking through her bag for a change of clothes. I found a bag of heroin and was flushing it down the toilet before I even realized what I was doing. I fucked up real bad and she had every right to be mad at me. I broke her trust. And the Beca you just saw was in need, nothing like the Beca I know and learned to appreciate."

Chloe briefly realized that she made it sound like the Beca on drugs was the girl she was attracted to, and that she might not know the real Beca at all.

Maybe the Beca she had learned to know was just an illusion fed by the drugs. Maybe the real Beca, free of the influence of opioids was a completely different person, a person Chloe wouldn't be drawn to. Something unpleasant settled in her stomach and made her toes curl in discomfort as her brain dwelled on that theory.

She shook her head to organize her thoughts, and resumed her story.

"She knows you from eight years ago."

Tom looked up with a frown.

"She was the girl whose mom was killed during the armed robbery back in 2012. One of your first days with NYPD, if I recall correctly. I remember when you came home that day, you were in shock and about to give up on your career."

"She, she was the _girl_?" Tom asked, observing Chloe closely as if to make sure she wasn't confusing with someone else. Upon Chloe's nod, he screwed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I remember now. She just… she couldn't stop crying and clutching her mom's body."

"Yeah. I remember how tough it was on you, so I don't know how she pulled through. Drugs 'helped' her, obviously, but took her down at the same time."

"Shit," Tom let out and Chloe could tell he was dazed. Eventually, he blinked and twisted his head to look at her. "What are you going to do now?"

"Nothing, I guess. Except show her I'm there for her and if she ever makes the decision to cut back, I'll help her."

Tom nodded, gaze still blank.

"Okay."

Chloe decided it was time for a happier conversation, she had gone through enough emotions in the last twenty-four hours.

"Do you think it would be okay if I invited her over for Christmas? Since we're spending it with friends, and she's my friend now."

"I don't see why not," Tom said after a beat. "Is that Stacie girl going to be there, too?"

Chloe rolled her eyes and shoved him lightly, even though she was glad for the lighter discussion.

"Yes."

Tom wiggled his eyebrows. "Sweet."

* * *

"Alright, buddy, I think what you have is just a bad case of the flu," Chloe told her young patient after examining him. The young boy pouted, looking as though he was about to cry. "But no worries! I'm gonna give you some medicine that will kick the bad guys' butt in a few days' time."

She dotted a few lines on her chart and handed it to the nurse.

"In the meantime, you can help by taking long naps, watching cartoons and drinking lots of water or soup."

"Soup?" the boy pulled a face. "Ew."

Chloe chuckled and tucked her pen back into the pocket of her lab coat, eyes flickering to the boy's dad sitting by the bed.

"I'm sure your dad makes awesome soups!"

Her pager went off and she glanced down at it to see it was from the desk.

"Sorry, I have to take this! The nurse will give you the prescription and direct you towards the pharmacy," she smiled at the boy and his dad. "Feel better!"

Chloe walked down the hall and set her chart in the rack before turning to Amy.

"You paged?"

"Someone's here to see you," the blonde said, angling her head toward the entrance. Chloe followed her line of sight and saw Beca standing there with two cups of coffee in her hands. Chloe waved shortly. "If I remember correctly, she fits the description of the girl you wanted to be paged for a while ago."

Chloe hummed in the affirmative and smiled at her colleague.

"Thanks Ames."

"Hey, Bec," Chloe greeted as she approached her. "What are you doing here?"

"Do you have time for coffee?" Beca asked, then awkwardly looked down at the cups in her hands. "If not I can-"

"I've got time," Chloe interrupted before Beca could go on. "Do you mind if we go somewhere quieter?"

"Sure," Beca agreed with a nod, and Chloe led her to the staff break room.

Thankfully, it was empty, and both of them sat at a table by the window. Beca pulled the cups from their holder and slid one toward Chloe. Accepting with a smile, Chloe took a sip and let out a moan.

"You read my mind. This is exactly what I needed."

"Long shift?"

"Something like that," Chloe answered evasively, hands cradling her cup. "What's this for?"

Beca quirked an eyebrow.

"Can't I buy you a cup of coffee?"

"No, I mean, yes," Chloe huffed. "Sorry, I'm just surprised. Truth is, I wasn't expecting to see you again after what went down. I didn't think you would forgive me after what I've done. I was out of line."

"I usually wouldn't forgive someone if they pulled the same move," Beca started, fiddling with the paper wrap around her cup. "But you're not just _someone_ and I... I guess you're important to me, too."

Chloe felt her cheeks warm up instantly. She allowed herself to smile for the first time; a real, relieved smile that tugged at the corners of her lips.

"Besides," Beca resumed before Chloe could form any words. "I acted like a bitch, too. Tom was right. You've done a lot for me, and I shouldn't have bitten your head off the way I did. I'm sorry, Chloe."

"It's alright," Chloe told her. "I guess we can settle it by admitting we both acted like idiots, then."

Beca chuckled, nodding her head.

"Sounds like a good plan," She extended a hand towards Chloe. "Friends?"

The redhead laughed, not hesitating one second to shake it. "Friends."

"Speaking of friends," Chloe continued, feeling like the window was ideal. "Tom and I are hosting a Christmas dinner tomorrow with a couple of our friends. I wanted to ask you if you might want to come. Benji is welcome, too."

Beca shook her head.

"He has his own thing with his mom. They have a weird relationship."

"Okay…" Chloe trailed for, not sure what Beca's final answer was. "But you're free?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Jeez, tame down the enthusiasm a little bit," Chloe teased, earning herself a playful glare from Beca.

"Sorry," the brunette said quietly, eyes leaving Chloe's hold to look down at the coffee cup. "I just… I don't know if Tom would like me back in your home after what went down. Rightfully so."

"I think we agreed we had put this behind us?" Chloe edged, tilting her head to the side as she gave Beca a soft smile. "Besides, I already talked to him, and he agreed it would be good if you came."

"He did?"

"Yeah."

"Um, okay, then," Beca said with a nod, that looked more directed to herself than to Chloe, and the redhead had to stifle a giggle at her cute expression. "What can I bring?"

"Just yourself," Chloe immediately said, then looked down underneath the table where Jazz patiently lay. "And this cutie."

* * *

By the next day, Chloe had a heavy case of the jitters. Everything was ready. The turkey was cooking in the oven, the potatoes and steam vegetables were about to be done, and Tom was currently setting the table.

"Why are you so nervous?" Tom asked as she repositioned a piece of cutlery that wasn't perfectly lined up with the rest. "You've never been so fussy over the table. Are you having a sudden case of OCD?"

Chloe sighed and pushed her hair back.

"I just want everything to be perfect."

Tom laughed curtly. "You know Beca won't care if everything isn't perfect, right? As long as you're here, she'll be alright."

Chloe should definitely give him more credit for always knowing exactly what she was thinking. Tom paused and ran his eyes up and down Chloe's body playfully.

"Speaking of, I would take care of that instead of the table."

Chloe looked down at herself and blushed furiously. She was still in the comfy clothes she wore for cooking, a stained apron tied over it. Her hair was probably a war zone, too, having been thrown into a messy bun hours ago.

"Oh. Right."

Chloe hurried to get herself ready. She was glad she had already figured out her outfit; a dark green dress that stopped above the knees (without making it look like she was a flight attendant) and brown knee-high boots to complement the look. She decided to leave her hair as it was, wavy and flowing just past her shoulders. She put on minimal eye make-up, preferring to accentuate her look with red lipstick.

Aubrey was the first to arrive, at precisely six-thirty, carrying an expensive bottle of wine and an assortment of chocolate.

Stacie came striding in carrying dessert and Tom's eyes directly dove to her generous cleavage. Chloe rolled her eyes, and immediately told them both not to eye-fuck over her Christmas food.

Cynthia-Rose and one of Tom's closest friends from the station arrived with his wife at the same time twenty minutes later.

Chloe served everyone their drinks, purposefully busying her mind to not let it dwell too much on the high chance that Beca might not show.

Just as they were about to sit down for dinner, a quiet knock was heard at the door, and Chloe's eyes lit up. She missed the curious looks exchanged by her friends as she walked down the hall and opened the door.

"Hi!" Chloe greeted happily upon seeing Beca standing on the other side, staggering backwards when Jazz leapt to his hind legs to greet her. "Oh, hello to you too, boy!"

"Jazz, down," Beca said with a laugh, pulling lightly at her dog's collar. He sat down, tongue hanging out of his mouth, looking quite proud of himself. Chloe patted his head before smoothing down her dress. "Sorry we're late."

"It's fine, come on in," Chloe gestured wildly with her hand, stepping aside to let her last two guests through. "I'm glad you're here."

Beca paused and turned to her, smiling as she tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

"Thanks for inviting me. You, uh, you look very nice."

Chloe looked down at herself and felt her cheeks get warm under Beca's gaze.

"Thank you."

She slipped her hand in Beca's and tugged on it slightly. It wasn't necessary as Beca followed her willingly, Chloe just felt like she wanted to. Beca's palm felt soft against hers and fit perfectly.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to my friends."


	10. Chapter 10

Chloe could feel the tension radiating through Beca's body and transferring to hers by their bound hands. Just before rounding the corner that would lead to the living room, Chloe gave Beca's hand a gentle squeeze and added a playful wink for good measure.

"They aren't going to bite, I promise."

Beca puffed out a breath and nodded, squaring her shoulders a little bit. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

The conversation abruptly stopped when they walked into the main room, and Chloe was glad she had decided to put on some background music that successfully prevented an awkward silence.

"Guys, this is Beca," Chloe announced with a smile, tugging slightly on the brunette's hand before letting go. "Beca, you know Stacie and Tom. That's Aubrey and Cynthia-Rose."

"Yeah, I remember from the video."

"You didn't show her the one where I puked, did you?" Aubrey immediately asked, a deep frown etched in her face.

Of course that would be her main concern.

Beca raised an eyebrow at that, while Chloe waved Aubrey off.

"Of course not!"

She then waved her hand towards Tom's co-worker and his wife.

"And this is Will and his wife Monica."

Beca gave a general, awkward wave and Chloe was at loss at what to say, so she clapped her hands together and announced dinner time, motioning for everyone to sit down.

"Bree, give me a hand in the kitchen?"

The blonde followed Chloe inside the kitchen and found herself pulled by the arm into the corner.

"Okay, if work things come up, please don't mention that you run a rehab center?"

Aubrey gave her a curious look.

"Why ever not?"

"It's complicated. I'll explain later."

Chloe handed Aubrey the potato and vegetable dish while she took care of the cut-up turkey and sauce. They set everything down on the table and Chloe looked up to see that the only vacant seat left at the large table was next to Beca. Judging from Stacie and Tom's sheepish looks, the redhead knew some meddling had taken place while she was in the kitchen.

She couldn't say she wasn't happy with the table setting though, and sat down next to the shorter woman, who offered her a small smile.

Dishes were passed around over meaningless chatter until everyone was served, and Chloe raised her glass of wine, waiting for everyone to mirror her action before speaking.

"I'm not going to make a big speech because the food is getting cold and I worked my ass off today while Tom watched the Christmas parade," she shot her roommate a non-threatening glare while he at least had the decency to take the accusation without complaining. Chloe then smiled warmly at everyone. "I just wanted to say that I'm very happy to be spending this Christmas Eve with my closest friends. So! Without further ado, bon appetit!"

Conversation flowed easily over dinner, jumping from family, to work to sports. Beca seemed to have trouble loosening up, which was understandable as she only knew Chloe.

Chloe's eyes flickered to Beca after a while and noticed she hadn't even taken a sip of her wine.

"Sorry, I didn't ask," she started, voice quieter than the chatter surrounding them. "Did you want a beer, maybe?"

"No, wine is fine, don't worry," Beca told her.

Chloe's mind nearly short-circuited when the brunette's hand moved to her leg and gave it a light squeeze.

"I promise I'm having fun. What you cooked is delicious."

"Thanks," Chloe choked out, trying to hide her disappointment when Beca's hand slid away, back to her own lap. She took a sip of her iced water to try and cool herself down, but she knew it would be useless as long as Beca was next to her. She decided she needed to join back into the main conversation to avoid being drawn to do stuff with Beca that weren't friend-material.

"How's music making going, CR?" Chloe jumped in at the first pause in conversation and saw Beca perk up in the corner of her eye.

"It's going awesome. Long days but amazing artists to work with."

"You're a music producer?"

The question came from Beca, the first time she spoke up of the evening so far and Chloe sat back, glad that her plan worked.

"Yeah, I've got a label downtown. Opened it up last year after working for Red Bedroom Records for the last eight years."

Beca's eyes widened comically and a true smile broke onto her face.

"That's amazing."

"You into music?" Cynthia-Rose asked, and Chloe watched as Beca shrugged.

"A little bit."

"What do you mean, a _little bit_?" Chloe scoffed in astonishment, turning to Cynthia-Rose a second later. "She's amazing. Writes her own songs and everything."

" _Chloe_ ," Beca gritted out through locked teeth, face catching fire while everyone else chuckled at her embarrassed state.

"What?" Chloe questioned with a laugh. "It's true!"

"What kind of music are we talking about?"

Chloe straightened up in curiosity, glad that Cynthia-Rose was interested to know more. Another conversation had started across the table between Aubre and the couple, while Stacie and Tom were shamelessly flirting in between bites.

"Acoustic guitar, mostly. I used to mix, too, but I don't have the equipment to do it anymore."

"That's _it_!" Cynthia-Rose's outburst made everybody's heads turn to her as she slapped her hand over the table. "I _knew_ you were familiar. You're DJ Titanium!"

If that was even possible, Beca's face turned a deeper shade of red, and she fastened her gaze on her lap. Chloe watched on, utterly confused, as was everyone around the table, save for Cynthia-Rose and maybe Stacie, who had her mouth shaped in an O.

"Um, yeah, that's me. Well, it _used_ to be me. I don't play gigs anymore."

Beca cleared her throat, still avoiding eye-contact, and reached out to grab her glass of water as Chloe kept her gaze on her, unable to form words as the new piece of information toyed with her mind. _Beca was a DJ?_

"Girl, your beat is _insane_!" Cynthia-Rose resumed, oblivious to Beca's unwillingness to talk about it. "I remember catching your sound at a few different clubs and telling myself I wish our label would sign you. I used to tell my friends you would win a Grammy someday."

Beca choked on her sip and sputtered a little bit.

"I'm, I mean I wasn't that good."

The past tense used by Beca made it clear she didn't believe in herself anymore, which was a shame if you asked Chloe. From what she had heard, Beca was fantastic.

"I would trust CR's opinion," Stacie piped in from the end of the table. "Several of her artists have Grammy's under their belt, now."

"But then you dropped off the face of the earth. Did you just stop altogether?" Cynthia-Rose wondered, both eyebrows raised to her hairline, shoulders slumping in disappointment, Chloe guessed. "What happened? Bad label management?"

"No, um…" Beca trailed off, and Chloe bit on the inside of her lip to keep from telling Cynthia-Rose to drop it as she could tell from Beca's body language that she didn't want to talk about this anymore. "Just life, I guess. I fell out of the circle."

"Oh," Cynthia-Rose nodded, and Chloe was glad she didn't pry further. "Are you still doing something music-related now?"

"Um, no," Beca's head shook quickly before she pushed her chair back, hesitantly meeting everyone's eye. "Excuse me."

Chloe sat back, following Beca's figure until she rounded the corner leading to the bathroom.

"Shit, did I say something wrong?" Cynthia-Rose grimaced, eyes on Chloe.

"Nah, don't worry. She just has a heavy past," Chloe cleared her throat, noticing everyone's plate was empty and probably had been for a while. "Come on people, there's still plenty of turkey and potatoes left here, help yourselves!"

As soon as everyone fell into easy conversation once more, Chloe discreetly walked away towards the bathroom. Jazz was sitting in front of it, scratching the wood with his paw and whining every so often. Chloe knocked lightly.

"Beca?" she called out gently, hand resting on the door. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

There was a definite waver in Beca's voice that told Chloe she wasn't fine, but Chloe stood back.

"I'll be right out."

"Take your time," Chloe said through the door. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Just as Chloe was about to leave her some privacy, a click indicated the door was unlocked. When the door didn't open afterwards, Chloe took it as an invitation to come in. She hesitated, and turned back around, wrapping her hand around the knob. She opened it just wide enough to slide through the gap, allowing Jazz to do so as well, and sat next to Beca, back resting against the bathtub. Her dog laid down on the other side of his owner, resting his nose against Beca's thigh.

"Sorry, I…" Beca reached out to thread her fingers through Jazz's fur. It seemed soothing to her. "I got overwhelmed."

"It's okay," Chloe murmured, reaching out for Beca's hand to give it a light squeeze. After another beat of hesitation, she eventually laced their fingers together, upper-body relaxing when Beca didn't show any desire to pull away. "So, a DJ, huh? Were you planning on staying anonymous all this time?"

"Yeah," Beca replied with a shrug. "I guess it never came up."

Beca paused, as if replaying Chloe's words in her brain.

"You knew me?"

"I knew _of_ you. Cynthia-Rose and Stacie were pretty hooked on your sound and told me about it countless times. I never got to see one of your gigs, though. Or hear any of your tracks because they didn't air on the radio, right?"

"No, I was independent. After my mom's death, I dropped out of school and started to make music instead of just mixing already existing songs. It worked very well for a while, until the addiction made it too difficult to get up in the morning or get up at all for that matter," Beca shrugged again, looking down at her lap. "I missed a lot of gigs and eventually no club owner trusted me anymore and I was soon out of a job. But it didn't really matter to me at this point, I think I was too far gone to even care."

Chloe nodded and squeezed Beca's fingers, encouraging her to continue.

"I got kicked out of my apartment because I couldn't pay rent. And the addiction had become so important that I sold my equipment to buy more and it was a never-ending circle from then on."

"I'm sorry."

Beca let out a quiet, humorless laugh.

"Why? This is all on me."

"I'm sorry drugs were your only way out. That you had nobody else to turn to," Chloe stated softly. She chewed on her bottom lip as she hesitated, wondering how to ask this without backing Beca up in a corner. She had wanted to ask her when Beca came by the hospital a few days ago but felt they were still in a rocky spot. "Can I ask you a question?"

To her surprise, Beca didn't show any objection. "Sure."

"The other day when I brought you back here during the storm, I helped you undress and I couldn't help but notice bruises on your stomach."

"Oh."

"I just want to make sure you're not in danger, Beca. Are thoses bruises from a fight or from something health related?"

"From a fight," Beca answered without hesitating a beat. "You know when I told you I had bad experiences with shelters?" Chloe nodded, taking a deep breath to somewhat steady herself for what was coming next. "Well, the first night of the storm, I tried to sleep in one because it was really bad out there. I had had some altercations already with this girl from the streets and she was there, and she wasn't happy to see me on her 'territory'. Anyway, it started with words and quickly evolved in blows and well, she had friends with her, so... yeah."

"Beca," Chloe's voice was so small as she gripped Beca's hand harder. "They beat you up?"

Beca shrugged, as if it was customary. "It wasn't that bad. You should have seen them," Chloe wanted to smile at Beca's attempt to joke but she couldn't find it within herself to do so. "They stole my phone, too. That was that night. Otherwise, maybe I would have called you, I don't know."

Chloe cleared her throat to keep it stirred from overwhelming emotion. "And that girl is she... is she going to be a problem?"

"No," Beca assured instantly. "I can handle it. As long as I don't step over her toes, I'll be fine. I just... I don't trust shelters anymore."

"Understandable," Chloe replied quietly, her mind unable to stay away from vivid images of Beca being beaten up. She shook her head to try and get rid of it, and wracked her brain for a change of subject as an awkward silence loomed over them. "I wish I could have seen you mix."

"I still have some of my mixes, if you want," Beca said exactly what Chloe had hoped for. Grey eyes flickered to hers and only then did Chloe realize how close they really were. "They haven't been played to anyone in close to five years but… you're different. You get music and I would really like it if you listened to them."

Chloe hoped Beca couldn't hear how loud her heart was thumping in her chest, nearly threatening to beat out of it. She was glad to have gained back some sense of trust from the brunette after their ordeal a couple days ago.

"I'd be honored to listen to them."

"Cool," Beca gave her a smile, and Chloe watched, as if time had slowed down, as Beca's eyes flickered down to her mouth. She unconsciously licked her lips for what she thought was about to come and leaned in to meet Beca in the middle when-

"Chloe!" Stacie's voice made them spring apart. It sounded like she was right up against the door and Chloe had the sudden, strong desire to make her shut up and go away so she could go back to almost be kissing Beca. "Where's your computer!? Believe it or not, Tom has _never_ seen Aubrey puke at the ICCA's! I thought it would go well with the Christmas spirit."

"Ugh," Chloe mumbled, throwing Beca an apologetic look as she rose to her feet, dropping Beca's hand in the process.

She pulled the door open perhaps a bit too harshly and spotted Stacie leaning against the opposite wall sheepishly.

"Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

Beca replied before Chloe would even process the question, having followed Chloe out. Her expression was unreadable.

"No."

Stacie cocked an eyebrow at that, maybe more at Chloe's disappointed expression than at Beca's answer.

"Hey Chloe," Stacie spoke up when the video of the ICCA's had got around, much to Aubrey's dismay. Chloe looked up from her plate. "Did you ever call the girl that found you cute? She asked me about you the other night. Again."

Chloe narrowed her eyes dangerously. She knew exactly what Stacie was doing. She felt her skin get warmer by the second, and Beca's gaze on the side of her face didn't help one bit in that department.

"Um, no."

"What girl?" Cynthia-Rose asked.

Stacie acknowledged Cynthia-Rose briefly, but cut her eyes back to Chloe and Beca, as if to gauge each of their reactions. "Her name's Tina. She's a friend of Steve's."

"Oooh, the tall brunette with the sleeve tatt?"

Upon Stacie's nod Cynthia-Rose hummed in approval, turning to look at Chloe.

"Yeah, she's hot. Why in the world would you pass that, Beale?"

"I'm guessing she has a secret girlfriend," Stacie stage-whispered when Chloe didn't say anything right away, cupping her hand around her mouth.

The redhead rolled her eyes, wondering if it was too early to kick them out.

"You're not back with Rachel, are you?" Aubrey asked with a frown, and Chloe sighed. "You could do much better than that, Chloe."

"Enough," she warned, glaring at her three friends. "I don't have a secret girlfriend. I'm good. Can we stop talking about my love life? _Please?_ "

As her friends half-heartedly apologized, Beca's eyes remained on Chloe but the younger woman didn't say anything. Chloe met her eyes briefly, without being able to gauge the brunette's reaction. It wasn't the way she wanted to tell Beca about her exclusive attraction to women.

Dessert came around quickly, and Beca announced shortly after coffee that she had better get going. Chloe understood; they were about to exchange gifts and the brunette probably felt it would be awkward if she was there.

"I'll walk you out," Chloe told Beca as she grabbed an envelope from the drawer of the cabinet by the door. They walked to the door and Chloe stopped in the hallway, Beca turning to her.

"Thank you for inviting me," she said softly, burying her hands into her pockets. "I had a good time."

Chloe wasn't sure if she was saying that just to be polite or if she meant it. She went for the first option.

"I'm glad you came," Chloe echoed her words from earlier, though she was confused by Beca's mixed signals. "I got you something."

"Chloe…."

"It's not much, and it's Christmas. _Everyone_ should have gifts for Christmas."

She reached inside the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out the envelope before handing it to Beca. The younger woman took it between her fingers and flipped it over, taking its contents out.

"Chloe," Beca repeated, brows furrowed when she looked up. "I can't accept this."

"Of course you can!" Chloe insisted with a bright smile. "A friend of mine knows the manager so it didn't cost that much anyway."

Beca eventually mirrored her smile, glancing back down at the tickets in her hands as if it was a treasure. Her vision was misty when she glanced back up.

"I haven't been to a game in a very long time."

Chloe smiled.

"Well, there are two tickets, so you can take Benji with you, if he likes baseball, that is."

"Can we go together?" Beca asked instead, unleashing a bunch of pleasant feelings in Chloe's stomach.

"Sure. But I don't know much about baseball, so you'll have to teach me."

"That can be arranged." Beca said cheekily, the low tone of her voice making Chloe's cheeks flush slightly. "Actually, I know a place for that. It will probably be closed tomorrow, since it's Christmas day, but we can go on Thursday. What's your shift like?"

Chloe tried not to grin too widely at Beca initiating something.

"I think I'm done by six P.M."

"Perfect. I'll meet you at the hospital?"

Chloe hummed.

"You aren't going to tell me where we're going?"

"Nope." Beca threw a wink in there and Chloe was positive she would flatline soon as a spike of lust made its way to her core, leaving her extremities tingling pleasantly. Beca surely knew she was flirting, and from the conversation that took place at the table not long ago, she was also probably aware it wouldn't be regarded as aimless flirting. "Oh, I got you something, too."

"Beca!"

"I would say it's not much, but I don't think our standards are the same. So this is definitely not much."

The brunette reached inside her backpack and retrieved a messily wrapped package. Chloe took it between her hands before tearing it open. The material she unfurled was soft underneath her digits and made of blue yarn.

"Did you make this?" she asked in surprise, eyeing the precise knitting of the scarf closely.

"Yeah. I know it doesn't look like it, but I enjoy knitting."

"It's beautiful."

"The, um, the color reminded me of your eyes." Beca pried it back from Chloe's hands gently and took a step closer. "Let me?"

Chloe nodded, a bit too speechless to give Beca a verbal agreement. Her breathing got stuck somewhere in her throat as Beca draped it over the back of Chloe's neck and gave it few loops, pulling away slightly to admire her handywork.

She tutted with a satisfied nod.

"Suits you."

Chloe didn't really think twice about it and pulled Beca into a warm hug before she could resist. Beca let out a laugh and soon Chloe felt her arms around her waist, tugging her slightly closer until they were almost flush against each other.

"Thank you," Chloe breathed out against Beca's neck. "I love it."

Beca parted, and Chloe reluctantly let her.

"You're welcome. I'm glad."

She slipped something in Chloe's palm, a USB stick.

"Those are some of my mixes, whenever you want to listen to them."

"Thanks. I'll see you on Thursday, then?" Beca nodded and Chloe fought against the urge to ask her to stay. Knowing Beca would spend the night in precarious conditions in the cold made her wary. "Be careful out there, alright?"

"I will, Red."

* * *

"How long has she been using?"

Chloe paused her actions, sponge freezing over the plate she was washing. Aubrey had insisted to stay and help Chloe, something about catching up as the blonde wasn't in the city often.

"What?"

"That Beca girl," Chloe didn't like the tone in Aubrey's voice one bit. "She's an addict, I can tell."

Chloe would have told Aubrey to change careers if she wasn't able to tell if someone was on drugs or not. Still, she wished Aubrey wouldn't be so cold about it.

"Do you talk about all drug addicts this way behind their backs?" Chloe asked, finally abandoning the dishes to turn to Aubrey, who had been storing the leftover food into containers at the kitchen table. "Because it's a bit unsettling given the fact that you help them on a daily basis."

"Okay, _ouch_ ," Aubrey let out with a raised eyebrow. "Sorry if I'm cold about it. I can tell you like her and I guess I'm just being protective."

"Yeah, well, I'm handling it perfectly well, thank you for your concern."

"Why are you so bitter about it?" Aubrey asked gently, approaching the redhead.

Chloe ran a hand through her hair in frustration, not caring if it got wet from her soapy hand.

"I wanna help her, but she doesn't want my help. And we almost kissed today, at least I think we did and I want to be with her, I really do," Chloe sighed, letting her hand drop by her side. "We just live on two different planets. She doesn't think she's worthy enough or some shit like that, when I know how kind and considerate she can be."

"Do you know how she uses? Like, is it often, a lot at the time?"

Chloe shook her head.

"She told me she knew how much to take to handle the pain. And she seems to know what she's doing. I've never seen her drowsy or overly disconnected from the real world, expect for the handful of times where she needed a fix."

Aubrey hummed as Chloe added,

"I don't think the drugs make her different from her true self."

"Then she must have everything under control, and that's probably why she doesn't think she needs help. She's comfortable with her use and doesn't realize what's wrong about it."

Chloe buried her face in her hands and released a groan. She felt as if she was stuck on a rollercoaster of emotions, going in loops without being able to step down.

"What do I do, Bree? She's completely turned my life upside down and I can't imagine it without her in it anymore."

If Aubrey was surprised, she hid it well. The blonde pursed her lips, seemingly taking her time to find the right words.

"Ask yourself if you're ready to abandon your better judgement to be with her. Ask yourself if you're strong enough for the tough road ahead. Addicts tend to fend very well by themselves and rarely have or want any steadiness in their lives," Aubrey laid a hand on Chloe's shoulder. "I know you and I'm not sure this is the kind of relationship where you'll find happiness. I may be wrong of course as I've only seen Beca a few hours but… that's my opinion on it. Maybe you should take a step back? I'm afraid you might get hurt."

Chloe knew Aubrey was partly right. But she also knew she was too far gone to even _consider_ taking that step back.


	11. Chapter 11

Six PM couldn't come fast enough. Chloe's eyes kept flickering to the clock, to the point where Stacie made fun of her every time she was there to witness it. It didn't help that her shift was only minor cases with nothing too thrilling.

Not that Chloe wished for accidents to happen, but she was bit tired of flu season and giving out the same diagnostic over and over again.

However, when victims for a multiple car pile-up came in at five-fifty, Chloe took it very hard upon herself not to groan.

It was six-thirty when she finally made it outside, and power walked to Beca who sat on one of the benches under the porch, back leaned against the wall with her eyes closed. She opened them when Chloe's footsteps got nearer.

"I'm so sorry, there was a big accident and I couldn't leave."

Beca smiled and straightened, blinking dazedly up at Chloe.

"No worries. The woman at the reception offered me a coffee."

"Amy?"

"Yeah, I think so. Australian accent?"

Chloe nodded.

"Well apparently she knew who I was and that I had to have a special treatment per your orders whenever I showed up."

Chloe rolled her eyes. She had never said such thing. She was going to have a little chat with Amy. And Stacie, too. But those could wait. Right now, she wanted to focus on Beca and leave her idiotic, meddling friends who couldn't mind their own business as far away from her thoughts as possible.

Beca stood up and tugged on Jazz's leash to get him up, too.

"You been talking about me in there, Red?"

They swiflty fell into step as they crossed the ambulance bay. Chloe cleared her throat as she slipped her hands into her pockets, trying to keep her face clear of any blush.

"Maybe a little bit."

Beca hummed and glanced at her briefly but didn't say more.

"Do we need to take my car?" the redhead asked, dangling her keys from her pocket.

"Yeah, that's a good plan."

They made it to the underground parking lot reserved to the hospital staff and hopped into Chloe's car, Jazz curling by Beca's feet. Beca punched in the address into Chloe's built-in GPS and sat back.

They listened to the radio on the way there, both humming under their breath whenever they knew the song. It took them fifteen minutes given the heavy traffic. Chloe frowned when she parked in front of a baseball park.

"I thought you were going to teach me the baseball rules, not play?!"

"It's more fun to play, trust me."

With that, Beca hastily hopped off, Jazz excitedly trailing behind and Chloe laughed to herself before doing so as well. Beca opened the railing and stepped in, holding it for Chloe. Chloe took in the different lanes with automatic ball-launchers and gasped when she realized what Beca was getting at.

"I'm not doing that!" she said in horror, watching someone on another lane hit a very-fast coming ball with a bat and sending it fly off field. "I'm going to break my skull, Bec."

"That's why you'll have one of these," Beca replied, taking a blue helmet off the rack and placing it on Chloe's head. "There."

The brunette then grabbed a bat but kept it to herself, told Jazz to stay put by the prep area and led Chloe to one of the lanes.

"Alright, when I tell you, you push that button," Beca instructed, motioning towards the box by the end of the lane. "The ball will come out and I'll hit it."

"Hold up," she went back to the entrance and grabbed another helmet, placing it over Beca's head a few seconds later. "Did you expect that, as a doctor, I'd let you do this without a helmet?"

Beca grinned sheepishly, biting down on her bottom lip.

"No?"

Chloe hummed as she took in Beca's new look.

"We look good, we should take a selfie."

"Ugh, you're a selfie person, aren't you?" Beca fake-complained, yelping when Chloe shoved her. "Alright."

Chloe slung an arm over Beca's shoulder to pull her closer so they both fitted in the frame, Beca's arm slipping around her own waist. They both smiled as the camera click went off.

Chloe backed away towards the box, watching Beca take her stance. At Beca's verbal signal, Chloe pushed the button and a ball came flying out directly at the small woman like a bludger would at a Quidditch game, and Chloe was afraid it might break Beca's jaw. But the brunette hit it square without an ounce of hesitation. The ball was driven back full force into the nets, and Chloe still had to pick up her jaw from the floor when Beca turned around.

Everything about it was unbelievably hot.

Beca's moves, her strength and technique, and that cocky expression now adorning her face.

"Alright, your turn, Red," she drawled out, letting the bat dangle from her fingers.

"Cocky much?" Chloe asked as Beca handed her the bat before telling her exactly where to stand.

"Jesus," Chloe muttered as she mirrored Beca's stance from earlier, with a lot less conviction. She gripped the bat harder and nodded when Beca asked her if she was ready. The ball didn't come as fast this time, but still fast enough for Chloe to miss it by several feet. Huffing, she squared her shoulders back upon hearing Beca's encouragements.

The same thing happened a second time, then a third time, and Chloe was starting to wonder where the fun in this was.

"Alright," Beca said as she approached Chloe. She came up to stand behind her and Chloe's breathing itched at the sudden, but not unwelcome proximity.

Soft, petite hands set on her hips, setting Chloe's skin on fire even through her top. She staggered back slightly, into Beca's body, until they were flush against each other. Chloe's senses were suddenly on overdrive.

"You gotta put more commitment in your hips. You only swing with your hands, but the twist happens from the hips, then your upper body follows."

Beca demonstrated by twisting Chloe's hips several times while giving other instructions, such as bending Chloe's arm the right way, but Chloe's mind had gone blank a while ago.

"Got it?" Beca whispered into Chloe's ear, breath tickling her neck. Chloe reigned back a moan and nodded despite herself.

She certainly didn't _have_ any of this.

Her brain felt mushy from the proximity and sensuality of the moves.

To Chloe's dismay, Beca let her hands drop back to her side and stepped back to the machine. Chloe moved back into her stand and locked eyes on where the ball would come out, swinging it right out of the park with a loud _thunk_.

The sensation was exhilarating, sending a bolt of electricity right down the tip of her fingers and toes. Chloe squealed, throwing the bat down on the ground and making the short distance towards Beca to engulf her into a tight, excited hug.

"Can't breathe," Beca mumbled after a few seconds, causing Chloe to soften her hold as she pulled back, keeping Beca at arm length.

"That was amazing!"

"Good job," Beca complimented, squeezing Chloe's hips lightly. The redhead felt the atmosphere thicken and shift from a playful banter to palpable attraction. An invisible bond drew both women closer, their respective eyes glancing down at each other lips. Beca cleared her throat and broke eye-contact. "Wanna do it again?"

Chloe swallowed thickly, willing her brain to remain out of the gutter.

"Yeah."

They played for an hour or more, maybe, Chloe wasn't sure. She was definitely better by the end of it, and could now hit the ball at full speed, though the slight concern to getting knocked out was constant.

"Alright, thanks to you, I might consider applying to be on the baseball team for inter-hospitals tournaments."

Chloe said as they got out of the park. Beca led them to a hot-dog truck parked a hundred yards away and ordered two hot-dogs. Beca insisted on paying, and Chloe wondered if this was a date to the brunette. It certainly felt like one, and Chloe couldn't keep the butterflies from flapping eagerly in her belly.

They found a table to sit on by the main field where a kid's match was just starting. Beca spent a few minutes explaining each position to Chloe, pointing at various places on the field as they ate.

"Did you play when you were younger?" Chloe asked after chewing on a bite.

"Not in a team, no. My grandpa was the one to teach me. We started in his backyard when I was old enough to grasp the ball. We used to just toss it and grab it with the glove. He took me to my first Yankees game when I was four, I think. He was so excited. It's actually one of my first memories."

"That's sweet," Chloe commented with a smile. She could almost picture a young version of Beca with a baseball glove too big for her. "What about your dad?"

"What's with the twenty questions, Red?" Beca asked playfully, before shrugging. "He was never in the picture. Left when my mom told him she was pregnant. Not a loss, I guess."

"Oh."

Beca gave Jazz the rest of her hot-dog and wiped her hands on a napkin.

"I feel like I'm always talking about me. What about your family?"

"I was born and raised in Oregon, just outside of Portland. I have two older brothers, Chad and Casey."

Beca laughed, bracing her elbows on her bent knees as she twisted her head to look at Chloe. "All C's? Why am I not surprised?"

"Yeah, my parents are those kinds of dorks."

"So who's the redhead? Your mom or your dad?"

"Surprisingly, none of the two. Neither are my brothers. They are all blondes or brunettes, in my dad's case. My grandma was a redhead, so it probably comes from there."

"Oh. I was worried you might say you weren't a natural redhead."

Chloe stifled a giggle.

"Worried?"

Beca rolled her eyes at her own wording.

"No, I mean, well I like it. The red. It's cool that it's your natural color."

"Thanks?"

Beca seemed to be fighting off a blush.

"Anytime."

Chloe felt that strong pull in her stomach once more. She broke eye-contact from Beca's compelling greys before her resolve broke if Beca stared at her a second longer. She looked up when cheers broke out around the field as a kid ran fast to complete the track.

"So that's a homerun," Beca told Chloe as she leaned towards her.

Chloe rolled her eyes with a laugh.

"Thanks, Sherlock," she mocked. "I know what a homerun looks like; I'm not _that_ much of a loser."

Beca lifted both hands up to her shoulders.

"My bad. Ready to attend your first game, then?"

"You know it's not for another three months, right?" Chloe asked with a quirked eyebrow. "There's plenty of time for other lessons. I need to be on my A-game. And I could use my knowledge to impress Tom and his buddies whenever they come around to watch the game at home."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Just picture me shooting off the couch yelling, that should be a red card, ref!"

Chloe shot off the table to demonstrate as she spoke, and Beca burst out laughing. Chloe grinned at the sound, her heartbeat suddenly picking up in joy.

"That's soccer, Chlo."

Chloe's breathing altered. She could get used to that nickname, too.

"I know, I'm just goofing around."

"Hmm," Beca looked at her in amusement but didn't say anything as Chloe stood in front of her, a mere foot separating them.

"But yeah, I should have other lessons to be able to pull something like that."

"Yeah?"

Chloe nodded with a coy smile, taking a step closer to stand between Beca's legs, knees hitting the bench.

"Definitely."

It almost felt like the two women were off on their own little planet for once, oblivious to what was going on elsewhere as they were too busy gazing at each other. The same planet, where they were both attracted to each other but too scared to take the leap. That was how Chloe felt, and she had the hunch Beca was along the same lines.

At least she hoped so, because she didn't want to be slapped in the face when she finally decided to grow some balls and kiss Beca.

Now or never, she decided, in a way to give herself some courage.

Nerves eating at her stomach, Chloe cupped Beca's cheek and leaned in, brushing her nose against Beca to show her this was happening, to give her time to pull away should she want to. The brunette remained still, eyes boring into Chloe's with a compelling draw about them. Her breath ghosted over Chloe's lips, until Chloe closed the gap, capturing Beca's bottom lip between her own.

Time seemed to still as neither woman moved for a beat, remaining lip-locked with their eyes shut. Chloe pulled back a few millimeters and dipped back forward, this time a bit more boldly. Beca's hand found the side of Chloe's neck, tugging her closer.

A sound coming from low inside Beca's throat and the fact that Beca was kissing her back urged Chloe on, and she tilted her head to deepen the kiss, blinded by a white flash when Beca's tongue swept against hers. A thrill rush went down her spine, sending tiny bolts of energy all the way down her toes.

It was over before Chloe could register it, and Beca was suddenly standing a few feet away from her, fists clenching and unclenching by her sides. Lips still tingling in the aftermath of the best kiss she had ever experienced, Chloe felt her bubble burst and stared at Beca quizzically.

"Bec? Did I do something wrong?"

Beca was looking at anywhere but Chloe.

"You don't want this."

"I don't want-" Chloe let the words sink in and tilted her head to the side, going for the simple answer. "I think I was the one who kissed you."

Beca shook her head restlessly. "I'm not, I'm not one for relationships."

Chloe took a deep breath and willed herself to remain hopeful before Beca could explain.

"Okay…"

"It's, it's-" Chloe could see Beca curse her breath, though the exact words didn't quite reach her Chloe's ears. Chloe attempted not to feel hurt by Beca's agitated state. "You're you and I'm me, and that equation doesn't work."

She took a few steps towards Beca. "Why not?"

Beca rolled her eyes, and Chloe tried to not take her cold stature too personally.

"You know perfectly _why_ , Chloe."

"What if I told you we could work around that?" Chloe pressed, just a few steps separating her from Beca. Her hand found Beca's jaw. "I like you, Beca."

"Fuck," Beca let out, lowering her gaze. Chloe watched helplessly as she shut herself off. Her grey eyes had switched off any emotion when she glanced back up. Chloe swallowed with uneasiness in apprehension for Beca's next words. "I can't do this."

She turned around, and Chloe stared at her back in utter disbelief, hand falling back to her side. "So you're just going to _leave_?"

Beca stopped and span around. Her throat bobbed up and down in a difficult swallow.

"I'm sorry. It's for your own good. You deserve a lot better."

"I think I can decide that for myself!" Chloe shouted after her as Beca walked away, her dog trotting behind her. "Beca!"

Beca didn't stop, and Chloe didn't have the heart to fight that battle anymore. She was tired of being the one to reach out. Maybe she had been wrong, and Aubrey had been right. Maybe Beca wasn't relationship material.

And maybe Chloe wasn't strong enough to fight for them both.

* * *

It had been three days. Three days without any news of Beca, and it was starting to get unbearable to Chloe. She kept replaying their kiss over and over again. It was better than anything she had ever imagined and had ignited a fire deep within the pit of her stomach, leaving her craving for more.

But that fire had quickly been extinguished by Beca's rebuttal and bolt action.

"Okay, spill," Stacie said as she closed her locker. Chloe startled, lost in her thoughts as she sat on the bench, staring at her open locker. "You've been off for days now. What happened with Beca?"

"I kissed her."

"What!?" Stacie's squeal prompted Chloe to cover her ears until it passed. "On Christmas Eve? Is that what I interrupted in the bathroom?"

"No, not on Christmas Eve. Two days ago, she took me to this baseball lane thing where you can practice hitting the balls."

Stacie sat next to Chloe, listening intently.

"Okay?"

"She took me there because I got her tickets for a Yankees game in a couple months. I wanted her to teach me some stuff so I wasn't completely oblivious." Chloe paused and sighed. "I couldn't hit the ball right, so she came over to show how I should… stand. I got hot and bothered pretty quickly. After practice we shared some stuff about our families and it felt natural, y'know?" Stacie nodded, though the question was rhetorical. "So I kissed her. And it was amazing, like, probably the best kiss I've ever had. But then she freaked out and told me she couldn't do this."

"Shit, I'm sorry," Stacie winced and wrapped an arm around Chloe's back. "Have you heard from her since?"

"No."

Stacie thought for a moment.

"What's your plan?"

"I don't have any."

Stacie stared at her.

"Well, you're not just going to let her _go_ , are you?"

"I don't know, Stace," Chloe braced her elbows on her thighs and buried her face into her hands. "I'm lost. Maybe it's better that way. She made it very clear she didn't want to be with me, so what's the point?"

"I think she was scared, maybe? I don't know her very well but she doesn't seem like the overly confident type?" Stacie nudged the redhead. "And you can be pretty hands-on when you like someone, too. I would give her some time. See if she reaches out. And I think some time apart would do you good, too. To think it over," Stacie leaned over and kissed her temple. "If she likes you like I think she does, she'll come around, trust me. It's not like you're easy to forget."

Chloe forced a smile.

"I hope you're right."

It was almost the end of shift when Chloe saw Stacie again, though with a totally different demeanor about her. The brunette was resting her head against the cool surface of her locker, hand on the combination when Chloe walked in.

"Stace?" Chloe asked, step faltering. "What's going on?"

"I just lost a patient," Stacie pulled away from her locker and sat on the bench. "Dammit, I thought I would have gotten used to it by now."

"I'm sorry," Chloe said sympathetically and was the one to wrap an arm around Stacie's shoulder. "It's never easy."

Stacie shrugged as she let out a shaky breath.

"There was nothing much I could do, he OD'd."

Chloe paused. She couldn't explain it, but she felt a chill run through her body and her gut instinct told her to inquire for more.

"Do you know his name?"

"No, John Doe. Didn't have any ID on him. He was young though. Mid-twenties, looked sweet."

Chloe cleared her throat and tried to shake the feeling off. This could be anyone. Still, she needed to be sure.

"Is the body already down at the morgue?"

"I don't think so. It was only ten minutes ago," Stacie turned her head to look at her quizzically. "Why?"

"Where was it? What room?"

"Trauma 1. Chloe, what's going on?"

Chloe didn't reply, instead pushed herself to her feet and left the locker room without another word. She marched down to trauma one, and with a shaking hand, pulled the sheet back.

Her heart dropped to her stomach and she brought a hand to her mouth to muffle the gasp that flew from her lips.

It was Benji.


	12. Chapter 12

Chloe laid the sheet back over Benji's body with a shaky hand. She took a step back from the gurney he was stretched on and bent at the waist, bracing her arms over her knees as she inhaled a deep breath.

Her mind was reeling, wondering what had happened, but mostly, where Beca could possibly be.

Her first concern was that she might be in the same state, but nobody had found her. Her small, lifeless body, abandoned somewhere in New York City.

Fear gripping at her limbs, Chloe pushed against the onslaught of tears and straightened, pushing her hair away from her face.

The door flapped open. Chloe twisted her head to find Stacie walking towards her with a concerned expression.

"He...he was Beca's best friend."

Stacie's step faltered as her eyes snapped to the stretcher. "Shit."

"I-" Chloe shook her head to try and organize her chaotic thoughts. "I have to find her. Do you, do you know what ambulance brought him in?"

Stacie nodded, making the rest of the distance to her colleague and friend.

"It was Rachel and Jesse. Ambulance 34."

Chloe's head bobbed up and down at the somewhat good news. At least Rachel knew what Beca looked like. She pushed past Stacie, ignoring her name being called and jogged down the hall, holding on both ends of her stethoscope to keep it from hitting her collarbones.

She spotted her ex's figure by the reception desk and came to a screeching halt by her level, seizing her arm.

"What-"

"You were the one to bring in the OD kid, right? Benji? The one we brought in for stab wounds a month ago?"

The questions rushed out of Chloe's mouth without her being able to take a pause. Rachel looked slightly alarmed, and Chloe couldn't really blame her. She figured she was scary-looking at the moment.

"Yeah. What's going on?" the woman replied hesitantly.

"Did you see Beca there by any chance? The short brunette who rode with us in the ambo?"

"Right, no, I didn't see her. I'm sorry."

Chloe looked upwards to keep her emotions in check and ground her teeth together.

"Will you keep an eye out for her? If you see her on one of your calls or on the street… She has a dog, black and white, about this height-"

"I know, Chloe," Rachel said reassuringly, laying a hand over Chloe's arm. "I know. I'll call you if I see or hear anything, alright?"

Chloe nodded despite feeling anything but alright.

"Okay."

"I have to go," she jerked her head towards the entrance and gave Chloe a sympathetic look. "I'm sure she's fine."

"Yeah…" Chloe agreed half-heartedly.

Eyes flitting to the clock, she realized her shift was now over. She rushed to the locker room to change her clothes and took her phone out to call Tom. Chloe wedged her phone between her ear and shoulder as she reached for her purse and dropped the remaining of her stuff into it.

"Hey. Are you off?" she began anxiously. "I need your help. Can you pick me up from the hospital? I'll explain when you get here."

Chloe quickly walked to the pharmacy, punched the code in and slid inside. Checking her surroundings like the last time she did this, she grabbed a couple of necessities and dropped them into her purse.

Tom arrived ten minutes later. She grasped the handle of his truck and got in.

"I need to find Beca," she announced immediately, even though she and Tom hadn't seen each other at all during the day. "Can you go to the place from last time? In Brooklyn."

Tom nodded and pulled the car into drive, before asking, "What's going on?"

"Benji died. He OD'd, and I have a bad feeling about this. I need to find her before she does something stupid."

"Okay, okay."

Probably sensing her distress, Tom reached and grabbed her hand to give it a gentle squeeze.

"We'll find her."

Chloe nodded, but she wasn't so sure. She didn't know how she would react if Tom died.

As Tom parked in the area, Chloe's eyes were already searching for the familiar figure. She zipped her coat up and waited until Tom was out to start walking. It was getting dark and Chloe felt that uncomfortable vibe the closer she got to the covered ground.

She stopped in front of the first person she could find, who was busy rearranging his tent.

"Hi, excuse me," the glare she got when the guy looked up had her swallow heavily. "I'm looking for Beca. A short brunette with a dog? Do you know where she might be?"

The guy shook his head and Chloe sighed before thanking him anyway, and moving on to the next person she could find.

It went on for several minutes.

She showed them the only picture she had of herself and Beca, but nobody had seen her, or nobody would tell them where she was.

"Let's just go," Chloe said after twenty minutes of inquiring, lowering her gaze in defeat.

"Hey lady!" The pair heard just as they got to the car, to see a woman slightly older than them walking over.

"Yes?"

"I might have some info for you. You're looking for the girl with the red hat, right?"

"Yes," Chloe nodded immediately. "I'm listening."

The older woman rose her eyebrows and Chloe failed to know why she hadn't started talking. She heard Tom sigh next to her and reach inside his coat, pulling out a ten-dollar-bill from his wallet and handing it to her.

"What do you know?" he asked when she grasped it between her fingers.

"I saw her in the Bushwick area a couple hours ago. Was hanging near the cemetery."

"The cemetery?" Chloe echoed to make sure she had heard correctly. Upon getting the woman's confirmation, she turned to Tom. "Alright, thank you."

They both rushed inside the car and took off. They didn't see anyone in the area, even after circling on a larger scale for several minutes in the car.

"This is like searching for a needle in a haystack," Chloe let out in frustration, dropping her head against the headrest. "We're never going to find her."

"I know a homeless spot not far from here, let's go check it out," Tom said as he stirred the vehicle in the opposite direction.

Chloe checked her phone again, but there were no messages or missed calls. Rachel was probably off by now anyway, and she knew Beca didn't have a phone anymore.

She doubted Beca would call her even if she did have one, anyway.

The other spot didn't provide them with more information.

Tom suggested they go home and start again in the morning. Reluctantly, Chloe agreed, not knowing what else they could possibly do as darkness steadily fell around them. She thought about sleeping at the hospital just in case, but Beca now knew where they lived if she needed Chloe.

Chloe's eyes peeled every person they passed by, even though doing this in the nighttime made it more difficult. Just as Tom drove through Brooklyn Heights in direction of the bridge, Chloe spotted a figure with a guitar strapped onto their back.

"Stop!" she told Tom hurriedly, and barely waited for the car to actually stop before stepping out. "Beca!"

Chloe ran to her and stopped in front of her, only to come face to face with a thin man, about Beca's height. She recognized Beca's guitar case stickers though, and knew for a fact that it was hers.

"Where did you get this guitar case?" Chloe asked, preventing the man from walking past her.

"Move, I don't have anything to say to you."

Tom appeared by her side and flashed his badge.

"NYPD, we have a few questions to ask you, sir."

The man grumbled something under his breath, but nodded reluctantly.

"We're looking for someone who appears to be the owner of those two items. How did you get them?"

"She sold them to me."

"She _sold_ them to you?" Tom asked with a suspicious tone. "For money or drugs?"

"Tom, it's not important," Chloe cut him off, laying a hand on his arm. It wasn't like they would arrest him. "When was this?"

The man shrugged.

"Dunno. About fifteen minutes ago."

"Oh my god," Chloe gasped, already looking around them. "Where?"

The stranger pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

"By the end of the Brooklyn bridge. She was going the other direction."

"Thank you!" Chloe shouted, as she was already running towards Tom's car. They were just a hundred yards from the bridge and decided to explore on foot, splitting the sides. Chloe stopped the first person she saw. "Excuse me sir, have you seen a short brunette, about this size? With a white and black dog."

"No, sorry."

Chloe cursed under her breath but thanked him anyway and continued her jog ahead. Her mind was reeling; they were so close yet so far, and the panic gripping at her chest made it difficult for her to focus and remain optimistic.

She caught up with Tom about fifteen minutes later on the other side of the bridge, who was shaking his head before she was even at his level.

"Fuck!" Chloe shouted, running a frustrated hand through her hair. She battled against the onslaught of tears that were rapidly filling her eyes and willed her vision to clear as she looked around them frantically, hoping, begging to spot a woman and her dog.

Chloe froze when she heard a sound. Barking. It was faint, barely audible over the sound of traffic, but she was certain it wasn't a figment of her imagination.

"Do you hear that?" She asked Tom, seizing his wrist to get his attention.

"Yeah," Tom said after a beat, tilting his head to the side. "I think it's coming from under the bridge!"

Chloe spotted the stairs and bolted to a sprint, Tom hot on her heels. She ran down the steps, almost missing a few in the process and stopped at the bottom, waiting for another bark to indicate in what direction they should go.

"This way!" she shouted when she heard it again on her left. Her heartbeat was hammering in her ears as she ran, but it was fainter than the barks as she willed her earing to focus on those. She went over a portion of grass and then towards a dark recess. Tom got past her, his torch giving them the needed light to see ahead.

"Chloe, over here!"

Chloe's heart jumped to her throat as she reached him. A small body, no doubt Beca's, laid on the ground, seemingly unconscious as Jazz kept alternating between barking and nudging his unconscious owner.

"No, no, no," Chloe murmured under her breath, rushing to Beca's side and kneeling by her. She pressed two fingers to Beca's neck and waited, barely breathing, to feel a pulse.

"She's not breathing," a sob caught in her throat as she got into position to start CPR, dropping her bag to the floor. "She's not breathing."

Chloe started pressing onto Beca's chest with both hands, all the while looking for evidence on the ground. Her eyes locked on a syringe laying on the ground and saw the fresh puncture wound on the inside of Beca's arm.

"What can I do?" Tom asked, tone frantic, though it came out softly.

"Dammit," Chloe grumbled under her breath, blinking rapidly to clear her vision. "You know CPR, right?"

"Y-yeah."

"Get over here and switch with me. Watch for the needle on the ground."

Tom took over, while Chloe reached inside her bag to get what she needed. She pulled out a syringe and ripped the bag open, taking the cap off with her teeth and spitting it out on the ground. She grabbed the bottle of naloxone and sucked the appropriate amount into the syringe.

Willing her hand to stop shaking, she bent over Beca's arm to look for a vein.

"Shit."

"What is it?" Tom asked, starting to get breathless over giving CPR. Chloe paused and checked for a pulse a second time, but didn't find any.

"Her veins are collapsed," Chloe focused and finally managed to find a suitable vein a few seconds later. She pushed the liquid in and tossed the syringe back inside her bag. "After the next five compressions, you stop, okay?"

Tom nodded, and the second he stopped, Chloe bent down, pinched Beca's nose and gave her mouth-to-mouth breathing.

"Okay, same pattern."

"C'mon, Bec," Chloe whispered before breathing into her mouth again. Her voice finally cracked under the unbearable weight of emotions that took over her body. "Don't do this to me, you have no _right_."

A cracking sound was registered by her ears and she twisted her head to see a panicked look painted on Tom's face.

"Oh god, what did I do?"

"Cracked a rib, it's alright," Chloe answered before breathing for Beca once more. Pressing a hand to Beca's carotid, Chloe waited. The blocking medicine should have taken effect by now and given Beca's heart the needed push.

"I think we should call an ambulance, Chloe."

Chloe held her hand up to silence him. It was faint, but definitely a pulse she felt thud underneath her digits.

"I have a pulse! We need to get to the hospital. Go get the car!"

Tom nodded and immediately leapt to his feet, disappearing around the corner as he ran to get the vehicle. Chloe took off her coat and laid it over Beca's body, setting the brunette's head over her lap as she checked her pulse again.

"Don't die on me, sweetie," she bent down as another sob escaped her mouth, and pressed her lips to Beca's forehead. Tears finally leaked from her eyes, dripping from her chin to land on Beca's face. "I love you. Don't give up, _please_."

She didn't know how long Tom was gone for. She kept her focus on Beca, making sure her chest was rising and falling at a steady pace. Tom lifted her up effortlessly as soon as he got back, and Chloe grabbed Jazz's leash to tug him along, bending down to pick up Beca's backpack, too. Tom laid Beca on the back seat and Chloe climbed in with her, placing her head over her lap once more.

She pushed Beca's hair back from her forehead lovingly, tracing her eyebrows and jawline as Tom wove through traffic easily, the siren he kept in his personal car, just in case, giving him priority at each intersection.

Chloe called Stacie over the ride, knowing the tall brunette was still on shift, and told her to meet her with a gurney and a trauma team by the ambulance bay.

It was a blur when they got to the hospital. Stacie was barking out instructions to her team while Chloe told her everything she knew.

"She already had 2 milligrams of Naloxone half-an-hour ago."

"Okay, Chloe, I'll take it from here," Stacie said gently as she rolled the gurney inside the ER.

Chloe let go of Beca's hand reluctantly, holding on until the brunette's fingertips left hers.

She stood in the hallway, motionless as she watched Beca being rolled further and further away from her. Shoulders beginning to shake from contained sobs, Chloe felt an arm around her back and broke down in Tom's chest a second later.

"Shh," she heard his soothing voice before a kiss was pressed into her hair. "She'll be okay."

Chloe let him lead her on a chair by the reception desk, and she sat on it, staring blankly at the ground as she went over the possible scenarios.

She knew Stacie was doing everything she could but Chloe also knew the consequences of heroin overdose. Beca could be brain-dead for all she knew, and there was nothing they could do about it, if that was the case.

Chloe blew out a shaky breath as her mind locked onto that scenario and buried her face into her hands as her body resumed to shaking with uncontrolled sobs.

It was another half an hour before Stacie came out of the trauma room, and Chloe jumped to her feet, Tom mirroring her actions by her side.

"You got to her in time," Stacie said immediately, lips tugging upwards in a gentle smile. "We checked for brain activity and everything looks normal. We're still waiting for the lab results for renal failure, but her blood pressure is gradually coming back up. She's out of the woods."

Chloe let her head hang back as her eyes slipped shut in relief.

"Thank god."

She reached out and pulled Stacie into a tight hug.

"Thank you," she choked out, willing herself to hold back her tears; she had already cried enough today.

"You were the one that did most of the job," Stacie assured her as she hugged her back before pulling away. "You wanna see her?"

Chloe nodded, but was interrupted when Amy called her.

"The chief wants to see you."

"I'm not on shift," Chloe told her with a frown.

Amy shrugged, phone still in her hand.

"Said it was an emergency and you needed to go up now."

"Okay…" Chloe drawled out, turning back to Stacie. "Can you stay with her until I'm back? I don't want her to wake up without a familiar face around. She might bolt if she's healthy enough to go."

"I'll stay, too," Tom said, laying a hand over Chloe's shoulder.

Chloe took the elevator up to her chief's office and was surprised to see the hospital general director there, as well as the hospital representative.

"Dr. Beale, take a seat," Dr. Abernathy-McKadden motioned towards the chair in front of the desk.

Chloe swallowed hard, but did as she was told.

"What's this about?" she asked softly, tucking both hand between her thighs.

"It has come to our attention that you've been taking supplies from the pharmacy and replacing them a few days later. This occurred once, a month ago, and tonight, you brought in a patient claiming you had administered Narcan," the chief spelt out slowly, gaze hard as she looked at Chloe. Chloe's heart was thudding hard in her ears once more. "Is this true?"

Chloe cleared her throat as she glanced down at her lap.

"Yes."

"Are you aware that this goes against the US medical code?" John Smith spoke up.

Chloe lifted her head and nodded.

"Yes, I'm aware. And I apologize for what I did. I-I had to help a friend."

The hospital representative hummed, folding his hands over the table surface.

"That reason will not be good enough for the hospital board when we discuss if you should be stripped of your medical license, Dr. Beale."

Chloe's head shot up.

"My-my medical license?"

Dr. Abernathy-McKadden nodded.

"You broke the rules clearly stated in your contract. I don't see any other outcome than this."

"But-but, it was to _help_ someone!" Chloe cried out, waving her hand madly. "I didn't take those drugs for myself! You can run a drug test on me! It will come out clean!"

John Smith sighed.

"Regardless of the motive, this will be presented at _the_ board. Until then, you are suspended from your duties."

Chloe's face crumbled as her mushy brain aknowledged the seriousness of the situation.

" _What?_ "

She looked at her chief, desperate for a reaction from her part.

"I'm sorry," the blonde woman breathed out, breaking eye-contact with Chloe. "There's nothing I can do for you right now. However, you're one of our best doctors in this hospital, so I will fight for you at that board meeting."

"No need. I'll defend myself," Chloe swallowed and squared her shoulders back, locking her jaw. "If I could do it again I would, anyway. I could have lost one of the most important persons in my life if I hadn't taken those drugs out of the pharmacy. I don't regret any of this. As far as my career goes, _she's_ more important."

Chloe briefly wondered where the outburst came from, if she could blame it on the emotional exhaustion, or downright insanity, but she knew she was speaking the truth.

It was as clear as the day in her mind. She was in love with Beca and would trade her job for her if that meant Beca was going to be alright.

As she exited the office minutes later, body and soul drained of every ounce of energy, Chloe found Tom waiting outside for her. He pulled her into a tight hug, even though he didn't know what went down. He backed away and smiled.

"Beca's awake," Chloe welcomed a huge gush of air into her lungs. "She's asking for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those wondering, the title for this fic comes from the Red Hot Chilli Peppers song (one of my favorites ever). Anthony Kiedis wrote it to express his loneliness and the impact drugs have/had on his life. I guess I just couldn't resist having one of the characters say the line in this chapter.


	13. Chapter 13

Chloe opened the door tentatively and popped her head in. Stacie was currently examining Beca and had yet to notice the additional presence. Beca had, though, and acknowledged Chloe with an expression that the redhead couldn't quite read.

"Hi," she called out softly, stepping fully into the room. Stacie finished what she was doing and adjusted the heart sensor on Beca's finger before patting her hand.

"Everything looks good. Pressure is back to normal and the test results didn't show any organ malfunction," Stacie explained, looking at Beca. "You were lucky Chloe found you when she did."

Beca remained silent, and Chloe didn't know if it was out of shame, or worse, if it was because she hadn't wanted to be found in the first place.

"I'll leave you two a moment. Call me if you need anything," Chloe was about to tell her she could handle it, but Stacie beat her to the punch. "Don't take care of it yourself, it would only worsen your case. Chief's orders."

Stacie's tone wasn't bitter, nor was it understanding. Chloe didn't know what to make of it, really. Stacie nonetheless smiled at her and squeezed her shoulder on her way out.

"What did she mean by that?" Beca slurred out, head resting over the pillow. "Worsen your case?"

Chloe stepped closer to the bed. "I, uh, I got into some trouble with the administration. Nothing to worry about." She lied easily, knowing Beca would blame herself for it if she told the truth. Dragging a stool to the bed, Chloe sat on it and refrained from taking Beca's hand. She didn't know where they stood. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I almost died." Beca stated matter-of-factly in a quiet voice.

"Was that what you wanted?" Chloe found herself asking, voice cracking at the mere thought of it. She knew she was being straightforward, but she _needed_ to know. "Was it a suicide attempt? I'm asking as a friend, not as a doctor. I won't send you to psych."

"No." Beca admitted after a while. She was wringing her hands, looking anywhere but at Chloe. "It wasn't a suicide attempt. There was just… so much pain. More than I could take. More than the usual amount I take could make go away. So I took more. Too much, but it was too late when I realized."

Chloe nodded, and allowed herself to reach for Beca's hand. Her breathing halted for a second, before she relaxed when Beca didn't pull away.

"I'm, I'm sorry about Benji."

Beca cast her eyes out the window as she spoke quietly. "I don't want to talk about it."

Chloe nodded in understanding. "Okay."

"I don't want to do this anymore," Beca admitted after a while, bloodshot eyes meeting Chloe's hesitantly. Chloe tilted her head to the side, wondering what Beca was referring to. "I don't want to use anymore. I feel like I'm slipping away, and I want to _live_. I just… I don't know where to start."

"I'll help," Chloe immediately told her, lacing their fingers together as she locked eyes with Beca's unfocused ones. The feeling of relief that had seized her chest over Beca's words was indescribable. "If you want me to."

Beca's head bobbed up and down several times. She inhaled sharply. "I do. I can't do this on my own. I've tried before, but I still lived in the street at the time and I had nobody to lean on. The relapse was too tempting when everyone around me was still using."

Chloe nodded understandingly. "It will be a tough road though, you know that, right?"

Beca blinked several times to clear her vision from tears. "I know."

"But I'll be here every step of the way, I promise. I need you to make me one promise, though?"

"Shoot."

"To not give up when it gets hard? To not flee if the pain gets too much?" Chloe cleared her throat, "Not only physical but emotional pain as well. The one that heroin suppressed all this time. Because it _will_ hurt, Beca. I know you're strong enough, but I worry you'll bolt and give up when it happens."

"I know what it's like. Like… the worst flu you've ever had. If you're there, then maybe things will be different this time."

Chloe felt her heart settle down in her chest, beating at a normal rhythm for the first time in the last twelve hours.

"I will," she repeated, just in case it still wasn't as clear as day. "However, I'm only a doctor, Beca. I'm not specialized in rehabilitation. I can offer you moral support and help with pain relief, but I think it's important that you take part in a program at some point."

The brunette pursed her lips, remaining silent for a stretch. "Can I think about that for a bit?"

"Sure," Chloe replied with a smile, squeezing Beca's hand. "In the meantime, you'll be released, so I was thinking you could stay with Tom and I? I'll have some time off from work for a while, so I can help full-time."

She expected Beca to refuse, but to her surprise, the brunette nodded once more. It was the first real proof that she really wanted to quit.

"Okay."

Chloe puffed out a breath, not able to fight back the tears screaming to get out. Beca frowned and moved her hand from Chloe's to cup her cheek.

"Hey," she drawled out, grazing her thumb over Chloe's cheekbone. "Why are you crying?"

Chloe breathed in shakily, leaning into the touch. Beca's palm was warm against her skin, and it managed to anchor Chloe down. "You just scared the hell out of me, Bec."

"I'm sorry," Beca said after a beat, hand falling back onto the mattress. "I scared myself, too. I can still feel myself slipping away and thinking that it was it, that I had gone too far. I thought about my mom," Beca paused for a beat. "and you."

"About _me_?" Chloe asked, voice sticking to her throat.

"Well, yeah," Beca confirmed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She grabbed Chloe's hand and laced their fingers once more. "I hate the way we left things, I just… I got scared."

"It's okay," Chloe gulped. "You-you don't have to explain. I uh, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable and ruining our time together."

"You didn't," Beca interrupted, giving Chloe's hand a comforting squeeze. "I had a great time. The greatest time I've had in a long while. I just… I don't trust myself when it comes to relationships."

Chloe blinked, trying to process her Beca's words. She didn't know what to reply to that, didn't know if Beca meant that she wanted to be with her but she was too scared, or if Chloe's brain was making things up.

A knock at the door interrupted her train of thoughts, and they both twisted their heads to see Tom pop his in.

"Someone wanted to see you," Opening the door further, Jazz strode into the room and upon seeing his owner, leapt on the bed and proceeded to attack Beca's face with licks. Beca laughed as Chloe tried to keep the wires clear from being ripped off.

Jazz eventually settled down and rolled into a ball by Beca, setting his nose on her lap. Beca started to stroke his head repeatedly.

"We found you thanks to him," Chloe said, eyes misty after witnessing the exchange. "We knew you were around the bridge and we heard his barks. He led us to you."

"You're a good boy," Beca whispered to her dog, who whined in response and shuffled even closer. She cut her eyes back to Chloe and Tom, who were both smiling at the scene. "Thank you. Y'know, for saving my life."

"Eh," Tom said with a shrug and nonchalant expression, which pulled a much-needed laugh out of all three of them. Beca winced and held her side, causing Tom to grimace as well. "Sorry about the cracked rib."

"It's okay,"

Tom's face suddenly lit up, "Oh, I brought back something else." He left the room for a few seconds while Beca and Chloe exchanged wary looks. Tom strode back in carrying Beca's guitar case.

Beca's eyes widened. "How did you-"

"I went back over there and drove around until I found the guy. It was a long shot but… found him at some point. Made him an offer he couldn't refuse."

"Oh," Beca let out as Tom set the guitar by the wall. "I don't know when I'll be able to pay you back."

"Don't worry about it," Tom immediately said, waving her off as he approached the bed. "Just, get better, yeah? For you, for this one over here," he nodded towards the dog, then at Chloe as he laid a hand over the redhead's shoulder. "And for her."

Beca cleared her throat, eyes finding Chloe's and holding her gaze steady. "I'll try my best."

* * *

Beca was discharged the following day. Chloe was at the hospital first thing in the morning, striding into Beca's room with a bright smile and warm greeting.

"Are you always this cheery in the morning?" Beca mumbled as she sat up with a wince, moving to the edge of the bed. The light teasing in her tone made Chloe smile as she set the bag of clothes by Beca on the mattress.

"Yes."

Beca shuddered. "Yikes."

"Hey," Chloe warned teasingly while pointing a finger at her. "Behave."

Beca clamped her mouth shut and eyed the change of clothes. She smiled as she set eyes on Chloe's Harvard sweater, pulling it out a second later.

"Are you okay to change by yourself or do you need help?" Chloe asked, laying a hand atop Beca's knee to get her attention.

"I think I'll be fine," Beca replied. "Thanks, though."

"Okay, how about I get this guy out," she motioned to Jazz who was still on the hospital bed. "So he can get his business done and we'll be back, yeah?"

Beca hummed in approval and Chloe left a second later, Jazz trotting beside her. They went for a quick walk around the block and when they returned, Stacie was standing by the entrance of the ER.

"Hey," Chloe greeted cautiously, coming to a stop a few feet from her friend. Stacie smiled at her briefly, hands slipping inside her pockets. Chloe sighed. "Are you mad at me for some reason?"

"Mad?" Stacie frowned, shaking her head. "No. I just don't understand how you could be so stupid."

Chloe recoiled, jaw dropping. She wasn't expecting that. " _Excuse_ me?"

"Stealing drugs from the hospital, Chloe?" Stacie whispered, even though it was useless, everybody knew what had gone down by now. "What were you thinking?!"

"I didn't think, alright?" Chloe spat, slapping her hand against her thigh. "I didn't have _time_ to think. I was just doing what I thought was best to help Beca and her friend."

"You were just too blinded by your love for her to make any rational decision."

"I was _right_. The system doesn't help those people like it should. If it weren't for me, Benji would have died long before now and Beca would be dead, too. You _know_ that."

Stacie pondered for a while, jaw twisting repeatedly. Eventually, she sighed and looked down. "I'm sorry. I'm just mad that you might lose your medical license over a mistake."

"It wasn't a mistake, Stacie. I knew what I was doing and what the risks were. And you knew Beca wouldn't have recovered the way she did if I didn't have that drug with me," Chloe sighed and shrugged, tone softening over her next few words. "I would do it again in the blink of an eye if I had to."

"Wow," Stacie let out, shoulders slumping in shock. "And here I was, two months ago, saying you would never trade your career for anything. I guess I was wrong."

"I wouldn't have. But then Beca happened."

Stacie nodded, a more honest smile stretching her lips this time. "I hope she makes you happy."

Chloe dipped her head down, in a poor attempt to hide her blush. Beca's words echoed in her ears. "We, uh, we're not there yet. We're not together. She said she isn't ready for a relationship."

Stacie hummed and winked. "Only a matter of time, then."

Chloe took a deep breath. She didn't want to be too optimistic and get her heart shattered if things didn't work out. Beca had a rough road ahead of her. "We'll see."

"What about the hospital?"

"I had a blood draw and urine sample done on order of the Chief to prove that I didn't take those drugs for myself. I don't know when the board meeting is, yet."

"Right," Stacie breathed out. "I hope it all works out."

"So do I."

* * *

"Dr. Beale!" The desk receptionist, Amy's colleague, called out just as she and Beca were about to step through the doors. Chloe winced and turned around.

"Yes?"

"The chief wants you to sign over the patients you took care of who need to come back for check-ups."

Chloe cursed under her breath, trying to ignore Beca's eyes boring a hole into the side of her face, and walked to the desk. She signed all four charts and shoved them back into the woman's hands.

"There."

Chloe ignored her thanks, spinning around to walk back to Beca. She grabbed Beca's backpack and guitar from where she had set them on the floor and they resumed their slow walk to Chloe's car in the parking lot. She helped Beca inside, waited for Jazz to climb up, and rounded the car to get behind the driver's seat.

"How are you feeling?" She asked once she had stirred onto the main road, chancing a look towards Beca.

"Not too bad." Beca mumbled. There was a bit of silence, during which Beca stared at Chloe. "What's going on at the hospital? I saw how people were looking at you, at _us_. Are you in trouble?"

Chloe shook her head, eyes focused on the road. "I'll be fine."

Beca turned slightly sideways to face her, with a bit of difficulty given her cracked rib. "That doesn't answer my question," Chloe looked at her briefly. She found those compelling grey eyes staring back at her with a soft expression. "Please be honest with me?"

"Someone ratted me out for taking drugs and other supplies from the hospital pharmacy. It obviously goes against the hospital rules and the US code of medicine."

"Chloe,"

Chloe took a deep breath; saying the words out loud made it even more real. "I may or may not lose my medical license."

" _What?_ " Beca's voice had grown quieter and she had stated to wring her hands, an anxious look taking her face captive. She glanced down. "I-I don't know what to say, this is all my fault."

"No," Chloe checked her rearview mirror, put her blinker on and parked on the side of the road. Unbuckling her seatbelt, she turned to face Beca and laid a hand over the brunette's shoulder. "This isn't your fault. I took my responsibilities and I knew this could happen. I didn't think it would but… what's done is done and I wouldn't go back even if I could."

Beca swallowed, eyes shy when they met Chloe's. "You wouldn't?"

"Beca, if I didn't have that drug with me last night, your heart would have never restarted on time. You could have suffered serious brain or organ damage, or… you could have died." Chloe paused, allowing the information to settle with Beca. She reached out and pushed a wisp of Beca's hair back behind her ear. "If I had a choice, I would do it again. Not a doubt in my mind."

Beca breathed out slowly and closed the gap between them to pull Chloe in a loose hug. She buried her face into Chloe's neck and Chloe closed her eyes, trying to burn that feeling she couldn't quite describe into her mind.

It felt like home.

Chloe pulled away and wiped away the tears she didn't know had fallen down her cheeks.

She squeezed Beca's arm. "Let's go home."

The rest of the ride was uneventful, spent with soft music playing to fill the white noise. Beca's hand had slid into Chloe's at some point and Chloe thought she could definitely get used to those little, simple touches.

Beca climbed the four flights of stairs with some difficulty given her still recovering body and her damaged rib. Chloe followed closely behind her, a hand on the small of her back.

Chloe opened the door and motioned for Beca to go through. She set her things on the kitchen counter and turned back to see Beca just standing there, not really knowing what to do with herself. Checking her watch, she realized it was only ten A.M.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, even though she could figure out the answer on her own.

"No, not really," Beca replied quietly, tugging at the ends of Chloe's sweater so it covered her palms. Her gaze was fleeting again. "Is it too early for the pain killers, yet?"

Chloe noted Beca's state and frowned. The painkillers Stacie had prescribed were obviously a lot less strong than heroin, and Beca's body was starting to show craving signs.

"Not for another few hours," Chloe said with a pained smile. She eyed the prescription bottle in the plastic bag resting on the counter, hesitating over her next question. "Do you trust yourself or should I hide them?"

Beca's gaze was desperate as she spoke in a shaky voice. "You-you should keep them with you."

"Okay," Chloe murmured softly, sensing Beca's distress. She took the bottle out and slipped it into the front pocket of her hoodie. It seemed like a good alternative. Approaching Beca, she ran her hands up and down the shorter woman's arms in a soothing gesture. "It will be okay."

Beca nodded faintly. "I know."

"I got some stuff that would help."

Chloe backed away and resumed sorting through the hospital stuff as well as the groceries she had picked up on her way to the hospital to help Beca get through the first steps of withdrawal: bland foods such as bananas, rice and toasts to prevent nausea, ibuprofen for cramps, different brands of tea, a notebook and dog food and toys for their added companion.

Beca watched on curiously as she emptied the bags and walked closer. She smiled upon seeing the dog toys, before grasping the notebook.

"What's this for?"

"I called Aubrey last night to have some advice. She told me it would help if you wrote down a list of why you want to quit using. Only if you want to, of course."

"No, that sounds good." Beca agreed, flipping through the blank pages. "Aubrey has been through this before?"

"She's the friend I told you about when we first met. The one that runs the rehab center upstate."

"Oh."

"She told me she had a spot opening up in a few days. It's up to you, but I think it's necessary."

"Okay," Beca said with a nod, and Chloe paused, slightly bewildered by her quick agreement.

"Okay?"

"I trust you. If you think it's necessary, I'll do it."

Chloe kept her eyes from widening too much. "I do. I'll give her a call, then."

Beca nodded, burying her hands inside the front pocket of Chloe's hoodie. "Do you mind if I go lie down for a bit?"

"No, of course not," Chloe offered a smile. "You know where my bedroom is."

Beca paused. "I was thinking I would take the couch?"

Chloe furrowed her brows. "You'll be more comfortable in my bedroom trust me. The couch isn't as nice as if looks."

"I'm not going to kick you out of your own room, Chloe."

Chloe waved if off. "I'll be fine. I'll probably crash with Tom. He's used to it."

Beca's expression turned amused. "You guys have a weird relationship."

"We're just friends. Close friends, but that's it."

"So I gathered," Beca spoke with a smirk, letting her sentence hang between them. Chloe blushed, head dipping down briefly.

"I, I didn't want you to find out this way. I wanted to tell you but…"

"It's okay, Chlo. You don't have to justify yourself. I was just glad I wasn't imagining stuff."

Chloe tilted her head to the side. "Stuff?"

"The, um, chemistry between us." Beca managed through a flush, gaze fastening on her shoes. Chloe chuckled and was about to say something, but Beca beat her to it. "I'm just going to go."

Beca awkwardly pointed her thumb over her shoulder, and spun around without another word, walking in the direction of Chloe's room. Jazz followed her and Chloe held her breath until she heard the door shut.

Refraining from showing Beca more than friendly affection was bound to be difficult if the brunette kept talking like that.

She busied herself with cleaning up the apartment a little bit, took a shower, took Jazz out for a walk since Beca was sound asleep, and finally took the time to sit down on the couch and start a book, figuring she would have time to finish it, since she was now jobless.

She still had to wrap her mind around the fact that she wouldn't be going into work in the morning.

When nighttime fell upon the city, Chloe went to check on Beca, carrying a bottle of water and two pills. She shook the younger girl awake gently and sat on the side of the bed as Beca sat up.

Setting the back of her hand over Beca's forehead, she trailed it down her cheek and jaw gently. Beca watched on, curiosity flashing in her eyes.

"Just checking you don't have any fever." She explained but couldn't fight off a blush that probably betrayed her.

Beca's hum told her she didn't believe her. "You're just looking for excuses to touch me, Red."

Chloe choked on her own saliva. "Someone's spirits are running high."

"Sorry, that was a bit crass," Beca added as an after-thought with a wince. "I didn't mean touch me in that way obviously, just…" she groaned and face palmed herself. "I'll just shut up now."

Chloe laughed, shaking her head at Beca's antics. "Here," she handed the two pills for Beca to take, along with the bottle. Beca looked at them with a frown.

"Can I… _not_ take them?"

Chloe sat back, setting the items on the bedside table. "Are you sure? This should be gradual, not all at once."

"I know but… I don't want them."

Chloe knew deep down Beca would regret in the morning but nodded anyway. "Alright. I'll let you sleep."

"Goodnight, Chlo."

Chloe turned back when she was by the doorway and gave Beca a soft smile. "Goodnight, Beca."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments! There will be two more chapters after this one.

The first signs of withdrawal didn't come in as soon as the next morning. Beca was fine until noon hit, and that was the first symptoms appeared: paleness, difficulty to focus, tremor.

She tried to hide it and pretend she was fine, but Chloe wasn't dumb. She watched as Beca pushed her food around her plate during lunch, not able to take more than two bites.

"Beca, I think you should take some Buprenorphine. Stacie prescribed you some to help."

Beca blinked. "Buprenorphine? That-those are opioids."

"I know, but cutting yourself off from drugs overnight is bound to be more difficult, not to mention dangerous. It's better if you do it gradually. Besides, Buprenorphine is a lot less strong than heroin."

Beca pondered it for a moment, Chloe could see the conflict in her eyes. "Okay, let's say I take it. How do I stop using it afterwards?"

"Gradually. You take a smaller amount each day until you don't need it anymore."

Beca scoffed and looked upwards to the ceiling. Chloe frowned, having difficulty to grasp Beca's behavior. "You make it sound like it's easy," Beca drew in a deep breath through her nose, releasing it through her teeth. "Look, I'm not cutting heroin to replace it with something else. I-I don't want to fall into another trap. I want to quit _all_ of it."

"I get that," Chloe stated understandingly, reaching across the table to lie her hand over Beca's. "But your body is so used to being relieved that it will protest. Painfully. You _know_ that, you've been through it before."

"I don't want it," Beca said with a shake of the head, pleading eyes meeting Chloe's concerned ones. "I can't take it, I don't trust myself to quit it in a few weeks or months from now."

Chloe inhaled sharply to try and reign her opinions in. She knew Beca would regret this decision later, but didn't want to argue more, afraid that Beca might feel like she was backing her up in a corner.

"Okay. If that's what you want."

"Promise me something?" Beca's request made Chloe look up. She nodded. "At some point I'll be begging for it. Whatever it is. Powder, pain killers or even cough syrup. I need you to promise me not to give me anything."

Chloe's eyes widened sligthyl. "Beca,"

"Please? And I apologize in advance for what I may do or say when it gets to that point. Just know that it isn't the real me."

Chloe swallowed painfully, feeling the weight of Beca's request press down on her shoulders. "Okay."

"Do you want to go lie down?" she asked a while later as Beca slid the plate away from herself. The brunette shrugged, closing her eyes briefly as she gave in to a shudder.

"Maybe."

"Okay, just call me if you need anything."

Beca nodded as she hugged her upper body. "Thanks."

Chloe watched her go, knowing perfectly well that this was only the beginning of a long battle for the brunette and that there would be little she could for her once it hit Beca full force. Dreading the next couple of days, Chloe tried to busy her mind with catching up with bills, all the while attempting to prevent herself from checking on Beca every five minutes.

Beca ended up sleeping the rest of the afternoon and well into the night. It wasn't until three AM that Chloe heard the door of her own bedroom open and close, but she remained in Tom's bed. Her best friend was doing the night-shift and wouldn't be home until another few hours.

Chloe listened intently though, ears perking up when she heard some noise coming from the kitchen. She figured Beca was just getting a snack and rolled back onto her side, intending to go back to sleep. The noise intensified, and soon it sounded as though Beca was emptying the cabinets.

Frowning, Chloe flipped the light switch on and stumbled into the dark hallway, leftover sleep numbing her limbs momentarily.

"Beca?" she called out as to not frighten the brunette. Beca barely acknowledged her as she looked frantically inside the cupboard above the sink.

"Where are they?"

Chloe blinked; her brain was still in a foggy state. "What?"

"The-the pills," Beca stuttered as she lifted a shaking hand to tug her hair back from her face. "The painkillers, where are they? I-I need them."

Chloe's shoulders slumped as she took in Beca's state. She knew this part would come eventually, but it didn't make it any easier for Chloe to witness.

"Bec," she tried softly, taking a step closer. "I have them. Remember? You asked me to keep them."

Beca paused and stared at her. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and the whole demeanor she gave off was making Chloe gradually uncomfortable. She wasn't scared of Beca, but she knew her current state might make her do something irrational.

"I-I need them, Chloe," Beca squeaked, giving in to a shiver. She closed the gap between she and Chloe and seized her arms, resting her forehead against Chloe's sternum. Chloe tensed slightly, stunned by Beca's behavior. " _Please._ "

As Beca's body was almost flushed against hers, Chloe could feel the heat radiating off the brunette. It was clear she was experiencing a high fever. Chloe was close to giving in, but the promise she made to Beca earlier echoed in her ears. She had breeched Beca's trust before, and wasn't about to do it again, as difficult as it may be, now.

"You don't want them, Beca," she whispered, pulling away slightly as she struggled out of Beca's hold. She reached out to cup Beca's face and forced her to look at her. "You told me that earlier, remember? I know it's hard, but you'll be mad at me, and at yourself if you give in."

A sob wrenched itself from Beca's throat and rippled inside Chloe's chest as the younger woman's legs gave out from underneath her, knees hitting the tile floor as she buried her face in her hands.

"It _hurts_."

The break in Beca's voice made Chloe swallow heavily as she hurried to get a cloth and soak it with cold water.

"I know, sweetie. I'm sorry," kneeling down, she moved the cloth from Beca's face to her neck and chest, as she only wore a tank top. "Is it your stomach?"

" _Everything_."

Beca whined and twisted, rolling herself into a ball on her side and letting out a painful moan. Chloe wrapped her arms around her and pulled her upwards so that she was leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Beca, open your eyes," she murmured, raking her fingers through the brunette's hair as she crouched in front of her. Beca whimpered, face scrunching up in pain. "Beca, look at me, honey."

Her grey eyes finally opened and locked onto Chloe's. Beca's pain was slowly seeping into Chloe's bones, seizing her limbs in overwhelming ache.

"Focus on why you want to do this," Chloe told her, hand cupping her face gently. "Focus on all the things you'll be able to do when you're free of this thing," she encouraged as her thumb grazed Beca's cheekbone. "Focus on my eyes, and my voice. You are stronger than this, I promise."

Beca broke eye-contact after a second and wrapped her arms around herself as cramps overtook her body. She began to cry silently, and Chloe was at loss as to what to do to relieve her pain.

Before she could think of anything, Beca's body jerked sharply, and she vomited over herself and Chloe. The redhead winced before setting into motion.

"Okay, it's okay," she spoke over Beca's whines of pain and discomfort. She helped her stand up slowly, and kept her arms around her, shuffling steadily to the bathroom. "Let's go take a shower, yeah?"

"I'm sorry," Beca said once she was sat on the floor by the toilet as Chloe helped her remove her sweatpants.

"Don't apologize," Chloe requested immediately, blindly tossing the pajamas in the laundry bin. "It's part of the process. Your body is not happy and is showing it. Nothing you can do about it except hanging in there."

Beca gagged once more and threw up in the ceramic bowl, mostly bile as she hadn't eaten anything since the morning. Chloe knew that was even more painful. She sat back and rubbed a hand over Beca's back soothingly, gathering the brunette's hair into her hand.

"Let it out, you'll feel better afterwards."

Beca rested her forehead against the ceramic bowl as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, breathing coming out in sharp tugs.

"Please go," Beca whimpered, body shaking with restrained sobs. "I don't want you to see me like this."

Chloe's eyes widened, taken aback by Beca's request. She was a _doctor_ , she had seen much worse things than somebody throwing up. "Beca…"

" _Please._ "

The sadness and desperation flickering in Beca's eyes when she turned her head to glance at her told Chloe she shouldn't argue. She bobbed her head up and down and leaned in to kiss Beca's temple, letting her lips linger there for a few seconds while closing her eyes briefly.

The sob that rang out when she clicked the door shut behind her had Chloe's heart drop to her stomach. She fought against her better judgement to respect Beca's wish and not go back inside that bathroom.

Stepping inside her bedroom, Chloe changed her shirt and collected the dirty one, along with Beca's clothes she had taken out from the bathroom. She threw all items in the washing machine and set it on, before going into the kitchen to set some water to boil for a herbal tea.

Fingers drumming over the surface of the counter top, Chloe fought with her legs to not let them carry her back to that bathroom. She decided she would wait until the water would stop boiling to make sure Beca was alright.

After the excruciating long two minutes, Chloe marched down the hallway and knocked on the bathroom door softly. No response was given, so she knocked harder, trying not to let panic take over the small rational part that was left in her brain.

Beca could have fallen asleep, or hit her head or-

Chloe eventually sighed and knocked a few more times on the door, harder. "Bec, are you okay?"

Pressing her ear to the wooden surface, Chloe waited with bathed breathing for a reply. When ten seconds went by without any, she wrapped her hand around the knob.

"I'm coming in."

She opened the door gently and saw Beca sat on the shower with her knees drawn to her chest as the water landed on her back. Her gaze was locked on the tile floor, and she was slightly shivering. Chloe furrowed her brow and moved quickly to grab the biggest towel she could find in the cupboard.

Shutting off the water, Chloe fluffed the towel out and wrapped it around Beca's rocking body. She then sat down on the wet tile floor and wrapped her arms around the shorter woman, rubbing her hands up and down Beca's arms and back to warm her up.

"Shh," Chloe murmured, pressing her lips to Beca's forehead. "Breathe through it."

"I want it to _stop_ ," Beca managed between sobs, hiding her face in her thighs. "This is too hard, the pain is too fucking much."

Chloe fought against her own tears and tightened her hold on Beca, at loss of what to say to make her feel better. She felt powerless against Beca's emotional pain, and that only made the one gripping her whole body unbearable.

" _I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose, fire away, fire away,"_

Chloe heard her own voice bouncing off the bathroom walls before she even realized she had started to sing. She felt Beca draw out a long breath as her body slumped against hers, releasing a bit of the tension it had bottled up in the last thirty-six hours.

" _Ricochet, you take your aim, fire away, fire away,"_

She stopped when Beca lifted her head from her bent legs, to stir her body towards Chloe's. She laid her head over Chloe's shoulder and bunched excess fabric of Chloe's top in her closed hand, gripping on it for dear life.

"Keep going, please," Beca's voice was so small that the older woman struggled to make out her request. "Keep singing."

So she sang. She sang until Beca was no longer shaking, until the exhaustion from the withdrawal had taken its toll on her weakened body.

Once Beca was able to stand on her feet, Chloe wrapped her in a robe and led her back to her bedroom.

"How about something for the nausea?" Chloe suggested as she crouched by Beca's head once she laid down. Seeing the flash of uncertainty in Beca's eye, she added, "It won't alter your healing process, I promise."

After a beat of hesitation, Beca nodded faintly and sat up when Chloe returned with a glass of water and pill. Sitting next to her, Chloe handed her the two items. Beca took them and laid back down on her back.

"Can you lie with me?"

"Sure," Chloe agreed, before glancing down at her soaked clothes. "Just let me change first, alright?"

When she returned, Beca's back was facing the door as she laid on her side. Chloe rounded her bed and climbed in beside her, settling on her side as well, a hand tucked between the pillow and her cheek.

"You're not going to throw up, are you?" she asked teasingly, narrowing her eyes. "I'm running out of fresh shirts."

Beca managed a weak smile and shake of the head. "I'm okay now."

Chloe was glad that, even if it was bound to be short, Beca was at least allowed a moment of reprieve.

"Can you tell me something about you?" she asked, eyes shily locking onto Chloe's.

Chloe hummed in the affirmative. "Like what?"

Beca shrugged, lids steadily dropping. "Anything. Happy stuff."

Chloe smiled and ran her fingers through Beca's hair as she thought about a happy memory that wouldn't trigger any of Beca's past demons. Music seemed like a fair bet.

"When I was four I told my parents I wanted to play an instrument, so they took me to the store and I got to try all the instruments I could set my hands on. To their horror, I chose the flute and I played badly for like, a few months," Chloe rolled her eyes at herself while Beca snickered. "I think they thought about soundproofing my room at some point, especially when I decided my next instrument would be the drums."

"Oh no," Beca winced playfully. "Did you actually play the drums?"

"Nah, I didn't follow through on that. I quickly gave up, I think I wasn't patient enough to learn how to play any instrument. I started ballet and that took most of my time."

Beca raised an eyebrow. "Ballet?"

"Yep. Among other things. I _love_ dancing. I wanted to make a career in exotic dancing at some point in college, but I chose medicine in the end."

Beca chuckled. "Wise choice."

Chloe paused, quirking an eyebrow, "You're saying I couldn't have made a good exotic dancer?"

"No, I meant about the career opportunities. I'd like to see you exotic dance, though," Beca's eyes widened at her own words. "Did I just say that out loud?"

"Yeah," Chloe confirmed, biting her tongue to keep from laughing. "I'm flattered, though."

Beca lifted a hand to rub at her eyes, the sleeve of the bathrobe she was wearing riding up in the process. Chloe's eyes set on the headphones tattoo on her wrist. She had caught a glimpse of it before, but never up-close. She reached out, tracing it over with a finger when Beca set her arm back across her stomach.

"I like this one," She whispered, dragging her eyes off it to look at Beca, who was focused on the motion of Chloe's finger over the ink. She knew Beca had other tattoos, given the fact that she had seen her without clothing twice already. She wanted to know the stories behind all of them, whenever Beca was ready to share it with her.

"I got it when I was in high school and started DJing. My mom was so pissed at me for getting it that she didn't talk me for a few days at that time."

Beca grew silent, fidgeting with the loose thread of her robe, as if replaying the memory in her mind.

"Where did you go?" Chloe asked softly. Upon getting Beca's blank look, she clarified. "You look like you were having deep thoughts."

"I…" Beca hesitated, grey eyes locking onto Chloe's with a wave of sadness flooding them. "I was just thinking about Benji. I can't believe he's _gone_."

Chloe reached out to grasp Beca's hand, lazily intertwining their fingers. "Do you know what happened? Do you want to talk about it?"

Beca blinked several times and cleared her throat. "He's always been very unstable. He-he nearly OD'd once before, a few years ago. His mom, she's… not a good person. She's an alcoholic and has - _had-_ this hate-love relationship with him. I think-I think they fought at Christmas and it was really bad. I wasn't there when he did it," Beca breathed in shakily, blinking several times to keep the tears away.

"I-I came back to the grounds in the early morning and I was told about what happened. I think I completely lost it. I don't remember much. I know I walked a lot. I went to the cemetery to visit my mom's grave. And I walked some more. And the rest is blurry." Beca shrugged. "I just remember pushing the needle in and everything started to swim, more quickly than usual. My heart was suddenly beating in very slow motion. When I realized how much I had actually taken, it was too late."

It was only when Beca stopped speaking that Chloe realized she was crying. She reached to wipe at her cheeks and did the same for Beca when a lone tear escaped her eye. She kept her hand there, loosely holding Beca's jaw, her thumb grazing her cheek as the brunette leaned into her touch.

"I'm going to miss him."

A sob escaped Beca's throat as soon as the words were out. Chloe clenched her jaw to keep her emotion in check and she shuffled closer to pull Beca into a tight embrace as the younger woman broke down.

"I know," she murmured into Beca's ear, letting her hand draw soothing circles over her back. She didn't know what else to say, or if there was even anything she could say to make Beca feel better.

She knew the lack of drugs was only heightening Beca's pain and thought Beca was doing an amazing job at hiding it. Chloe was convinced that Beca's emotional pain was borderline unbearable, but the brunette was powering through.

"I'm sorry," Beca mumbled as she backed away a couple of minutes later. She wiped her runny nose with the sleeve of the bathrobe and backed away.

"You don't have to apologize for anything," Chloe said softly as she reached out to tuck Beca's hair behind her ear. She then laid her hand on Beca's shoulder, thumb rubbing back and forth over the fabric of the robe. "I'm here to help and I'm not going anywhere."

"How do you do that?" Beca asked out of the blue. Chloe tilted her head to the side. "You… You make me want to be the best version of myself whenever you're around."

Chloe blinked twice as she allowed Beca's words to settle in. This was probably the most heartfelt compliment anyone had ever given her.

"You make me feel… I don't know, important."

Chloe smiled softly as another round of tears filled her eyes. "Well, you _are_ important. Please never believe otherwise."

Beca flushed, breaking eye contact to look at their joined hands. "It's been a while since I've heard that."

Squeezing Chloe's hand, she cleared her throat. "You are important to me, too. More than you know," A smile broke onto Beca's face as her eyes flickered back to Chloe's. "It's kind of crazy how you barged into my life and changed it for the better."

"Beca," Chloe murmured softly, her voice barely audible as it stuck to her throat. Her hand slowly edged to Beca's neck. She opened her mouth to say something, but words failed her.

"You are at the top of my list," Beca said then, quietly, but it still managed to make Chloe's heart skip a bit. "The list that I wrote all of the reasons why I should stop. You're at the top. However," Chloe frowned as her heartbeat slowed down a notch. "I need to see if I can get better, Chloe, before I give in to whatever this is," Beca resumed, leaving Chloe's eyes to glance down at their hands. "That thing that my heart wants to do. I can't give in until I'm certain I'm not going to hurt you. Until I find some sort of steadiness and peace with myself, first. If I don't, I know I'll bolt whenever things get hard and… you deserve better than that."

Chloe felt something strange settle in her stomach. Something unknown but welcome. It calmed her, somehow, brought her a sense of needed levity.

"I understand," she whispered, afraid her voice might fail her if she dared speak any louder. "I'll wait for you. I have no doubt you'll make it through this."

Beca nodded, a tear toppling over the rim of her eye to run down her cheek. Chloe caught it with her thumb and ran the pad over Beca's cheekbone soothingly. The brunette brought her hand up to circle Chloe's wrist, and tugged on it so she could press a kiss to Chloe's palm.

The intimate move didn't leave Chloe indifferent as she felt the tingles created by Beca's lips travel all the way to the tip of her toes.

"Thank you for having faith in me," Beca murmured. "You can't imagine how good it feels to have someone believing in me."

"Well, you better get used to it," Chloe replied as softly, thumb running over a spot on Beca's neck. "Because I'm not about to stop."

Beca fell asleep a little while after that, and once she was sure she had fallen in a deep-enough slumber, Chloe got out of the bed and pulled the covers around Beca's body. She took a moment to pet Jazz, who was curled on the floor, before leaving the room quietly.

Upon seeing light drifting down the hall from the living room area, Chloe padded towards it, to find Tom nursing a cup of coffee, still clad in his uniform.

"Hey," he called out softly from where he leaned against the counter, watching her with cautious eyes. "You okay?"

Chloe shrugged, burying her hands into the front pocket of her hoodie as she fought against a new round of tears.

Tom sighed and set his cup down before opening his arms, "C'mere."

Chloe made the short distance to her best friend and only then gave in to the meltdown that had been looming over her since finding Beca in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry," she croaked out when she regained a semblance of emotional strength, backing away a few minutes later to wipe her cheeks with the sleeves of her sweatshirt. "I just didn't think it would be this hard. She's in so much pain."

"Yeah," Tom said understandingly. "But it will only get better, right? This is the rough patch, isn't it?"

Chloe nodded, moving around the kitchen to get a cup and pour some coffee into it. "I hope so. She looks determined to get through with it."

"You're driving her to the rehab tomorrow night?"

Chloe hummed with a nod, leaning against the table as she cradled the cup of coffee in her hands.

"How long is she going to stay there?"

"The usual program lasts a month."

Tom pursed his lips, gaze focused on the floor as he thought. "And then? What's the plan?"

"I-I don't know. She can't go back to the streets, Tom."

Tom met her eyes with a soft expression. "No, I know. Of course not."

"And she got beaten up the last time she stayed in a shelter, so that's not an option, either."

"Well, then, I only see one option. She moves in with us. At least until she gets back on her feet."

Chloe opened her mouth only to close it a second later as she pondered on her thoughts some more.

"I don't want to impose that on you. You've done so much already, and we don't have a guest room. She can't live in the living-room, and I can't keep sleeping in your bed."

"We don't have a guest room, but we have the office. It's a bit cramped and not very well lit but we can buy a single bed to put in there and there's already a cupboard for her clothes."

Chloe sighed and agreed quietly. This seemed like the best idea. She set her cup down and stepped closer, wrapping her arms around her best friend in a tight hug.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

Tom shrugged and didn't say anything, settling on kissing her forehead as he returned her embrace.

The next day unraveled with the same pattern, though with a bit less intensity. Tom insisted that he could take care of Beca while Chloe slept for a few hours. Beca started eating again, mostly soup, and in very small portions.

Before they knew it, it was time to make the two-hour-drive upstate to the rehab center.

Chloe waited by the door as Beca went to her bedroom to take her stuff. The brunette appeared by the end of the hallway, backpack hanging from one shoulder and guitar case off the other. She was gripping Chloe's Harvard sweatshirt in one of her hands.

"Do you mind if I take this with me?"

Chloe smiled warmly, heart fluttering in her chest. "Not at all. Ready?"

Beca inhaled sharply, shoulders rising up as she held her breath in before letting it go. "As I'll ever be."

Most of the journey was spent in silence, Chloe dreading her time apart from Beca, and Beca probably dreading spending so much time in an unknown place. The only thing that made Chloe more comfortable was the fact that Aubrey would be there the whole time and wouldn't let anything happen to the woman that held her heart.

"Alright," Chloe announced as Aubrey finished giving Beca a tour and showing her to her bedroom. The three of them were standing in the main hall. "I should probably go."

Aubrey nodded and pulled her into a tight hug. "She's in good hands, I promise."

The blonde left shortly after to return to her office, granting the two women some privacy.

"Be good for Chloe, all right?" The redhead heard Beca tell her dog as she hugged him. Jazz whined when Beca pulled away and stood back up, eyes glinting. "Thank you for taking care of him."

"Not a problem, I'm sure he'll be a nice roommate. Tom is glad to have a new running buddy."

Beca laughed curtly, glancing back at her dog. Silence fell over them.

Chloe eventually cleared her throat.

"I'll see you in two weeks?"

Beca nodded faintly. She seemed so small, completely out of her comfort zone, at mercy of whatever this unknown place would throw at her in the next four weeks.

Chloe didn't want to leave. But she knew she had to, as hard as it was going to be.

Beca stepped closer, until the tip of her shoes touched Chloe's. Snaking her arms around Chloe's waist, the brunette pressed herself flush against Chloe's body, forehead resting against Chloe's sternum, as if seeking last-minute reassurance.

Chloe wrapped her own arms around Beca's shoulders to pull her closer, relishing their last moment together before two long weeks. Time seemed to slow down around them as they were steadily swept away in their own bubble, making the most of each other presence for as long as they could.

Chloe eventually pulled away, reluctantly, but she knew the longer she stayed, the harder it would be to leave.

"Thank you, for everything. I don't know how I can begin to repay you."

Chloe managed to smile, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Just get better, yeah? That will be more than enough."

Beca nodded, squeezing Chloe's hand as she let go of her waist.

"See you in two weeks, Chloe."


	15. Chapter 15

"Ready to see your mama, Jazz?"

The loud thump of the dog's tail against the car door as it wiggled made Chloe laugh. She parked the car in the parking lot of the rehab center and turned off the engine. Blowing out a breath, Chloe sat back into her seat as she took a moment to steady herself.

It had been two weeks since she had last seen Beca.

If two weeks wasn't usually deemed a long time, it was for Beca. She had spent the last fifteen days without consuming any heroin, the most time she had gone without it in the last eight years.

And Chloe, well, she was excited but also wary about seeing Beca again. Worried that the Beca she grew to know would be different from the Beca she would see now.

"Get it together, Beale," Chloe told herself before reaching for the door handle. She let Jazz get down and shut the door, adjusting her purse over her shoulder before taking shy steps to the building.

"Hi," Chloe called out once she had made it to the reception desk. A middle-aged man stared up at her. "My name's Chloe Beale, I'm here to visit Beca Mitchell."

The man nodded. "Ms. Mitchell should be waiting for you in the visitors' lounge."

Chloe thanked him and followed the signs that would lead her to Beca. With one last deep breath, she pushed the door open and let go of Jazz's leash when he leapt up at the sight of his owner.

Beca's musical laugh upon seeing her dog made Chloe's heart sing. The brunette being too enthralled about greeting Jazz gave Chloe the needed seconds to observe her.

Beca had definitely gained some weight and her complexion looked a bit healthier than before. She blinked when Beca straightened up and stared at her with a curious tilt of the head.

Taking a few steps closer, Chloe stopped at a considerable distance. "Hi,"

She allowed Beca to make the rest of the way to her, and tried to hide her surprise when the shorter woman didn't hesitate in pulling her into a hug, arms wrapping tightly around Chloe's waist. Chloe released a much-needed breath as her shoulders slumped in relief. She embraced Beca back, relishing the proximity and familiar scent that assaulted her nostrils.

Beca slowly backed away after a few seconds, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too." Chloe's hand drifted up to cup Beca's jaw gently, eyes taking in her fuller face. "Can we go sit outside? It's pretty warm out today."

Beca nodded and grabbed the end of Jazz's leash. Taking Chloe's hand with her free one, Beca led her towards the back of the building. They stepped outside and into the garden, settling on a bench off the side.

"I hope he hasn't been too much trouble," Beca said, looking at Jazz with a smile as he laid down next to her and set his nose on her thigh.

"Not at all, he's a sweetheart," Chloe replied instantly. Jazz had perfectly acclimated to his new life at Tom and Chloe's. "He goes for a walk with me in the morning and usually goes for a jog with Tom at some point during the day. He's a very laid-back roommate."

Beca giggled, threading her fingers through his fur.

"How are you?" Chloe asked. It was the question on the forefront of her mind and she could hardly wait any longer to voice it.

"I'm better," Beca told her after a beat of hesitation. "It was hard at first, being here on my own, surrounded by people I didn't know, but it gets a little bit easier every day."

Chloe exhaled slowly. It felt as if she had been holding that breath for the last two weeks.

"That's good," Chloe murmured, sliding her hand into Beca's. "I'm glad."

"Aubrey has been great. Tough at first, but I guess that's what I needed. Thank you for insisting I came here," she opened her mouth to say more, but the words seemed stuck in her throat. Chloe reached out and laid her gloved hand over Beca's in reassurance that whatever she wanted to tell Chloe, she could. Beca's eyes met hers, and Chloe realized they were getting misty. She turned her hand over and gently wrapped her fingers around Chloe's. "Thank you for everything. I'm… I'm so grateful to have you in my life, Chlo."

Thickness gathered at the base of Chloe's throat as she stared at Beca. She blinked back the tears that had pooled in her eyes and squeezed Beca's fingers.

"Right back at you."

Beca cleared her throat. "How have _you_ been? Any news from the hospital?"

"Yeah, the, um, the board meeting took place. Since I was able to prove that I didn't take these drugs for myself, I won't lose my medical license. However," Chloe winced and shut her eyes briefly. "I've been suspended for six months for breach of trust and will have to be supervised the following six."

"Chloe," Beca croaked out while shaking her head. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Chloe forced a smile, even though the bitterness of the situation was still very much present. "It's still hard to digest but then again, I've been working too much these past few years, so a little bit of off-time will do me good. It will give me the opportunity to actually do all the stuff I haven't taken the time to do because of work."

Beca eventually smiled. "Like what?"

Chloe sighed and leaned back. "Like… actually reading the books I've bought, cooking, spending more time back at my folks…" she trailed off and locked eyes with Beca. "And dating."

She studied Beca's reaction closely but couldn't really read it. There was something she could not define on Beca's face, it wasn't a guarded expression, but it wasn't a comfortable one either.

She knew she wanted to date Beca. And she knew Beca was attracted to her as well.

She just didn't know if Beca was ready to date, or if she was ready to start a relationship. She didn't know if Beca had found peace within herself, yet.

"When… when I'm done with this thing," Beca started, making Chloe's heart leap in a burst of anticipation and hope. "I would, I would really like to take you on a date. Or, or cook you dinner, since I probably won't be able to afford a restaurant."

Chloe welcomed a needed gush of air into her lungs. "You would?"

Beca nodded. "Of course."

"I'll hold you to that," Chloe drawled out playfully, adding a wink for good measure.

"Thank you for coming today." Beca said appreciatively a while later as they strolled back to the building. Beca had another two weeks before rehab was done, and they wouldn't see each other until then.

"Of course," Chloe hummed, squeezing Beca's hand. She stopped right before they stepped inside, and stirred Beca into facing her. "Listen, I had an idea regarding something but I don't want to do anything behind your back, I learned my lessons."

"Okay, what is it?" Beca asked with a soft expression.

"I listened to your mixes and… you're so talented Beca. No wonder CR said that the other night about you getting a Grammy someday. I was wondering if… I could have her listen to it, too, and see if she can put you back in the saddle. If you want to go back to music, that is."

"I," Beca swallowed thickly, eyes flickering back and forth between Chloe's and the ground. "I never thought I would ever get the opportunity to play professionally again so I didn't really dwell on that but… I guess you can give them to her."

"Okay," Chloe said with a smile, slightly bouncing on her feet. "I'm glad you agreed. I trust CR will help you."

"Chloe?" Beca called as they stepped back into the building. Chloe spun around and was met with a soft smile.

"Thank you for asking me, first."

* * *

It took a week for Beca to get her bearings in her new home. By the second week, she had a pretty good routine: she would play guitar in the subway each morning, and come back with groceries around noon in time to eat lunch with Chloe.

Her afternoons were filled with either reading, going on walks with Jazz or writing songs. She would to her AA meetings every two days at five. Chloe quickly figured that she was trying to keep her mind occupied to prevent it from drifting to the cravings her body was still probably experiencing from time to time.

Chloe smiled to herself when she heard the front door open and close. She looked up from her computer screen in time to see Beca and Jazz stride in, the brunette holding several grocery bags.

"You don't have to do that, y'know," Chloe told her softly as Beca began to put the things she bought away. "Buying groceries every day."

"I know," Beca said, shrugging off her jacket when she was done. She laid it on top of a chair and turned to face Chloe. "I just… I'm afraid I might spend my money on something else."

"Oh," Chloe let out, not needgin Beca to elaborate. So she was right into thinking that heroin was still on the forefront of Beca's mind. "I understand. But maybe you can buy stuff for yourself instead; clothes, music equipment…"

"Yeah, I guess so," Beca agreed with a shrug, slipping her hands into Chloe's hoodie. She rarely took it off, except to wash it. Chloe loved how good it looked on her. "I guess I'm just trying to repay you for what you did for me in whatever way I can."

Chloe's insides warmed over Beca's words. "That's sweet," she eyed the bowl of fruits on the middle of the table and chuckled. "I think we have enough apples, though, honey."

Beca followed her line of gaze and let out a nervous laugh at the sight of the overflowing bowl. "Right, sorry. What do you like?"

Chloe shut her computer and leaned forward, nestling her chin into her propped-up hand. "Ice-cream, chips, oranges, avocados… Maybe we should actually go grocery shopping together tomorrow, actually. So I can learn about what you like, too."

Beca smiled. "Yeah, that sounds like a good plan."

* * *

Chloe laughed as she watched Jazz scamper off after the tennis ball Beca just threw at him. Beca was grinning, too, and the sight of it made Chloe giddy.

"Good job, boy," Beca congratulated him as he brought it back a minute later. She threw it again and wiped her muddy hand on her jeans, so she could grab Chloe's and tug her along.

Their relationship was not clearly defined. Beca had been through a lot of life-changing events in the last few months and Chloe wanted her to define the pace.

They often shared little touches; forehead kisses, cuddles, and hand holding. Chloe was happy with the pace they were going.

"Beca?" A male voice reached Chloe's ears. Both women turned around and Chloe felt Beca tense.

"Oh, hey Sean," the brunette waved before tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Where have you been?" the man asked as he stepped closer, his main focus on Beca. "You disappeared after Benji's death."

"Yeah, I went through some shit. I'm better now."

Sean nodded. "I was hoping you could hook me up with that friend of yours for something."

Chloe shivered as she observed him. The vibe given off by Sean was unsettling. He was clearly desperate, the way Beca had been when they first met.

It hit Chloe right then how far Beca had come in the last six weeks.

"I, uh, I can't help you with that. I'm off the streets, Sean." Beca cleared her throat with a shrug and shuffled awkwardly. "New start."

"Really?" His hopeful gaze turned bitter as he eyed Chloe up and down with an eyebrow no doubt raised in judgement. "Found yourself a sugar mommy, did you?"

Chloe tried not to feel hurt when Beca immediately dropped her hand. "It's not like that."

"Whatever," The man shrugged, burrowing his hands in the pockets of his coat. "So you don't have anything? I'm kinda desperate here. I'll even take pills."

"No. I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Sean mumbled, already turning his back to them. He threw a "Have a nice life." Over his shoulder as he walked away.

Beca remained silent for a while, and Chloe had no idea what was going through her head. Eventually, the brunette lifted her eyes.

"Can we go home?"

Chloe's fingers flexed by her side to refrain from reaching for Beca's hand. "Sure."

The walk home was spent in awkward silence as Beca's head remained low, gaze fastened on the sidewalk. Her fingers were gripping Jazz's leash, her knuckles nearly turning white. When they got back to the apartment, Beca retreated to her room without saying anything, Jazz following his owner down the hallway.

Chloe pondered going after her but refrained. She situated herself on the couch with a cup of coffee and picked up the book she was currently reading from where she had last laid it down on the table. Mid-way through the last chapter, Chloe felt the couch dip and glanced sideways to find Beca sitting next to her.

Her hair was loose, still wet from her shower, Chloe presumed. She looked as though she wanted to say something but couldn't put it into words. Chloe slid her bookmark inside the page and set the book down between them, turning to face Beca.

"I'm sorry," the brunette eventually said, quietly, timidly. Chloe tilted her head to the side.

"For what?"

"For the whole ordeal with Sean, I…" Beca inhaled sharply, raking her teeth over her bottom lip. "You're not what he said you were. I-I don't want you to believe that."

"I don't," Chloe countered firmly, reaching across the surface to squeeze Beca's wrist. She withdrew her hand after a few seconds. "Are you okay?"

She wanted to ask if _they_ were okay.

"I'm sorry, I, um… getting out of rehab and settling back into real life is harder than I thought. I keep having these thoughts and my brain is on a loop… I guess I thought the battle would be over when I got out but that's not the case, I…"

Beca paused, teeth grinding.

"Living in the streets is the only thing I've known how to do for the last six years and… while I know I should be grateful for having a roof over my head," she shrugged, heaving out a sigh. "It's still unsettling. I feel like I don't belong."

"I get that," Chloe stated softly, arm extending over the back of her couch. "I think it's perfectly normal. Your life changed, and you need to give your mind and body some time to adapt. Even through changes for the better."

Beca nodded, finally releasing a breath, her shoulders slumping in the process.

"Can I help you in any way?" Chloe pressed cautiously. "Do you need some time on your own, or less? Am I too present, maybe? I won't get offended if that's the case, I promise."

"No, you're-" Beca paused to smile, mirroring Chloe's posture, her fingers brushing lightly across the back of Chloe's hand. "I like having you around. I like to hear you sing when you cook or your laugh when you watch your favorite sitcom. I like taking walks with you and going grocery shopping, because you enjoy the little things life gives you and it's refreshing and gives me hope that one day I'll enjoy life the way you do," She shrugged. "I hope that someday, I'll find my own happiness."

Chloe felt her chest constrict over the weight laced with Beca's words. "So do I. You deserve to be happy, Beca."

Giving Chloe a half smile, Beca wrapped her fingers around hers. "Thank you."

* * *

"When was the last time you talked to her?"

Chloe slowed her pacing to glance at Tom.

"This morning. She usually comes back by noon. It's already seven, I don't know what to do."

Tom sighed and strode over to her, grasping her upper arms gently.

"First, I need you to take a deep breath, and realease it slowly."

Chloe did as she was told but it did little in easing her worry. The front door opening and shutting, added to the sound of approaching footsteps, however, did the trick. She whipped her head over her shoulder to see Beca round the corner and her shoulders slumped in relief.

However, she didn't want to make it sound as if Beca had to come home by a specific time. She wasn't her mom.

"Hey," she called cautiously as Beca lingered in the doorway, hands buried in her pockets. Jazz had made a beeline for his water bowl and was lapping away. "You okay?"

Beca shrugged, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip as she shuffled awkwardly on her feet. Chloe frowned and stepped closer. She had this crippling feeling that Beca was high, and it made her heart plummet to the ground.

"Bec?"

Beca shook herself out of her daze and took out something from her pocket, placing it on the table before purposefully taking several steps away.

"Can you get rid of this, please?" She was looking at Chloe, who had yet to tear his eyes away from the small zip-bag filled with white powder. Tom grasped it and was out of the room in a beat, presumably to flush it down the toilet.

Chloe snapped out of it and turned her gaze to Beca, who had started pacing up and down the kitchen entrance, much like Chloe was doing before she got back. She had her head held in her hands and was talking to herself under her breath, but Chloe couldn't exactly make out what she was saying.

"Beca," Chloe attempted from where she stood. Eventually, she walked right into Beca's path to stop her. Beca flinched away sharply, almost slapping Chloe in the process. The redhead staggered back with a shocked look, and that alone seemed to launch Beca back in the real world.

"I'm, I'm sorry," Beca croaked out, taking a few steps towards Chloe and cupping her face with both hands. "Are you okay?"

Chloe nodded, grasping one of Beca's wrist gently. "Are _you_?"

"I don't know," Beca let go and broke eye-contact. "I don't know what went through my mind. I'm so fucking mad at myself," She dropped her face into her hands. "Fuck!"

"Beca," Chloe said firmly, grasping Beca's wrists once more, pulling lightly. "Beca, look at me. Did you take anything?"

It took a while before Beca's posture softened, and she allowed Chloe to tug her hands away from her face.

"No."

Chloe released a much-needed breath. "Okay. You may have bought something, but you didn't take it. And that's what you need to focus on. You came back here, and asked for our help. That's exactly what you should be doing when you feel like you're about to relapse."

Beca nodded. "I know. I just feel weak."

"You're not. You're so strong, you don't even realize it. And I'm so proud of you for not giving in," Chloe murmured, slipping her hands into Beca's. "Is there a reason you wanted to use today?"

"My mom..." Beca supplied after a beat of silence. "She-she died nine years ago, today. No matter how long it's been, it still hurts, every year."

Chloe's eyes softened. She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Beca, keeping a loose hold on her until Beca returned the embrace, after which she allowed herself to tighten her hold.

"Come on, go get something comfy on, I'm taking you somewhere," Chloe announced as she pulled away.

"Where?" Beca asked curiously.

Chloe tutted, already taking out the needed items to start a coffee pot. "That's for me to know and for you to find out! Just dress warmly."

A few minutes later, Beca came out of her room clad in sweatpants and Chloe's Harvard sweater, a beanie screwed on her head. They talked about Chloe's day as they waited for the coffee to be done brewing, Chloe pouring it into a thermos while Beca grabbed two mugs. Blankets tucked under their arms, Chloe led Beca up the three flights of stairs leading to the rooftops.

It was a particularly cold night, barely hovering past thirty degrees, but the beauty of the sky made up for the biting temperatures.

"It's a beautiful night, and it's been a while since I've last stargazed."

Once they were laid down, Chloe pulled the extra blanket over them both, propping her head by tucking both hands underneath it.

"I don't think I have ever properly stargazed before," Beca voiced after a while. Chloe twisted her head to look at her, Beca mimicking her a second later.

"No?" Upon Beca's confirmation, Chloe smiled. "Well, there's always a first to everything," she extended an arm and pointed at a specifid spot. "You see those three stars that make a line connected to those four that make a square?"

Beca hummed after a few seconds of squinting.

"That's Ursa Minor. Or Little Bear," she explained, briefly glacing back at Beca, as if to make sure she was following. "And the five dots that make a sort of zig-zag right there, is Cassiopeia."

Beca had turned on her side and was staring at her. Chloe momentarily found it hard to look at the stars.

"You're not even looking!" she said, feigning offence, but her voice died in her throat when she locked eyes with Beca's. The stars swimming in the brunette's eyes were much prettier than the ones twinkling in the sky. Like a magnet, her own body stirred towards Beca's, and there was nothing Chloe could do about it.

Nothing Chloe _wanted_ to do about it.

Time seemed to slow down around them, Beca's movements unfolding in slow motion. Her hand setting on Chloe's hip, tugging her lightly to her until mere inches seperated their bodies.

"Bec," Chloe whispered, watching as Beca's eyes dropped to her lips. Chloe rubbed them together absent-mindedly, heart picking up in anticipation. Smiling shyly, Beca closed the gap between them and placed a short, soft kiss to Chloe's mouth, pulling away a second later to dip back in and kiss her more boldly this time.

A moan got stuck to the back of Chloe's throat as her hand hiked up to hold Beca's jaw and pull her closer as their lips moved swiftly against one another's.

It wasn't fireworks. It was mending. Patient and better, safer than their first kiss simply because Beca was the one to initiate it.

Chloe didn't know how long they ended up kissing, on a rooftop in the middle of freezing February. Her lungs were burning and her toes had gone numb, but her heart felt full and warm.

Happy.

"Just so you know," Beca said breathlessly when they parted. "I'm cooking for you tomorrow. It's a date."

Chloe leaned in for another chaste kiss.

"Deal."


	16. Chapter 16

"Chlo! We're going to be late!"

Chloe rolled her eyes as she finished slipping her socks on, springing off the bed and grabbing her jacket off the chair of her desk. "I'm coming!"

Rounding the corner, she smiled as she spotted Beca by the door, arms crossed over her chest and foot almost tapping on the floor. She had a child-like excited expression on her face that made Chloe's heart flutter.

She laughed, shaking her head slightly as she shrugged on her jacket. March had come around along with its more bearable temperatures,, so she decided to go for her leather jacket.

"You know we're well ahead of time, right?"

Beca shrugged, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "I do, but we need to do something first."

Chloe tilted her head to the side. "Do we?"

"Yep, you need a Yankees hat."

Chloe's eyes lit up as she grabbed her keys. "Oh, right! Let's go, then."

"Hold on," Beca's hand caught hers before she could reach for the door knob. Tugging Chloe back to her, Beca planted a quick kiss on her lips. "You look pretty."

Chloe's insides swooned as she dipped in for another kiss, because kissing Beca had become one of her favorite things to do in the week they had been dating. "Thanks, babe."

Beca's excitement steadily grew the nearer they got to the stadium. When they stood in front of it however, Chloe felt her demeanor shift. She stopped walking once she realized Beca wasn't following anymore, and turned to find Beca staring at the arena.

"Bec?" she asked softly, making the small distance back to her. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Beca nodded, shaking her head lightly. "Just... memories."

She allowed Beca a moment to herself, until she felt her hand slip into her own. Beca smiled up at her and laced their fingers, nodding her head.

"Let's go see if you remember the stuff I taught you."

"What do I win if I get everything right?" Chloe teased, falling into step with her girlfriend as they followed the crowd steadily walking to the gates. Beca rolled her eyes and handed the tickets to the appropriate person, leaning in to kiss Chloe's cheek quickly before they resumed walking.

"That's a good form of reward." Chloe mused, as Beca pulled the door of the shop open for her. She smiled in thanks and walked to the hat section.

"Let me," Beca said as she scanned the area, grabbing one of the caps and placing it onto Chloe's head. She hummed and smoothed Chloe's hair down, leaning in for a brief kiss. "Looks good on you."

Chloe could certainly get used to the amount of PDA Beca was giving her.

Both women took their seats a couple minutes later, Beca taking a few seconds to gush at how good they were and Chloe managing to coax her into taking a selfie before the game started.

Just as she pocketed her phone, Chloe felt it buzz and pulled it back out.

**From: CR**

_Girl, just got around to listening to Beca's mixes. Sorry it took so long. Can she come by sometime next week? Anytime is good, I'm down to clear my whole schedule just to talk with her._

Chloe bit on her bottom lip to keep the massive grin on her face from splitting it into two. She handed the device to Beca, whose eyes gradually widened as she read the text.

Chloe leaned over, nuzzling the dimple in Beca's cheek before brushing her lips there. Beca was still staring at the screen, as if to make sure it was all real.

"Told you."

"Does um-" Beca looked down to her lap and only then did Chloe realize she had been fiddling with her fingers. "Does she know about my past?"

"No. Should she?"

Beca grimaced. "I, uh, I figured maybe you had told her."

"I wouldn't do that," Chloe said softly, turning her hand over so she could wrap her fingers around Beca's to still her movements. She gave them a reassuring squeeze. "That's not my story to tell. And you don't have to tell anyone about your past if you don't want to. It's _in_ the past."

"Yeah, I," Beca closed her eyes briefly, her throat bobbing up and down. "Sometimes I have trouble believing that. That all of this is behind me. I'm scared to relapse, Chloe. I still have those cravings and-"

"It's okay to be scared. It's okay to feel the way you feel, and it's okay to talk about it. You've used for the last eight years, Bec. That's a _long_ time. And you've been completely clean for just a little over a month. That's already a great achievement."

Beca released a shaky breath. "Yeah."

Chloe leaned in and kissed the apple of her cheek, letting her lips linger longer than necessary.

"Let's focus on enjoying the little things, shall we? You are at a Yankees game, Bec! What else could top that?"

A welcomed smile graced Beca's lips and she closed the gap between she and Chloe to kiss her softly, which turned out to be difficult with the bump of their respective caps. "Being at a Yankees game with you."

Chloe smirked, fighting against the blush already heating up her cheeks.

"Smart ass."

* * *

"Chlo?" Chloe stopped in her tracks as she got out of the elevator. She turned around to see that Beca was still inside, hands gripping the railing and looking incredibly pale. The brunette swallowed. "I need a minute."

"Okay," Chloe agreed with a nod, stepping back in. "Let's just get out of the elevator, alright?"

Beca followed her into the hall and leaned against the wall, bending at the knees and resting both hands on top of them as she breathed in deeply.

"Bec," Chloe murmured, tilting her head to the side and laying a hand on Beca's back. Beca straightened, fists clenching and unclenching by her side.

"Sorry."

"It's okay to be a little nervous."

Beca scoffed, eyes flying to the ceiling. "This is basically my chance to get back into the music making world. I'm _terrified_."

Chloe cupped her face gently, coaxing her into looking at her. "You're so talented, Beca. I don't see how this could possibly go wrong. This is _music_ we're talking about. It basically flows through your veins, it's what you're made of. There's no way you can mess this up," she leaned in and kissed Beca lightly. "The only other person I know that gets music the way you do, is CR. She has a way of picking up talents like no one else. She's not doing this out of pity, or out of favor towards you or I. She's doing it because she believes there's something there. Something that could take you to the top. You just need to believe in yourself."

Beca puffed out a breath as her head bobbed up and down, taking a moment to let the words sink in. Chloe's hands drifted down her arms until her hands were grasping Beca's.

"Okay?"

"Okay." Beca's nod was much more determined this time. "Thank you. You always seem to know the right things to say."

"Easy to do when it's the truth." Chloe told her with a wink. Blush took over Beca's cheeks. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

Chloe was transfixed. She couldn't tell when she last blinked. Her fingers grasped the mug of coffee in her hands tighter in case it slipped from their grip given her state of awe.

"Well," Cynthia-Rose drawled out, spinning around in her chair after telling Beca to take a breath before her next song. She had a shit-eating grin on her face, and Chloe was glad she wasn't imagining things.

Beca was incredible. Like, out of this world incredible.

The studio high quality microphone heightened her voice a thousand times and it did things to Chloe's mind and body.

"I'm betting ya she's platinum in a week's time after the album release."

Chloe felt her eyes widen. "Album release?"

"If she wants to," CR turned back and asked if Beca could come out for a bit. The brunette set her guitar down and stepped into the room. "Girl, are you even real?"

Beca blushed furiously and tucked her hair behind her ears, dipping her head down. She sat next to Chloe, who kissed her cheek before excusing herself to let them discuss business. When things dragged on for longer than planned, Chloe shot a text to Beca saying she would run a few errands, and to let her know when she was ready to leave.

Beca was already in the lobby of the building when Chloe came back, hands busy with holding grocery bags. Those were quickly dropped to the floor in shock as Beca met her in the middle of the entrance to kiss her like she had never done before.

Chloe kissed her back once she had regained her senses and cupped her cheek to pull her even closer.

"Talk to me," she said breathlessly, smiling at the silent excitement thrumming from Beca.

"I, uh, I may have signed a label contract?" Beca replied, face scrunching up as if the news didn't feel that real, yet.

"Beca!" Chloe wasted no time in gathering the shorter woman in her arms. She pulled back a few seconds in, keeping Beca at arm's length. "That's amazing! Gosh, I'm so proud of you!"

Beca squeezed Chloe's waist lightly, eyes sparkling. "Thanks, Red."

Beca's touch, along with the nickname Chloe had grown fond of over the last few months strung a chord deep inside Chloe.

"We should go have a celebratory drink. Is Cynthia still up there?"

Beca placed her pointer finger over Chloe's bottom lip, making her fall silent. She reached up and captured Chloe's mouth in yet another kiss that left the redhead dizzy.

"Right now, I would love nothing more than to celebrate with you. Just _you_."

Chloe blinked, the sudden darkness in Beca's eyes making her toes curl in anticipation. "Oh."

"Can I take you home?" Beca asked, her hand slowly running up Chloe's side, down her arm and linking their fingers together. Having seemingly lost her voice, Chloe simply nodded, finding it hard to tear herself away from Beca's compelling blues.

* * *

The pitter-patter of the rain against the window was what dragged Chloe from her slumber. She blinked a few times for her eyes to adjust to the red numbers glaring back at her when she looked at the clock.

_11:53 PM_

She glanced to her left to find Beca asleep, turned on her opposite side.

Throat dry, Chloe stretched and laid a kiss upon Beca's bare shoulder before sliding out of bed. She slipped on the button-down she was wearing earlier and a pair of short cotton shorts.

Padding down the hallway towards the kitchen, she was surprised to find Tom eating leftovers at the island.

Looking down to her attire, she wished she had at least buttoned her shirt a little bit more. Tom was already smirking.

"Nice evening?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows playfully. Chloe rolled her eyes, hating the fact that his comment made her blush. She quickly grabbed a bottle of water and jogged back down the hallway, blindly flipping him off when he added, "You're right, it's important to stay hydrated!"

Slipping back into the room, Chloe lingered in the doorway when she realized Beca had just woken up.

"Hi," she murmured, stepping closer. She set the bottle on Beca's side of the bed and climbed back onto it, wiggling underneath the covers. Beca hummed in response, stirring onto her side and pulling Chloe into a lingering kiss. Renewed desire cursed through Chloe's veins as they broke apart with respective sighs. "God, you're really good at that."

"Kissing?" Beca asked with a smirk.

Chloe shook her head at the brunette's smugness. "That, and other stuff."

Beca's tongue darted out to wet her lips, and Chloe felt transfixed by the whole ordeal as she flashed back to what that tongue did to her mere hours ago. "Feeling is mutual."

"Phew, I'm glad I delivered," Chloe makes a show of wiping her forehead with the back of her hand, which Beca snatches to kiss her palm.

"You're such a dork."

"Oh, totes. But a dork you like."

Beca hummed, capturing Chloe's lips into another kiss, this time more chaste. "I think 'like' might be an understatement, here."

Chloe tried to to control her face-eating grin. "Is that so?"

"Well, yeah," Beca stated matter-of-factly with a shrug. She blinked up at Chloe and took a deep breath. "You know I love you, right? Like, I'm crazy in love with you."

Chloe knew she loved Beca for quite some time now. Ever since the night it all went down and she was afraid she would lose Beca forever. Her proclamation of love in that moment had been a desperate one, something she wanted Beca to know while her heart was still beating.

Tonight was different. Chloe was at peace with her feelings, and she knew Beca was here to stay. Here to love her, to hold her and, hopefully, down the road, build a life with her.

Chloe's hand drifted up to cup Beca's cheek tenderly. She tugged lightly, pulling Beca into a bruising kiss. "God, I'm so in love with you."

Beca closed her eyes for a long moment as she rested her forehead against Chloe's.

"I can't quite believe we're here right now."

Chloe chuckled, running her fingers up and down Beca's arm. Goosebumps rippled along Beca's skin in their wake.

"We've certainly come a long way."

* * *

Chloe woke up the next morning to the smell of eggs and bacon drifting through the apartment. Tom never cooked, and the empty space beside her told her that Beca was probably the culprit.

She took a moment to herself to replay last night's events in her mind. It was everything she had imagined about her first night with Beca, if not even more amazing.

Sighing, Chloe eventually got up and went in search of her girlfriend.

"Morning," she greeted, stopping in the doorway to take in the scene before her. Tom and Beca were having breakfast together, Tom buried in Sports Illustrated while Beca read a book she had taken from Chloe's library.

Both brunettes looked up simultaneously, along with Jazz who was curled up by Beca's feet. Chloe had to stifle a laugh as she moved to the coffee maker to pour herself a cup.

She walked to the table once she had helped herself to scrambled eggs and bacon, dropping a quick kiss in Beca's hair before she sat down.

"So," Tom started a few seconds later, folding his newspaper and crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back, eyes trained on Beca with a somewhat intimidating expression. "Should I give you the best friend talk now or later?"

Beca chewed and dropped the rest of her toast into the plate. "Uh oh."

Chloe laughed, reaching out to squeeze Beca's wrist as she twisted her head to look at Tom. "I'm pretty sure you're supposed to have that talk when, y'know, I'm _not_ in the room? Besides, I really doubt this is necessary."

"It's fine, Chlo," Beca said with a surprising, somewhat confident smile. "It'll be good practice for when I get the 'don't hurt my daughter speech' from your dad."

Chloe felt her own eyes widen. She knew Beca was pretty serious about their relationship since they had exchanged their love for each other the night before, but she didn't expect her to want to meet her _parents_.

"You want to meet my parents?"

Beca shrugged, as if the answer to that question was obvious. "Well, yeah. Maybe not _tomorrow_ , but eventually, down the road."

Chloe's hand left Beca's wrist to cup her jaw gently, pulling her into a slow kiss. She heard Beca inhale sharply at the sudden move before her lips moved swiftly against Chloe's to deepen the kiss.

"I don't know if I should feel awkward to be witnessing this or turned on right now."

The sly comment made them break apart, Chloe reaching for the nearest unharmful object to chug it at Tom's head. The man laughed, holding his hands up as a form of surrender as he stood up, leaving the room a few seconds later.

"What do you have planned for today?" Chloe asked, laying a hand atop Beca's thigh. She couldn't keep herself from little touches here and there, it had become nearly as necessary as breathing.

"I'm going back to the studio. CR wants to go over which songs should be in the album."

"So I won't see you all day, then?" Chloe frowned, popping her bottom lip out into a pout. She added a bit of batting eyelashes and gave Beca the best puppy-dog eye she could muster; enough dramatics to have Beca roll her eyes.

"Is that how it's gonna be then?" she started in a teasing tone, leaning a bit more towards Chloe, setting her chin on her propped-up hand. "You harassing me and asking me when I'll get home."

"Yep," Chloe confirmed, leaning just a bit further to brush her lips against Beca's, pulling away before she could close the gap. Beca groaned, but the smirk on her lips told Chloe she was enjoying the teasing. "I'll just stay here and hang out with Jazz then, my favorite lad around."

The dog's tail wagged against the floor at the mention of his name, making both women laugh.

"He loves you. Probably more than me by now." Beca observed with a frown.

Chloe shook her head. "Not possible, babe." Beca tilted her head, a curious expression on her face that made Chloe self-conscious. "What?"

"Nothing, I... I like it when you call me that."

Chloe smiled, reaching out to tuck Beca's hair behind her ear. "Really? I wouldn't have pegged you as someone who liked pet names."

Beca chuckled. "As long as you don't make a habit of calling me 'sugar pie', we're good."

Chloe's eyes lit up. "So that means I can call you that once in a while?"

Beca growled under her breath. "Chlo."

"I'm kidding, Sugar Pie." She raised her hands before Beca could reprimand her. "Only time, I swear. I just wanted to see if it suited you."

Beca's nose scrunched up. Chloe resisted the urge to learn forward and kiss the tip. "And?"

"No, I think I like Babe, better. Fair warning, I use 'baby', and 'sweetie' on a daily basis, though."

Beca kissed her for not particular reason, smirking when she pulled away. "I think I can work with that, Red."

The whimper was out of Chloe's mouth before she could catch it. Beca rose a questioning eyebrow.

"You calling me Red... does things to me."

Chloe felt the atmosphere shift dangerously. It only got thicker when Beca slid a hand up her thigh.

"Really?" Beca husked out, her thumb running over Chloe's skin in a repeated mantra.

"Yes," Chloe licked her lips, watching as Beca's eyes swiftly dropped to her mouth. "What time do you have to be in the studio?"

"Not for another hour."

"Do you think-"

But Beca didn't let her finish her sentence. She was already up and moving, tugging on Chloe's hand to move things along. Squealing, Chloe followed her down the hall, her bedroom door barely shut as Beca's lips claimed hers.

* * *

Chloe smiled as she felt Jazz's tail waggle against her leg. She had spent most afternoon lounging on the couch reading a book and Jazz had eventually sneaked his way next to her, setting his nose over her stomach and looking at her with those eyes that made it impossible for Chloe to tell him to come down.

She blamed Tom and his softness for allowing him on the couch the first time, months ago.

"Who's that, Jazz?" she asked, gasping when keys could be heard in the lock. Jazz lifted his head and tilted it. "Is that mama?"

As soon as the front door opened down the hall, the dog leapt off the couch and Chloe heard his paws skidding across the hardwood floors as he rounded the corner.

She listened in as Beca greeted Jazz happily, before a set of footsteps and paws approached.

"Hey you," Beca greeted, running her hand over Chloe's shoulders as she rounded the couch. She sat down next to Chloe and gave her a quick kiss before snuggling into her side. Chloe set her book down and began threading her fingers through Beca's longer locks.

"That's a good book," she said while tapping the now closed novel on Chloe's lap.

"Have you managed to read every single one of them?" Chloe asked, referring to the library tucked in the corner of the room.

"Almost. I would have by now if I wasn't busy releasing the album."

Chloe chuckled as she squeezed Beca's shoulder. "Bragging much?"

Beca pinched her side playfully. "No." She shrugged. "I still have a hard time believing this is happening."

"The album?"

Beca straightened so she could look at her better. She grabbed Chloe's hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. She did that often; the palm kisses, but Chloe's stomach still fluttered through each of them.

It had become their thing over the last few weeks of dating.

"Everything. The album, the faith people put in me," locking eyes with Chloe, she smiled. "You."

Chloe raised an eyebrow. "Me?"

Beca nodded, "Never in my life had I imagined I would end up with someone like you." Chloe opened her mouth to speak, but Beca continued. "I can't really fathom what you saw in me the day we met, because I was a real bitch, but I'm glad you insisted on seeing through my shield. I had never let it down for anybody else than Benji and... I'm happy I did. I'm happy I chose to trust you, even if that took a while. Thank you for being patient with me."

"God, Bec... you have no idea how you've changed my life for the better."

Beca closed her eyes, releasing a deep breath. "Nobody has ever said that to me since my mom died."

"Well." Chloe drawled out, biting on her bottom lip. "Prepare yourself to hear it a lot."

Beca kissed her gently, resting her forehead against Chloe's when they parted. "How are you even real?"

"Well, my mom and dad once decided they wanted to have another kid because, y'know, my brother was kind of a nutcase and-"

"Chlo," Beca interrupted with a laugh, drumming her fingers over Chloe's sensitive ribs. Chloe laughed along with her as she tried to bat her hand away. She ended up hovering above Beca as the brunette laid back on the couch. The shorter woman reached up, brushing Chloe's hair away from her face. "I love you."

Chloe grinned and dipped down for a kiss. "I love you, too."

Chloe settled on her side against Beca, the brunette's arm coming up around her to hold her loosely as she fought with a yawn.

"Long day?"

"Little bit," Beca answered, tone laced with sleepiness as she rested chin atop Chloe's head. "We finished canning the vocals."

Chloe pulled away and looked up. "Good. I was starting to wonder if I'd ever see my girlfriend more than two hours each day again."

Beca chuckled. "Sorry."

Chloe dropped a kiss to Beca's neck, the only bit of skin exposed that was reachable from her position. "It's okay. I'm thrilled that you get to do what you love. I'm just growing a little restless."

"I understand." Beca's finger racking up and down her spine were making her drowsy. "Got any plans tomorrow night?" Chloe shook her head. "Good. There's this up and coming DJ that I wanted to see. CR got us invites for the venue."

"Sounds awes."

Chloe set her head back down, using Beca's chest as a pillow.

"Hey Chlo?" Beca asked after a while, during which Chloe thought she had fallen asleep. She hummed in response. "Tomorrow I plan on visiting my mom's grave and... I wanted to know if you'd agree to come with me."

The older woman lifted her head again to meet Beca's eyes. "Are you sure?" Beca didn't waste any time to confirm that, which she did through a determined nod. "I'd love to."

Beca fought back another yawn, making Chloe giggle. "You need to sleep before all that, though, baby."

"Sleep sounds amazing," Beca said with a sigh, letting her lids slide shut. "Let's just stay here, yeah?"

Taking a glimpse out the window, she realised it was snowing again. The redhead let out a content sigh as she lowered her head, resting it just over Beca's beating heart.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

* * *

The following day was beautiful. The snow hadn't fallen too much and had mostly melted by midday, but the temperatures were still frosty.

Chloe shivered as they got out of her car, tightening her coat around her body. She felt Beca's gloved hand slip into hers and tug gently towards the entrance of the cemetery. Beca's other hand was holding onto the flowers they had picked up on the way.

They walked to the back of the cemetery and Chloe squeezed Beca's hand when they reached her mom's headstone.

_Catherine Mary Mitchell_

_1964 – 2012_

_Beloved daughter and mother_

Beca let go of Chloe's hand to crouch down and set the flowers on top of the stone. She took a moment to herself, before standing back up and burying her hands into her pockets.

"Hey mom," she greeted with a particular heaviness to her voice that made Chloe's heart ache. "I'm sorry I haven't been here in a while. A lot of things have happened over the last few months and I couldn't come here. I'm better. Much better actually. The light at the end of the tunnel is reachable for the first time in eight years, and it feels so good, mom."

"There's someone I'd like you to meet. Her name's Chloe Beale and she's the most amazing human being I know. She's the reason I'm still here today, and the reason I have enough strength to battle against the ache of losing you, grandpa and Benji."

Not really knowing what the protocol was when being introduced to someone that had passed away, Chloe went with her instinct and stepped forward, laying a hand over the top of the headstone.

"Hi, Mrs. Mitchell."

She let her hand linger before dropping it to her side and stepping back to stand next to her girlfriend, who smiled at her tearily before focusing back on the grave.

"I still miss you, though, mom. Every single day."

Hesitating for a beat as she heard Beca's voice waver, Chloe finally listened to her gut and stepped behind her to hold her gently, wrapping an arm around her torso. Beca turned her head slightly to send her a grateful smile as her hand came up to rest over Chloe's forearm.

"I'll leave you a moment alone with her, okay?" Chloe murmured after a minute, squeezing Beca gently. She nodded, briefly leaning against Chloe when the redhead kissed her temple.

Chloe waited against the car for Beca to return, which she did after ten minutes. The younger woman immediately reached out for her, tugging Chloe into a tight embrace.

"Thank you for coming with me," Beca said quietly into Chloe's neck, arms slipping past her open coat to wrap around her waist. Chloe's hand ran up and down her back as she hummed.

"Thank you for letting me meet her. I'm glad I did."

* * *

"You made it!" Cynthia-Rose greeted with a grin when the couple gets to the club the following night. Chloe hugged her friend tightly, eyes moving over their surroundings when she pulled away.

"This is an amazing place!" she gushed, taking in the fancy dancefloor and DJ booth towering over it. They had got there fairly early to Beca's insistence, and were probably one of the first guests to arrive.

Cynthia-Rose nodded, before giving Beca her attention. "Ready girl?"

Chloe frowned at that, glancing at them both questioningly. "Ready for what?"

Beca bounced on the balls of her feet, drawing her bottom lip in. She grabbed Chloe's hand and laced their fingers, pulling her towards a more secluded spot. "I'm the DJ tonight."

Chloe felt her jaw go slack as she stared at her girlfriend. "You... _what?_ "

"Cynthia-Rose managed to convince the owner to let this up and coming DJ play here tonight. That's me. I wanted to surprise you."

"Oh my gosh. That's..." Words failed her right in that moment, so she decided to show Beca just how proud she was instead. Tugging her closer, she cupped the brunette's face with her free hand and kissed her with all she had. "You deserve it, baby. Now go out there and show people your magic."

And magical it was.

Chloe already knew most of the mixes playing. But hearing them in a packed club, knowing that her girlfriend was the one behind it all was overwhelming.

Lost in her awe, Chloe didn't realize she was being called until a finger jabbed her in the ribs. She turned to face Stacie, whom Beca had invited, along with Aubrey and Tom.

"You okay?" she asked over the music as they all sat in a VIP booth.

"Yeah, I'm," she shook her head, a smile plastered over her face as her eyes drifted to the DJ booth once again. Beca was swaying to the music, pushing and sliding knobs as if she had been doing it her whole life. "I'm just really happy, Stace. She's... an amazing human being and everything I could ever want. Sounds gross, right?"

Stacie grimaced playfully. "Totally. But it looks good on you. Both of you. We all can tell from the way she looks at you that you mean the world to her, and I'm glad you managed to find that person, Beale."

Before Chloe could come up with something to reply to that, an arm slipped around her waist and she felt Beca's smaller body against her side.

"May I have this dance?" was husked into her ear. Chloe nodded, sliding out of the booth and letting Beca lead her to the dance floor. Her set was nearing its end, and Beca had apparently gone for a slower, smoother electro mix which bathed the room in a soothing atmosphere.

Beca pulled her flush against her, gripping her hips gently as they started to move to the soft music. Chloe looped her arms around Beca's neck, resting her forehead against the brunette's.

"I love you," she mouthed, closing her eyes briefly as she let herself be carried away by the overpowering feelings she expressed for the woman in her arms. Closing the scant gap between them, Chloe pressed her lips to Beca in a long kiss, inhaling through her nose deeply as Beca moved her lips swiftly against hers, alternating between nips and gentle strokes of her tongue.

"You know that happiness thing I was looking for?" Beca asked when they parted. Chloe blinked, still a bit dazed from their kiss.

"Yeah?"

"It's getting pretty real."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the end to this story. Thank you for sticking with me through this journey and for all your lovely comments! Stay tuned for more works with these two!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks!  
> I wasn't planning on writing this but I was thinking about these two and scenes for an epilogue a little bit later down the road sprung to my mind.  
> I haven't written in the past tense in a long time so excuse any mistake, some present tense might have slipped in there. All mistakes are mine.
> 
> This is officially the last chapter of this series (I know I've said that before, but I mean it this time ;) )

With each step Chloe took up to her apartment, the more she felt the need to give in to the tears screaming to get out.

Today had been her first day back at the hospital. The first day after six long months mostly spent at home, volunteering at the local homeless shelter, or spending time with Beca.

The moment she stepped through the ER door this morning, Chloe had been the subject of every glance and whisper. She tried to ignore them throughout the day, choosing to focus on doing her job and nothing else, but the fact that she was supervised made it harder to pretend everything was still the same.

She felt like a medical student again, who had to explain everything she did to her supervisor and ask for someone else to go to the hospital pharmacy for her as she was banned from it for the next six months. She felt, _no_ , she knew she was starting from square one and had to prove herself to the entire team and her chief once more.

Truth be told, Chloe didn't know how she was going to go through those six months if every day was as difficult as this one had been.

Reaching the top-step, Chloe partially hoped Beca wasn't home. She knew her breakdown was inevitable from the way her throat felt trapped by the emotions bubbling up from her chest. She didn't want to cry in front of Beca as she was aware Beca blamed herself for her suspension.

Chloe slid her key into the lock and pushed the door open. Jazz was there to greet her mere seconds later, tail waggling and tongue lolling out as he happily greeted her with a lick to her palm and a nudge of the nose against her hand.

She heard her girlfriend before she saw her, the soft humming of a tune drifting into the hallway from the kitchen.

“Hey Chlo,” Beca greeted with a smile thrown over her shoulder, which Chloe returned.

“Are you making dinner?”

“Yeah. Vegetable stir fry with rice and soy sauce.”

Chloe stepped closer to kiss her lightly. Her day had just gone from awful to slightly less so. “That sounds amazing, baby.”

“How was your first day back?” Beca asked, sliding her hand into one of Chloe's.

“It was alright,” Chloe lied. “I just have to get back on track.”

Beca observed her for a brief moment, as though she was onto her quievering emotions. Eventually, she smiled and kissed Chloe's cheek. “I'm sure you will.”

A sob surfaced at the edge of Chloe's throat, threatening to barrel past her teeth. “Yeah. I'm going to take a shower before dinner okay? I feel gross.”

Beca eyed her for another stretch but didn't say anything other than, “Okay.”

Tears leaked out of Chloe's eyes the moment she turned around in the direction of the bedroom, and the sobs made her body silently shake the second she shut the bathroom door behind her.

She didn't know how long she spent in the shower, her hand propped against the wall as she let the slightly hotter than usual water hit her back.

Long enough for the water to turn lukewarm and her skin to become pruny.

Long enough to question her career and her abilities to practice medicine.

Long enough to worry Beca.

A soft knock on the door cut Chloe out of her musings. She reached out to turn off the water just as Beca spoke.

“Are you okay? You've been in here for a long time.”

Chloe cleared her throat, hoping her voice wouldn't betray the fact that she had been crying for the last... five minutes? Half-hour? She wasn't sure.

“Yeah, um, I'll be out soon.”

“I'm, uh, going to take Jazz for a walk. I'll be back in a little bit.”

Chloe frowned; that was something they usually did after dinner to catch up on their respective days, but Beca's footsteps had already departed by the time she wanted to mentioned it. Chloe took her time drying herself off, then put on her comfiest sweatpants along with a long sleeved shirt, and padded to the kitchen to take a beer from the fridge.

The apartment was unusually quiet without Beca, Tom or Jazz, so she settled on the couch, choosing a channel at random to fill the white noise as she thumbed through her phone while taking occasional sips from her beer.

When the second episode of _The Office_ ended and Beca still wasn't back, Chloe sat up and checked the time. It had been more than a hour since she left the apartment. Their walks usually lasted twenty-five minutes, half-an-hour at the most.

She sat back and tried not to worry too much but, given Beca's heavy past, that was a difficult thing to do. Even though Beca had been completely clean for just under six months, she still felt the itch to use on bad days. She told Chloe about it one night a couple weeks ago as they laid in bed and while Chloe knew it was part of the process, she remembered feeling her heart drop into her stomach.

The front door opened a couple minutes later and Chloe heaved out a gush of air in relief when Beca rounded the corner.

“Hey, I was starting to get worried,” she said softly as she stood up, watching Beca unclip the leash from Jazz's collar and patted his head before he walked to his water bowl.

Beca looked at Chloe and shuffled closer, hands toying with the rope leash in her hands. “Sorry. I needed time to clear my head.”

Chloe remained silent, not sure what to do with that piece of information. She had the inkling her first day back to work and Beca needing some time to think were linked.

“Are you okay?” Chloe asked, sitting on the armrest of the couch as Beca stepped closer. The brunette set the leash on the coffee table and came to stand right before Chloe.

“Are _you_?” she directed instead, eyes soft as she gently held Chloe's face with one hand. “Because you look far from okay.”

Despite how much she tried to hold it back, a tear escaped Chloe's eye to run down her cheek, curl around her chin and drip onto her lap. “My, uh, my day wasn't so good. I felt like the circus freak, everyone kept staring at me and...” a sob ripped itself from her throat, and her hand shoot up to try and contain the following ones. “It was awful.”

“Baby,” Beca whispered, catching a few more tears with the pads of her thumbs. She pulled Chloe against her, cradling her head to her chest as Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca's waist to tug her impossibly closer. She felt Beca's warm lips into her hair and let her eyes flutter shut. “I'm sorry.”

Chloe knew Beca wasn't saying that because her first day back didn't go well. She was saying that because, just how Chloe had feared, she felt guilty, and Chloe's heart squeezed painfully in her chest.

“It's not your fault,” Chloe murmured back once she had gathered a semblance of composure. Pulling away, she wiped the remainder of her tears and sniffled. Beca looked uncertain, eyes running away from Chloe's. “It's _not_.”

Beca stiffened, hands dropping back to her sides. “You lost your job because of me.”

“I lost my job because of _my_ decisions.”

“Decisions that you had to take because I screwed up and asked you for your help with Benji in the first place.”

Chloe could nearly see the walls around Beca's heart standing back up. She released a slow breath and counted to three in her head in order to weight her words.

“I could have said no. I could have walked away because, truth be told, you were kind of a bitch back then,” Chloe cracked a small smile, but it faded away the second it wasn't returned.

“Beca,” she said firmly, slipping both hands in Beca's to try and stir her girlfriend's attention away from her irrational thoughts. “I already said it to you in that car when we went home from the hospital six months ago and I'm going to say it again now, and I _need_ you to believe me.”

She waited until Beca's fleeting eyes met hers timidly. “I knew what I was risking when I took those drugs from the hospital pharmacy. I knew it, yet I still went through with my plan. And if I were given the chance to go back to that day, I would make the exact same decision. I don't regret it, because even if my career took a blow, what came out of it; having you in my life, is worth a lot more.”

She waited a handful of seconds for her words to settle within Beca before adding, “Okay?”

“Yeah, I...” Beca sighed, letting her shoulders drop, as though now free from the invisible weight pressing down on them. “I'm sorry for making this about me. You are the one who had an awful day and needs comfort, not the other way around.”

“Hey, listen to me,” Chloe requested, trailing her hands up Beca's arms to cup her face. “I'd rather you talked to me about this than drowning in your feelings. And if you can't talk about it with me, with anyone else that will listen. I don't want you to...” Chloe faltered, the words too bold to make the leap past the barrier of her teeth.

“I won't,” Beca said, destroying the unspoken doubt suspended in mid-air. “I won't do that. I promise.”

Chloe blew out a breath, nodding. “Okay.”

“I love you,” Beca murmured, stepping closer to wind her arms under Chloe's and around her back. She bent down to press a gentle kiss to Chloe's lips, then to her nose and forehead. “You are my heart.”

Chloe melted into her body, lids falling shut as Beca's lips skipped over her face in feather-light kisses. A lone tear resting in the corner of her eye slipped out and she felt Beca wipe it away tenderly with a swipe of her thumb.

“I love you, too. So much.”

“I know,” Beca's soft, smiling tone made her open her eyes. “You show me everyday just how much, Chlo.”

Chloe stood on quivering legs and pulled Beca into her, burying her face into the crook of her neck, letting the anguish and exhaustion of the day be chased away by the warmth and comfort provided by Beca's embrace.

“Dinner?” Beca asked softly after a while, stilling her swaying. Chloe backed away and nodded, smiling at Beca as she pushed strands of hair away from Chloe's face to tuck them behind her ears. “And then we can take a bath maybe? Or watch one of those stupid sitcoms?”

Chloe giggled. Sitcoms had never been Beca's things, but she endured them about once a week, admitting it was for the couch cuddles included in the package. “I'd like that.”

As the relaxing evening progressed, Beca's attentive ministrations made Chloe forget about work and the fact that she had to go back in the morning.

By lunch time the next day, Chloe was looking forward to taking a break. She slid her chart into the appropriate rack at the reception desk and smiled at Amy, who, along with Stacie, had been nothing but supportive.

“Your girl is here to see you,” Amy let her know with a smirk and a wink. Sure enough, Chloe's eyes followed Amy's line of sight to fall on Beca's figure. Beca waved at her and smiled from her spot next to the sliding doors, Jazz patiently sitting by her side.

Grinning, Chloe walked to her and let Jazz nuzzle her hand in greeting. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We're taking you to lunch.” Beca stated with a lopsided smile, hands jammed in the pockets of her leather jacket. “Are you free?”

“Yeah,” Chloe confirmed. The doctor shadowing her was on his lunch break so there was nothing she could do until her returned, in about an hour. “I'm free.”

“Cool. Do you need your jacket?”

“No, it's warm enough out.” Chloe stepped closer and lightly pecked Beca's lips in greeting. “Hi,”

Beca grinned and dipped in for another kiss, keeping it chaste given their surroundings. “Hello.”

Chloe's happy demeanor faltered as she caught the pair of nurses standing by the staff room in the corner of her eye. She glanced at them to confirm the fact that they were gossiping about her, causing Beca to follow her line her gaze and frown.

“Hey,” Beca called out loudly, catching their attention. They looked over like two deer caught in the headlights, visibly thrown off by Beca's scowl and menacing glare. “Don't you have something else better to do? This is a workplace, not the fucking afternoon tea.”

Chloe's heart fluttering in her chest. While she didn't need Beca to defend her, it felt satisfying to watch them scamper off with their tails between their legs.

“My knight in shining armor,” she murmured to lighten Beca's mood. Beca rolled her eyes and shrugged.

“Anytime.”

Chloe couldn't resist kissing her again.

“Quit making-out, it's disgusting.”

Chloe giggled against Beca's lips and turned her head to see Stacie look at them with a fond smile while on her way to the staff room. Beca flushed a deep crimson, eyes falling to the ground while Chloe watched on endearingly.

“Good to see you, Beca. How is that album going?”

Beca cleared her throat and smiled at Stacie. “Steady. Cynthia-Rose hopes for a release beginning of next year.”

“That's amazing news. I'll be the first in line to buy it.”

“Um, excuse me,” Chloe scoffed and Beca chuckled.

Stacie rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, you're banging the girl. I know you'll get to listen to it before anyone else because I have no doubt you're amazing in bed, with that body and flexibility.”

The blush Beca had managed to get rid off crept back onto her face, making Stacie cackle.

“Stop trying to give my girlfriend a heart attack, Stace.”

Stacie lifted her hands in surrender. “I'm done. See you after lunch. Bye Beca.”

“Bye, Stacie.”

/

Beca hadn't stopped fidgeting since they got into the car to the airport. It was endearing at first, but fast-forward five hours later as they drove to her parents' house in their rental vehicle, Chloe was starting to be concerned about her girlfriend.

Her complexion had turned as white as a ghost and her hand was tapping a nervous rhythm on her thigh. Chloe slowed her car down to a stop behind her parents' in their driveway and turned to face Beca.

“Hey,” she reached out to tap Beca's hand gently. Beca's nervous dark blues snapped to her. “Stop worrying, baby.”

“Stop worrying?” Beca echoed uncertainly. “It's your _family._ I've- I've never met anybody's parents before, this is a big deal.”

Chloe smiled and wove her fingers through Beca's. Beca's palm was sweaty against her own. “My parents are chill, I promise.”

Beca tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, nibbling on it for a few seconds, then releasing it. “What if I mess up?”

Chloe refrained from rolling her eyes. “You won't mess up. And even if you do, they love you already from all the things I've been babbling about you for the last eight months.”

“Okay,” Beca's eyes flitted back to Chloe's parents' house. She took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”

Chloe leaned across the console to kiss her for good measure. “Come on.”

Sure enough and per Chloe's request, Chloe's parents acted as chill as they could (given the fact they were meeting the first person Chloe had ever brought home, ever) when they stepped inside the house. Chloe's mom didn't hug Beca, even though Chloe could tell she was dying to, and settled for a handshake, along with a warm smile and a comforting squeeze to Beca's forearm.

“It's, uh, it's nice to meet you both, Mr. and Mrs. Beale.”

“Please,” Chloe's father predictably corrected. “Call us Mike and Alice. And it's very nice to meet you too, Beca.”

Beca nodded and before an awkward silence could settle in the hallway, Chloe's dad led her to the living room, already asking her about baseball.

“Hi honey,” Chloe smiled and melted into her mother's embrace. She hadn't seen them in almost a year and forgot how good it felt to be home. Alice pulled away and squeezed her shoulders. “You look good. How is work?”

It had been two months since Chloe started work again and while she was still ticked off and frustrated about having her every move scrutinized, her relationship with her co-workers was almost back to normal.

“It's getting better, mom, don't worry.” Chloe shrugged, lips curving into a smile as her father's laughter drifted from the living-room. “My career is not my whole life anymore, y'know?”

“I know, and I'm glad for that,” Alice stated with a beaming grin. “Beca seems to be an amazing person.”

Chloe wondered if the love reflecting in Beca's eyes whenever she gazed at Chloe was as obvious to other people as it was to her.

She nodded, her own smile widening as a handful of butterflies started acting up in her belly.

“She is. I'm really happy, mom.”

Beca and her dad were still talking about sports when Chloe and her mom walked into the living-room a few minutes later, and Beca sent her a quick wink to wordlessly assure her she wasn't so nervous anymore.

They cooked dinner all together, Beca cracking a few jokes now and then as she gradually relaxed around Chloe's parents. They shuffled up the stairs towards Chloe's childhood home not too long after, both worn our from the day of travel.

“Did you text Tom about Jazz?” Beca asked as Chloe slipped back into her room after washing up. Beca was already in her sleep shorts and cotton shirt, laying on top of the covers with a book open in her hands.

“Yes.” Chloe replied with an amused smile as she walked to the bed and knelt on her side of the mattress. She forgot how soft it was and wondered how she slept on it for nearly ten years without complaining. “He's fine, he's surviving without you, babe.”

“I know,” Beca responded with an eye-roll, “I just don't like to leave him.”

“I know.” Chloe echoed softly, shuffling closer. She plucked the book out of Beca's hands, who whined quietly because she didn't have time to look at the page number, and haphazardly tossed it over her shoulder onto the mattress as she moved to hover above Beca, bracing her weight on both hands. She dipped down to capture Beca's lips in a slow, thorough kiss, swallowing Beca's groan. “Hi,”

“Hello,” Beca grinned, draping an arm over her shoulders. She looked away from Chloe to let her eyes drift to their surroundings. “So this is your room.”

“Yep.” Chloe shrugged. “There isn't much to it.”

“Those cheer-leading pictures are worth a visit all the way down to Florida.”

“Yeah?” Chloe grinned, kissing Beca again.

“Definitely. Do you, um,” Beca started toying with the hem of Chloe's shirt as her face turned red in prospect of voicing the rest of the question. “Do you still have that cheer-leading outfit?”

“I might,” Chloe husked out, licking her lips in anticipation of wearing it for Beca. “You want me to look for it now?”

“No,” Beca said, hands moving to hold Chloe's hips. Heat bloomed in her cheeks as she broke eye-contact. “We're not – we're not going to have _sex_ with your parents sleeping next door. I was... thinking you could maybe pack it when we go back home.”

While she knew Beca was most likely to stand by that, Chloe still pouted and batted her eyelashes. “So no sex for an entire _week_?”

Beca shrugged. “I guess so.”

She didn't seem unfazed at all, but Chloe had a few tricks up her sleeve to change her mind in the days to come.

Chloe hummed doubtedly but settled for a kiss before she moved off Beca. “Very well, then.”

“I mean, I'm not opposed to making-out,” Beca rushed out, making Chloe laugh and kiss her. Beca smiled, nudging Chloe's nose with hers. “Hey, I didn't mean to, but I overheard you and your mom talk earlier as I was going to the bathroom.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I just... I just wanted to let you know that you make me very happy, too.”

Chloe grinned and brushed her lips against Beca's. “Good. I love you,”

“I love you, too, Red.”

/

Beca's release party was a lot to take in, especially for Beca herself. She met a lot of people, took a lot of pictures and Chloe could tell those were things she wasn't very comfortable with yet; being the center of attention.

It wasn't until she got onto the stage in the bar where the party was held that Beca relaxed. Performing in front of people was something she had mastered over the eight years she spent living on the streets. The shyness and awkwardness vanished the second she got her hands on her guitar and stood behind that microphone; she let her raw emotions carry her and captivate the audience from the first lyrics.

Chloe had heard her songs countless of times by now; on the streets that night she recognized Beca, during that day at her apartment while the blizzard was raging outside, and in the last few weeks preceding the album release.

Yet, it didn't matter how well she knew the melodies and the words. Watching Beca pour her heart out in those lyrics that told about her hardship never failed to tug at her heartstrings.

Over the following week, Beca promoted her album, _Mountains_ , in different stores, spending afternoons signing copies and taking pictures with the base of fans she had already made after the release of her first single.

The response was unparalleled for a first album, with thousands of copies sold over the week. Even after a month following the release, Chloe still found unsettling to come across Beca's name on pop-ups in different stores and never failed to take a selfie with a row of her albums.

**Chloe [5:09 PM]**

_Look who I found at Morton Williams. What a hottie!!! <3_

**Beca [5:09 PM]**

_Unfortunately, that hottie is taken by an amazing girl._

**Chloe [5:10 PM]**

_Dang._

**Beca [5:10 PM]**

_I guess I can make an exception for you ;)_

**Beca [5:10 PM]**

_Are you home soon?_

**Chloe [5:10 PM]**

_Yeah, just picking up some groceries. See you in a bit._

Chloe got home an hour later, to Beca thumbing through her phone, a bottle of something bubbly chilling in an ice bucket, two glass flutes and a bouquet of lilies -Chloe's favorites- sitting on the kitchen island she stood by.

“What's all this?” Chloe asked, cocking a curious eyebrow as she set the two paper bags she carried on a stool.

If she didn't know any better, she thought Beca was going to propose. However, she knew the date and felt her heart settle in her chest from the look of pride in Beca's expression.

“I got this today,” Beca said softly, clearing her throat as she slid something across the table. Chloe's eyes glanced down to the bronze Narcotics Anonymous recovery coin, then back to its holder. Beca blew out a breath, a small smile tugging at her lips. “One year.”

Chloe beamed and walked around the table to wrap Beca up in a bone-crushing embrace. “I'm so, _so_ proud of you, Bec.”

Beca's hand slid up her back to rest between her shoulder blades, keeping her close. “Thank you, baby. I'm proud of myself, too.”

Even if Beca didn't necessarily talk about it, Chloe knew some days were hard. When the pressure got to be too much for her shoulders, or when old ghosts lurked in the shadows, Beca's resolve teetered, but never broke. The road ahead was still long and tricky but Chloe knew that getting to the first-year mark meant leaving the hazardous cliff in the rear-view mirror.

“So we're gonna have to do a lot of drinking tonight, because,” Chloe chuckled as she stepped away, reaching in one of the bags and pulling out a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne. Beca had also decided to quit drinking any kind of alcohol, not wanting to fall into the trap of substituting drugs with alcohol and risking getting dependent to it. “I bought this to celebrate.”

Beca gaped for a good five seconds, eyes moving to meet Chloe's. “You remembered?”

“Of course I did.” Chloe said fondly, melting into the kiss Beca placed upon her lips. “So proud.”

Beca smiled against her mouth and kissed her once more. “I love you.”

“Oh, I'm sorry,” Both women broke apart upon hearing Tom's voice, finding him awkwardly hovering in the kitchen doorway. “I didn't mean to interrupt whatever is going on.”

“You're right on time,” Beca said, turning around to grab an additional glass from the cupboard above the counter. Tom picked up the coin from the table and nodded, impressed.

“Congratulations, Beca.”

“Thank you. You, um, you had your part in my recovery, too, and I'm very grateful to you.”

“Don't mention it,” Tom waved his hand dismissively. “I'm just happy the hardest part is over.”

Beca poured some champagne in the three glasses and they all toasted to another great year to come. After quickly finishing his glass, Tom bid them a good evening and retreated to his bedroom, no doubt to give them some privacy.

“I, uh, I also got my first real check today with Cynthia-Rose, from the single and album sales.” Beca started, running a finger over the rim of her glass absentmindedly. “I would like to take you out tonight. That was a promise I made to myself that day at the rehab when I said I would cook for you instead. I didn't have the means back then but I do now, so...”

Chloe's mind felt dizzy with countless of happy sensations winding together, so much that she couldn't voice a reply before Beca spoke once more.

“And since I'm bound to get more of those checks that will enable me to be comfortable for a good while, I was thinking that, uh,” Beca looked down, her fingers now fiddling with the foot of the glass. “That, if you wanted, we could, um, move into our own place?”

Chloe would be lying if she said she hadn't been thinking about that for a few months. She didn't want to be the one to initiate it, because she had always been the eager one in the couple serious relationships she had before her job took over her life.

Being with Beca however, changed that. No matter how comfortable she had grown to be around Chloe, she was still insecure and wary about relying on someone and Chloe wanted to respect that and let Beca take that step whenever she felt ready.

Chloe tried to keep her excited heart from jumping out of her chest and gave in to the beaming smile threatening to split her face.

“Are you serious?”

“Well, yeah.” Beca shrugged with her signature lopsided smile. She wound both arms around Chloe's waist and kissed her. “I want to make a home with you.”

Chloe grabbed the counter to steady herself now that her legs were close to bucking underneath her.

“Are you okay?” Beca asked through a tiny laugh.

Chloe nodded, exhaling slowly. “I want that, too.”

“Good,” Beca grinned and kissed her again. “I'm guessing you want to order take-out and start looking now?”

Giggling, Chloe pecked Beca's lips and shimmied out of her hold. “I'll go get my computer.”

Beca was on the couch when Chloe got back after switching from her scrubs to comfy sweatpants and an over-sized sweater. She was on the phone ordering Chloe's favorite, Jazz rolled in a ball at her feet, as Chloe plopped down next to her, balancing her laptop on her thighs.

“Your pad thaï will be here in half-hour,” Beca said as she hung up and snuggled closer, her hand curling around Chloe's forearm.

“Thanks, baby,” Chloe murmured, twisting her head to press a kiss across Beca's temple. “Okay, so we're looking for something ideally close to the studio _and_ the hospital, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Two bedrooms? The additional one can be for friends staying over and an office.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. And a park nearby,” Beca added, glancing down at her dog. “For Jazz.”

Chloe smiled. “Of course.”

“And maybe then we can get a couple other dogs so he's not too lonely when we're at work.”

And come home to a destroyed apartment. Chloe stifled a laugh.

“A _couple_? You realize that means we'll be outnumbered by dogs.”

“For a little while maybe, yeah.”

Chloe blinked, not sure if those were words produced by Beca's mind or just a figment of imagination created by hers. Leaning forward to set her computer on the coffee table, Chloe then pivoted to face Beca.

She cleared her throat to make sure her voice was still somewhere within reach. “What, um, _what_?”

Apparently her brain wasn't.

“Sorry. What I meant by that is that we're bound to have a baby someday, right?”

Chloe felt her own eyes widen. She knew she wanted kids, of _course_ she did. Ever since her first babysitting gig at the age of twelve, Chloe was positive she wanted to become a mother.

That Beca did, too, was however brand new information. They had yet to have that talk and again, Chloe was too scared to move too fast or push Beca into a corner by even mentioning it.

“A baby?” she echoed with another blink. She locked eyes with Beca's surprisingly steady ones. “You want kids?”

“I, uh, I never thought I would, but then again, I never thought I would be able to get into the music business again, or even off the streets. That changed when you walked into my life and showed me what love was about and...” Beca paused, waving her fingers through Chloe. “...having a baby with you, a product of our love, is something that would make me unbelievably happy.”

Chloe whimpered, trying to blink away the tears that had gathered in her eyes as she listened to Beca.

“Not, um, right away of course. I want to...” Beca cleared her throat, eyes focusing on their bound hands. “I'm not stable. I'm not- I don't entirely trust myself yet because I can still feel that craving and I have to get there before being entrusted with someone else's well-being.”

“I know,” Chloe offered with a reassuring smile, hand sliding up Beca's thigh. “And there's no rush, you know. We have only been together for a year and a half and I intend on keeping you all to myself for a little while before we start thinking of having a little monster.”

“I know. I just wanted to let you know that I want the same things you do.”

Chloe took a deep breath, welcoming the rush of warmth wrapping around her lungs as she let Beca's words echo within her. Her hand hiked up to cup Beca's neck and tug her closer until their lips locked into a slow kiss that spread the heat to every corner of her body. A quiet, drown-out moan flit out of her mouth as Beca tilted her head to deepen it, fingers sinking into Chloe's hair.

Somewhere during their lip-lock and without really registering it, Chloe ended up straddling Beca's lap, Beca's hands firmly set on her hips.

“What about,” Beca managed between light nips when Chloe's hands sneaked under her shirt. “the apartment hunt?”

Chloe moaned as Beca's lips lefts hers to skip down her neck. “Tomorrow.”

“And dinner?” Beca breathed out against her skin, goosebumps pebbling to the surface.

“Later.”

Squealing when Beca abruptly stood up, Chloe wrapped her legs around her waist and cupped her face to pull her into a searing kiss.

“Bedroom?”

Beca's half-lidded, lust filled eyes would have made her legs buck had they been holding her up.

Chloe smirked. “Bullseye.”

/

Beca had been acting weird for a few days; nervous, fleeting, and completely unfocused. Chloe had started to look for physical signs of relapse, but couldn't find any. Yet, her mind wasn't at peace and she knew she had to ask Beca what was going on before she did the irreparable of going through her stuff to see if there was any drug hidden anywhere.

Beca was working on her computer at the kitchen island when Chloe got home from work. They had moved into their new place six months ago, a bright two-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn with a park across the street.

Jazz greeted her at the door as always and as always, she spent a minute petting him before shuffling towards her girlfriend, who sent her a small smile over her computer.

“Hi,” she murmured, coming to a stop behind Beca. She wrapped her arms around Beca's shoulders and pressed her lips to her cheek.

“Hello,” Beca replied, laying a hand on top of Chloe's arms. She twisted her head and smiled softly. “How was your day?”

“Same old,” Chloe answered absentmindedly, brain entirely focused on something else. “Listen, can we talk?”

She realized it wasn't the best conversation starter, as those words were known as the universal break-up opener. She felt Beca tense in her arms and loosened her hold for Beca to spin around on the stool.

“Is everything okay?”

“I think I should be the one asking you that,” Chloe countered softly, wrapping her fingers around Beca's. “I'm worried about you because you've been fidgety lately and – and as much as I don't want to jump to conclusions, I...”

“You think I'm using again,” Beca finished with a hard swallow, shoulders dropping in defeat or in disappointment, Chloe couldn't tell.

“I'm sorry,” Chloe whispered, blinking away the unnecessary tears filling her eyes. “I don't want to believe that but somewhere in the corner of my brain, I'm afraid that something is stressing you out and that using might be your escape.”

“I'm not using, Chlo.” Beca said, with an incredible patience and understanding as to where Chloe was coming from that spoke volumes of how far she had come; she wasn't the defensive person she used to be whenever she was on drugs anymore.

“Okay.” Chloe closed her eyes briefly, both in relief that she was wrong and in shame for ever doubting Beca. “I'm sorry for asking, I... I just got scared.”

“It's, uh, it's okay. I'm sorry for being agitated, too. I wanted – I wanted to wait until tomorrow night to do it but...” Beca shook her head, as though to focus on whatever her thoughts were obsessing over. “Can you hold on a second? I-I need to go get something.”

Frowning, Chloe slowly nodded and accepted the quick kiss Beca planted on her lips, as a form of reassurance, she guessed. Beca was back a mere minute later, hands slightly shaky as they slipped into Chloe.

“I, um, hadn't planned on doing this in the kitchen, but...” Beca gave her a small, nervous smile and Chloe felt her eyes widen and her heart pick up to a tremendous pace in both realization and anticipation.

“Oh, my god.”

“Chloe, you're my everything. You came out of nowhere with those blue eyes, that dazzling smile but most importantly, that unwavering faith in me that felt so foreign and scary at first. But you managed to tear down the walls I had spent so many years building in just a few months and made me trust you like I hadn't trust anyone since my mom's death.”

As Beca paused, Chloe freed one of her hands to wipe the tears that has already fallen down her cheeks.

“You saved my life, both figuratively and literally. Not only that, but you encouraged me to look for the light at the end of the tunnel, to seek for a better life. It seemed so far away and I stumbled catching a few hurdles, yet you remained. Kind and strong by my side through it all and I know for a fact I couldn't have done it without you.”

Beca took a deep breath and cleared her throat. “You reminded me what it felt like to be loved unconditionally and to love in return. I know my heart belongs to you and I... I was wondering if you were maybe ready to take the next step, because I know I am.”

“Yes,” Chloe sputtered out through a sob.

“Chlo,” Beca chuckled affectionately, squeezing her fingers. “I think I need to ask the question, first.”

“Right, right,” Chloe laughed and cleared her throat. Her whole body was tingling in overwhelming glee. “Get on with it, then, because I can't wait to call you my fiancée.”

Beca whimpered quietly at that, inhaling shakily as she fished out a square velvet box from the pocket of her hoodie. Lowering herself on one knee, she smiles up at Chloe as she opened it. Chloe's eyes dropped to the simple but beautiful sparkling princess cut diamond nestled inside.

“Chloe Beale, my love, will you be my wife?”

A sob got stuck in Chloe's throat as she nodded several times. “Yes, of course I will.”

As much as she wanted to tug Beca up and pull her into a long kiss, Beca had apparently decided to propose by the letter. She plucked the ring out and slid it onto Chloe's finger.

“I love you,” Chloe mumbled against Beca's lips, which she immediately captured with her own when Beca finally straightened. “I love you so, so much.”

“I love you, too, Chlo.” Beca said as she pulled away, brushing Chloe's tears away from her face and tucking a few strands of hair behind her ears in the same process. “I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Letting out a watery, happy laugh, Chloe pulled Beca into an embrace.

It had started raining outside, the soft and steady pitter patter of the drops hitting the window bathing the room in a soothing, intimate mood.

Chloe pressed her smiling lips into Beca's neck and closed her eyes, heart full with unparalleled love and happiness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beca's album title Mountains is in reference to Dr. Seuss Oh, the Places You Will Go that Beca's mom used to read to her when she was a kid (chapter seven).
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it. Feedback is always appreciated, lovelies.


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